Forget-me-not
by Ilma
Summary: After the Titanic sinking Rose is found by Cal and Ruth, while Jack is left in the care of Molly Brown. Once Cal realizes that Rose can't remember anything, he uses this knowledge to his advantage. Please read and review :-)
1. Chapter 1

The room was only dimly lit and the cushions felt warm and comforting against her body. She blinked her eyelids, trying to open them, making out a person sitting in a rocking chair on the other side of the chamber. In fact it couldn't have been very big, because as she was stretching out her arms, she already hit one side of the wall.

For some reason she recalled her own compartment being much bigger, the sheets of much better quality. She laid her head to one side, turning away from the other person, closing her eyes again. She had no idea why, but she felt cold – so cold and worn out. And she was so tired, like she hadn't slept in a week. She could hear voice from outside - a man and a woman taking, the latter one seemed to have been crying and appeared to be in great distress.

"Mrs. Dewitt Bukater, I assure you, your daughter will be fine."

The doctor hurried past her wanting to check up on the other patients. The young lady in here was in good care now with the nurse Betsy. He wasn't solely there for her well-being - there were thousands of other waiting for the right treatment.

"Why am I not allowed seeing her then, doctor? I'm her mother, surely you must understand...," Ruth put on that fake voice and even managed to shed a few tears.

The doctor was at best not caring - he had seen so many people much worse than the daughter of this woman. In fact practically the whole third class infirmary was full of people more dead than alive. He couldn't care less about the outburst or even more feelings of this woman at present. He knew people like her and now they viewed him - like someone from the province only good enough to sell them medicine.

Ruth sniffed a tear, noting she probably wouldn't have her way this time. She looked the doctor up and down, dying to know, if he even had an admission to practice. His attire certainly could've been better. For now they obviously had to deal with him, but as soon as they were in New York they would go and see a real one.

"Of course, ma'am, I see your point, but your daughter needs her rest. She has just survived some very dreadful ordeal," he told her.

God, this woman was as cold as ice…he was glad that she wasn't his mother. Truely she didn't seem to be very concerned at all. The doctor was sure that she was just putting on a show for everyone. He had seen people losing their loved-ones or being close to it and he never recalled anyone being so composed and snappy than this woman.

He was normally quite open-minded and not at prejudiced, but maybe it was true after all what some people said of the first class - especially about Titanic - that they were snobby and only caring about money. The woman in front of him certainly fitted this case.

The man besides her, who had so far kept his mouth closed, was now stepping in front of her, like he wanted to prove that he was the man in the house after all and that no one should mess up with him.

"Ruth, my dear, I'm certain, this gentleman here only wants her best," Cal tapped him the shoulder a gesture, which the doctor didn't appreciate at all.

This so-called gentleman was even more vicious than the woman. He just hoped that these weren't the only people the young woman inside there could rely on. For a full recovery she undoubtedly needed the assistance of someone loving her truthfully – not pretending like those two.

"If you'd excuse me now, Madam, Sir…I do have some more patients I need to take care off," he spoke in a hast, not being able to hide the fact that he couldn't get away from them fast enough.

They were making him nauseating. There were hundreds on this ship, who had lost everything and here they were – he had heard them complaining about the shortness of suitable rooms.

Ruth sniffed another tear, turning her attention to her would-be-son-in-law.

"This man is certainly not the cream of the crop, when I think of a doctor proper to treat my Rose."

"Oh Ruth he's a ship's doctor…of a freighter," he spoke up lightening himself a cigarette.

For sure he knew that the Carpathia wasn't a cargo ship. Cal and Ruth were far from glad that they had been just been saved from a horrible nautic catastrophe, while more than half of it had died. They didn't even acknowledge the fact that they had been given a whole room for Rose to rest in by herself, while most others needed to share a big hall and couldn't even think of being provided by one nurse alone.

Inside Rose had started sneezing. She had heard the voices outside, but wasn't able to listen and couldn't place their words into the right context. Nothing of it made any sense. She was pretty sure that she was used to something more than this – the clothes alone that she was wearing at the moment indicated as much.

She had noted the distress of the woman outside and wondered, if it had something to do with her. Was she in such a made shape? Was she dying? Though half-asleep when being brought up here, the cries and angsts of the people around her, hadn't escaped her.

Something terrible must've happened and she had obviously been part of it.

"Miss Rose, are you still sleeping?"

Was she still sleeping? No, in fact not, but somehow the voices and sounds around annoyed her. She would've preferred to be left alone. She didn't want to be here with them, feeling that she belonged somewhere else – with someone else. She just didn't know where or with whom.

Hell, it was all so confusing.

"Miss Rose, I could make you tea, if you want. It will do you good and warm you up inside."

At the mention of the word _warm_ Rose felt another wave of chilliness shoot through her whole body. Why couldn't she remember what had happened to her? She realized that it must've been something terrible, because otherwise surely there wouldn't be a nurse solely condemning just for her.

"Thank god, you've found her in time, Mr. Hockley. I mean before…"

Cal could only agree with her in this. As soon as the survivors had been brought on board the Carpathia he hadn't taken any time to look around for Rose. Almost sure were to find her he had hastily taken the steps down on the infirmary of the third class. There she had been - wrapped up in a blanket and looking totally out of place. Cal hadn't cared at all to ask her about her opinion, he had simply taken her hand and led her upstairs.

Rose had followed him without any protest, which should've made Cal suspicious already at this point, but he had only been to happy at this moment that she hadn't put up another - embarrassing - fight for him.

"But we're not safe yet, Ruth. So far I haven't been to the infirmary and of course the chances are low, but…there's always the possibility that he might've still made it."

"I'm positive, Mr. Hockley that if the unspeakable is indeed true, then…let's just say, I'm confident we'll find another way around."

Cal only nodded at her. He was completely with her in this. Rose had had her fun on the Titanic, whoring around with this boy, but it had to stop now. He wouldn't be made a fool by his little fiancée and her gutter rat.

"Certainly, Mrs. Dewitt Bukater...certainly…if you will…I think I might try to find out something out about the boy."

Rose felt like her head was bursting in two. Without noticing herself it she had touched her forehead and found that it was covered in sweat, a circumstance that both shocked and surprised her, considering what she was sensing in the other half of her body.

Was she having a fever – developing a cold? Seemingly the person in front of her was very concerned about her, surely she wouldn't be, if there wasn't something awfully wrong with her. Before she could think straight again, the door opened once more, revealing a man and a woman, both dressed up quite well actually.

"Oh, Miss Rose, you're awake," another person happily complied. "I must just find your mother and Mr. Hockley to tell them. They'll be so happy to find you well."

Rose didn't bother to look at her, an uncertain kind of queasiness coming up. She supposed that everyone needed to have a mother, but Mr. Hockley – who was he? What kind of relationship did he have with her?

She didn't have time to dwell on that thought much longer as a person, aged around forty stepped into the room. She assumed that it was her mother.

"Rose, honey, I'm so glad you're better," the woman pulled her into a hug.

Her touch didn't feel soothing at all, quite the contrary, like she wanted to hide something, but Rose was too exhausted to take further notice. She only wanted to lie down and sleep again.

"Mother?" she asked uneasily.

The woman planted a kiss on her cheek as an answer.

"Yes, my dear…my god look at you…your clothes, they are certainly not the best…," she sat down at the edge of the bed. "You look so…now well...I think that these things can't be helped now and I assume that this here is better than nothing," she sniffed again, when seeing the dirt hanging everywhere around "…but we really need to get you to a real hospital – luckily it'll be only a few days until we arrive in New York."

"New York? We're on a ship?" Rose stared at her mother.

That might explain her nausea. Maybe it was just seasickness.

Ruth was taken by surprise for a second and it took her a while to find her voice again. Her only daughter looked at like she was some stranger. Was she playing games again? Rose had always liked to put on a show for everyone, believing it to be funny, even more so, when it shocked her mother and others around her.

"Why, yes, honey, we're," she confirmed. "Don't you remember?"

Rose could only shake her head. This woman was totally alien to her, as was the man.

"Ruth, it everything alright with her…I heard that she had woken…," Ruth stopped him by waving her hand.

"Oh, Mr. Hockley, it's horrible, my dear girl," she cried out in a high-pitched voice. "Do you know who I am?"

"Yes, my mother," Rose got out.

This had to be her mother, right? After all the other woman beforehand had mentioned that her mother would visit her. It couldn't be anyone else.

Ruth for sure knew this too and could only shake her head again. It was really true. Rose obviously had memory loss. How horrible! Her poor girl.

"But you don't know, you're just putting two and two together, because Betsy here told you, who would be coming to see you."

Rose gazed at her expressionlessly and then turned her gaze at the man standing beside her. He was dressed up in fine clothes and smiling at her, but their was something in his eyes that she found cold - like they were piercing through her. She wondered, if that had something to do with her.

Had she done something wrong?

"My dear, god, Mr. Hockley…it's true…she doesn't remember her own mother."

Rose wasn't sure now, if her tears were fake or for real. This woman seemed to her to be very cold-blooded. And what about the man…? Was he her husband? She had to admit that on the outside he looked quite handsome and he was much more calm than the her mother.

"Rose, this is Mr. Hockley. He found you laying unconsciousness and put you here, where we were able to take good care of you."

"Who're you?" Rose asked now in the direction of Cal, who did his best to hide the smirk on his face.

Indeed this couldn't be going any better. Cal took a step towards her. This was really a dream coming true now. He still recalled her face on the Titanic and her anger towards him - how she had spit him into the face - telling him she'd rather be Dawson's whore.

But he too remembered how he had said to this gutter rat that he always won.

Indeed he did. Jack Dawson was no match for him after all. He, Caledon Hockley, would make sure that Rose stayed with him for the rest of her life and that she would never even utter name of this trash.

He put on the sweetest smile he could come up with, as he sat down besides his clearly confused fiancée. Rose gazed at him her eyes wide open, wondering what he would tell her, but at the same time shy and unsure.

Oh, yes, this was getting very good.

"I'm your fiancé, my darling Rose," he hugged her too and like her mother's before it was stiff und uncomfortable. "My name is Caledon Hockley, Cal for you."

She couldn't recall that name either.

"Oh my darling, I'm so pleased you're all healthy and soon you'll be full glowing once more."

At this he moved his lips towards hers and she closed her eyes in the process, not wanting to be obliged looking him in his eyes. They were so dark and…unpleasant for some reason. But he was her betrothed right? Shouldn't she have some affections towards him? Surely he only meant her well.

"Sweet pea, I can't say how cheerful I'm that you've made it through. We all thought we had lost you."

_Lost me? Why would they think that they lost me? And sweet pea what was this kind of a pet name? She didn't like it at all. _

Her confusion must've been clearly readable on her face, because Cal instantly drew back. He wanted her back with him, but he also noted that he had to be careful and take it easy with her - he didn't need to give her another reason to think that something wasn't right.

"Sweet pea, I think you should just take your rest now. Betsy will make you some tea and bring you something to eat. We'll talk later about everything."

"You're right, as usual, Mr. Hockley," Ruth stood up tapping her daughter on the shoulder. "But you call us, whenever you need anything, yes?"

Rose only nodded, happy for once that they were leaving. She closed her eyes again, lying down on the pillow, gazing up at the ceiling. Whatever was wrong with her? Well, she knew what it was - up down? They had been in an accident, obviously some very horrific one - but why was she feeling so utterly cold and lost. What was it that she was missing?

….

Jack felt someone touch his head, placing a warm fabric against his temple. His head felt like it was bursting in two and his body was heated up like an oven, while at the same time he was cold as ice.

"Cough, cough…," he got out tossing around on the bed.

"My dear boy, you need to stay still otherwise you may never fully recover," a voice told him.

Jack remembered that voice. It belonged to that first class woman on the ship, who had helped him, lent him a suit and later on a pencil so he could write a note for Rose. Rose? Why wasn't she here? He recalled seeing her in the water last, when she had let go of his hand.

Someone had pulled him into a boat later on, his clothes drenched - more dead than alive. He didn't remember much of what had happened afterwards. He had seemingly been in a very bad state, being taken here and laid down on a bed. Sometime later Molly Brown had shown up smiling brightly at him and telling the doctor and nurses that she would now take care to him.

What had happened with Rose? Was she saved too? She had to be safe; fate couldn't be so harsh to just push together and afterwards drew them apart again in such a cruel way.

"The doctor says it's a wonder that you made it, Jack," Molly tried to calm him down. "In fact you must've been in the water for quite some time. The doctor said that when they found you, you've been closer to…," she stopped herself there.

Jack really didn't need to know the whole truth. It was bad enough for him already. Molly was just glad that he had been saved and that she had found him, before…Caledon Hockley had. She had seen him downstairs, obviously looking for someone. She was sure that someone like Caledon Hockley wouldn't be think twice before getting rid of people, who supposedly stood in his way.

She liked this boy. He was so much more entertaining than all the bores in first class put together and for sure much more fit for someone like Rose. She wondered, if the girl had made it. Rose had been a rich girl and it seemed strange that she of all, shouldn't have made it. After all there really was no reason why she should've been denied excess to the lifeboats.

"Rose…," Jack suffocated out the word, clearly having trouble speaking and started coughing again. "Where…where…?" he tried to sit up, but was instantly reminded by his weak body that he was overdoing it and fell back down on the bed.

Molly placed an arm behind his back to steady him.

"Jack, you shouldn't talk. You need your rest. You've just been saved from the icy Atlantic waters and it may be weeks until you're totally convalesced. Of course I will do everything to help you in this…you can count on that."

Jack looked at her questioningly. What was she refering to? Surely she couldn't mean what he thought she did. Molly Brown was a complete stranger to him no matter what she done for him. Jack didn't think that he would be this important for her.

"You might stay with me in Denver…no let me get this straight, you will stay with me in Denver…"

Jack liked Molly Brown and was happy that she wanted to be there for him, but he didn't want to impose in her life and had never wanted to comply with other people. It was totally new to him and alien to his nature. Since being fifteen he had always been alone, save for his friend Fabrizio and his mother - as hard as this had been he had with the being progressing also convinced himself that he didn't need anyone else.

That is until he had met Rose. With her he had for the first time thought about settling down maybe. His mother had always told him how much fun having a family was, but Jack hadn't been persuaded - thinking that why on earth should he give up his travelling life for a woman, when there was so much still to be seen. Fabrizio had been much the same - two boys making fun of girls and at best admiring their beauty.

Only with Rose everything had changed. Now he could even picture himself in a small house with dozen of children and working in some office like all other fathers did. All of a sudden he felt that his mother had been right after all - being together with the person you loved was indeed the best thing that one could wish for.

"I…I can't…"

"Nonsense, boy. Of course you can. I'd love to have your company. Since my daughter married, I've only have my cats with me. I'm sure you're better with talking than they are," she laughed.

Jack tried to laugh with her at this joke, but found that his body gave way once more. Obviously he had to rely on Molly's help for now - he didn't have another choice even though he didn't like it. Molly changed the wet clothe on his forehead, wishing she could do more for him.

"Oh, Jack, just sleep, now. I'll try to find out what happened to Rose and bring her here, if I can summon her up, alright?"

"Thank…thank you…"

"You're very welcome, Jack."

At this Molly made her way outside the infirmary of the third class and went looking around for Rose. Surely the girl had to be there somewhere on the ship.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Since I forgot to do it in the last chapter - here's the disclaimer - nothing of the original characters (and storyline) belong(s) to me, but solely to James Cameron. This is true for the whole story.  
**

**Thanks for the reviews!**

* * *

Ruth was resting in another room, still trying to fully comprehend what had happened. They had just survived a horrible accident, which could easily become the most tragic nautical catastrophe involving a passenger liner ever in history. Even more important on her nerves however, was the mental condition of her daughter. Rose had never looked so worn out before not even at the time, when her father had died.

The doctor had told them that there was nothing physically wrong with her. Ruth wondered where Cal had gone and if he had been able to detect any information about this boy. Ruth still shuddered at the thought of her young and inexperienced daughter in the hands of this scoundrel. She could only hope that they hadn't done anything inappropriate already knowing how effortlessly Rose could be influenced. She had ordered a tea and biscuits already a while ago, but it didn't look like the nurse had taken her serious. For sure she was no Trudy.

When she heard a knock on the door, she sighed in relieve, believing it to be the nurse. At last she was getting her tea.

"Yes, I'm coming."

She had to answer the door herself for god's sake – something she hadn't done since she was about ten years old. It was simply outrageous. The freighter here, as Mr. Hockley had so accurately described it, was really not something she would travel on for a second time. It completely lacked even the slightest comfort.

Cal cleared his throat, waiting impatiently until finally Ruth appeared in front of him, looking at bit deranged, her hair not as neatly pined up as usual. He noted her odd stare towards him, but for once decided to ignore it. Ruth Dewitt Bukater was depended on him now, he knew it and he was going to make the best out of it. Rose had once thought she could match up with him, but he wouldn't have it anymore. What not even the sinking of the Titanic had been able to do, was now after all in order - thanks to his luck and fate.

"Mr. Hockley?" he could clearly tell that she had awaited someone else.

"I apologize for disturbing you, Ruth, as you were probably taking a nap, but…the doctor wanted me to tell you that he intends to take another look on Rose…to…ahem…to inform us about her condition," he harrumphed.

He had never seen her like this before. Ruth Dewitt Bukater was normally perfectly consoled - now she looked more like those third class women from steerage. Her fancy dress was gone and replaced by a quite simple one given to her by a woman from the Carpathia.

"Of course, I'll just put on a coat. I'll be right with you," she said to him a little bit short-tempered leaving him waiting again and also put on a fresh make-up.

She could at least try to look like a real lady on that damn freighter. If only Trudy had survived, she could've really needed her help now. Betsy couldn't be called a real maid - Mr. Hockley too had noticed her horrible look and her corset wasn't tied up very well too. Once she had rearranged her hair as best as she could for the moment, she made her way outside to follow Cal.

…

Rose gazed at the doctor, who was examining her. Outwardly it seemed that there was everything in order with her – her health was improving with each day. If only she knew anything of her past. It was so frightening.

"Now, look at me, Miss Dewitt Bukater and try not to blink," he advised her shining with her small lamp into her eyes. Afterwards he checked on her pulse and auscalted her lungs. "Now please take a deep breath…fine….great….," he instructed her "You may put on your dress now again, Miss."

"Thank you, doctor, for everything."

The doctor only smiled at her, wanting to take the pain away from her. The girl was so different from her mother and her fiancé. She even seemed to believe it was her fault what had happened here. He stared down at her body being covered in blankets and wished he could do more for her.

"Oh, it's nothing, Miss…it's my job," he looked at her sympathetically feeling somehow sorry for her. Sure unlike most of the Titanic survivors she was able to get the best treatment possible and was financially well off, but…her so-called family…they were certainly some other issue.

"Is something wrong with me, doctor? Am I still in poor health?"

_My dear...the expressions she used._ He thought he was reading some Shakespeare. Quite obviously a lady would always stay a lady.

"No, Miss, just a little weak, but if I may…I want to tell your mother and Mr. Hockley too."

"Of course, doctor," the doctor noted the hesitance in her voice. She was saying it, because she felt she had too, not because she believed in it.

"You may," the doctor opened the door for them. "We're finished with the young lady."

Just as Cal and Ruth entered the room, Rose was buttoning up the last of the fasteners on her blouse.

"Come let me help you, dear," Ruth offered sitting down beside her.

"Now, doctor, please tell us what's wrong with my fiancée? Will she be fully recovering?" Cal asked the doctor.

The doctur turned towards Cal. He couldn't stand this man. He was so double-faced and only caring for his profit. He wondered, if the young lady could this too. The woman on the other hand - though outwardly caring - was inwardly making him cringe even more.

"Of course she will, Sir. Your fiancée has a very strong physical condition. She certainly shouldn't over to it and better take more rests – sleep longer for the next week or two, but other than her still having a light cough, I don't see anything wrong with her," he explained to them.

"Thank god, honey," Ruth draw her into her another hug.

"Mother," Rose reacted reservedly, but Ruth didn't seem to care or notice. Her daughter was alive and that meant the wedding could go on - that was all that mattered for her. Ruth didn't think much of her Rose's state otherwise.

"So it'll be possible for us to continue with the wedding as planned?"

The doctor looked at Cal not believing that he had heard right. How could this man even think of a marriage now with this poor woman, who was apparantly totally distraught?

"Mr. Hockley, I don't…," he started and was for once happy, when Ruth omitted the task away from him from answering promptly.

"What about the other thing, doctor?" Ruth wanted to know earning a perplexed stare from him.

"I fear, I don't understand you, Madam."

"My daughter she…," she cried out again. "She didn't even recognize her own mother, doctor. She can't remember anything."

So this man was willing to wed this woman to whom he was now a complete stranger? It was even more disgusting than he had at first thought. What kind of man did that? Certainly no one he would like to be friends with. Cal was totally calm at all this, not showing the slightest emotion - making the doctor wonder, if he even had a soul.

"I see," he stated taking a closer look at Rose.

In fact it wasn't common for such things happening, but it wasn't totally unheard of either. There could be many reasons for a partial amnesia – like physical torture, rape – in the case of this young woman, it was most likely the stress she had endured during the sinking combined with the seeming lack of love and understanding shown towards her from her family.

The doctor took the chair besides Rose.

"Is this true, Miss. You can't recall anything?"

"No, doctor nothing. I realize now that we're on a ship and are sailing for New York, but I don't understand why I should be ill and why I'm here and…god it's so frustrating, I couldn't even remember my own name," she choked out, Ruth somehow gently tapping her on the shoulder.

"It'll be alright, honey."

"Well, Miss, we're on a rescue ship," he began.

Rose felt like he was speaking with another person. Was this really her? This girl - Rose? It was so strange and frightening not knowing anything about one's past - and having to rely on others to tell one.

"Rescue ship?"

"Yes, you were saved from the Titanic…she sank two days ago. You're lucky that you're alive, many people weren't so…," he was instantly stopped before had could tell her more.

"Fine, doctor, I think we can stop this here. I don't want my fiancée to get any more upset than she already is. She's had enough excitement for today," Cal cut him in fearing that he might mention something to ruin his plans.

Ruth was astonished too, not knowing what Cal intended.

"Just, please, doctor, tell us, how long this state will likely be going on?"

The doctor had no real purpose on spending more time than necessary with these people. This fiancé here didn't seem to very supportive or interested in her recovery – his question about the wedding being able to continue as planned – business as usual – alone proved as much.

"I've to be honest with you. I really can't tell. There're cases were the person remembered everything in a matter of a week, however, some others never did and are now living an entire different…," he stopped, when he noted Rose's shocked stare. "Don't worry, Miss, I'm sure that's not the case with you. Still everyone is different and of course it's possible that some of your past is forever lost to you," he stood up turning to Ruth and Cal. "But I trust that your family will be here for you, right?"

"Of course, doctor, we will. You'll get your memory back, dear," Ruth told her. "My poor daughter…it's so horrible."

"If you'll excuse me now, Miss, Madam, Sir…I would recommend for the young lady to get some sleep though."

"Yes, Sweet Pea, the doctor is right, you've to lie down."

His voice it was…Rose couldn't really place it, but it was far from calming her. He seemed to have a very strong mind and seemingly wasn't used to being told back. He had to have his will no matter the costs. Rose gazed at the doctor once more, who was only chuckling his shoulders.

What did he know? Maybe this was what she had wanted. Most marriage in those classes weren't consumed out of love. For sure in their world it was probably normal how this man and her mother reacted. That didn't mean though he had to find it alright.

"And don't forget to cover yourself up, properly," Ruth stood tucking her daughter into bed.

"Ruth, ahem, I would like to speak with you," Cal whispered into her ear. "Alone."

Ruth looked at him bewildered. He didn't seem concerned at all, now did he? But maybe it was just her imagination? He was probably just as scared as she was and only better at not outwardly showing it.

….

Cal somehow harshly grabbed Ruth's arm, when they had gone outside on the corridor and dragged her into another unoccupied room. He had to get this over with, before anything or anyone else could interrupt his plans.

"Mr. Hockley?"

"I'm sorry, Ruth, but we really need to talk about some things. I think its best, if we sit down here…," he told her and noting her disgusted stare he added, "I know Ruth, but it's only a few more days until we're in our own home again."

Ruth moved down beside him.

"Oh Mr. Hockley, isn't it terrible?" she was near tears again.

Her little daughter ripped of her past. What if she would never remember, if they would never be able to talk about all the things happening in her youth? What a horrible thought!

"Quite the opposite, Ruth, it's wonderful."

Ruth wanted to slap him, but held herself back.

"How can you say such a thing, Mr. Hockley?" her voice was high-pitched and aching.

"Ruth, please lower your voice, will you, yes?" he waited a second, before moving towards her.

"But she can't remember us…"

"Ssh…," he put up a finger to silence her. "Yes, I know Ruth that's bad…I agree with you, but just think about it Ruth, she not only doesn't recall anything about us, but…"

Ruth stared at him not understanding a word.

"She remembers nothing... not only you and me. She also doesn't recollect anything about someone else...," since she seemingly still didn't get it he added silently "...from the nether classes."

"Mr. Hockley, you really...?" her mouth turned into a smile.

This was brilliant. This second chance fate had offered them...it was like Easter and Christmas appearing at once. She wouldn't miss the opportunity to turn Rose into the woman she wanted to - not another time. Rose would finally be a real lady and marry well to a good man, like they had originally hoped.

"Yes, I do. We will be married as originally arranged and…," he moved even further to her. "Just think about it Ruth, if we're lucky she may never remember anything about him. Even if she does, we will already be safely married by then. We only have to make sure that she stays in her room until we get of this ship and that she doesn't come into contact with anyone, who might tell her about this boy."

"You mean like Mrs. Brown?"

"Yes, among. But why are you suddenly coming up with her of all people?"

"Because she's walking in our direction," she quickly told him.

Molly had searched the whole ship trice for a sign of Rose, but so far hadn't been able to find out anything. And no one would tell her anything! She was furious though she could understand people; they surely had something else to worry about now. Finally after what seemed like an eternity to her, her feet already hurting, she found herself upstairs again, where the so-called First Class was staying and at one of these places she saw no other than Cal and Ruth.

It looked like Ruth had been crying. Hopefully that wasn't a bad indication. She wouldn't know how to explain to Jack, if Rose hadn't made it.

"Ruth, dear," she came up to them, sitting down without asking for permission.

Ruth and Cal shared a quick look unnoticed by Molly. Ruth started to put on a show as Cal had never seen her doing before.

"Oh, Molly," she covered her head in her hands pretending to be miserable, "it's so horrible. We haven't been able to discover anything about Rose. I don't know, if she's only hiding from…and doesn't want to see us, or if she is…oh Molly," with this she threw herself into Molly's awaiting arms.

"Hush, now, Ruth, it's alright…," she tried to calm her down though asking herself how she should explain this to Jack.

He was still close to death and really didn't need any more bad news.

"Just think, Molly…she and Mr. Hockley…they were to be married," she looked up at her now, her face tearstained now – yes Ruth Dewitt Bukater indeed was a good actress. "And now she's most likely dead. She was so young Molly. She didn't deserve any of it…"

Ruth was careful not to mention anything negative about _him_ – knowing how Molly had liked him and tried to push them together. Molly on the other hand wondered if she was being told the truth. But then again would Ruth really lie to her on such an important matter? Molly wondered.

Ruth had meanwhile taken out a handkerchief and was slowly wiping away her tears. Cal staring at her, laughing inside. He never knew what a great actress Ruth really was. Mrs. Brown seemed to totally buy her show - starting to sooth her to help her overcome the loss of her daughter.

"My god, Ruth," Molly led a hand on her shoulder to console her. "I'm so sorry to hear this…if you need anything and I mean anything…you can call me any time you want…here's my card."

"Thank you, Molly."

"I've to be going though. I promised to help out in the infirmary."

Of course Molly Brown would do such a thing. She was just a vulgar woman. Ruth thanked her again as did Cal. As soon as Molly was out of sight, she threw her card into the next garbage can, smiling triumphantly. No one would come between her daughter and Mr. Hockley - certainly not that dumb woman.

"That was a close one, Ruth. I never knew how well of a performer you're. Cheers to you!" he imitated a glass.

"But it isn't over, Mr. Hockley," she warned him.

"I know, but we just need to take one step after the other. Rose will never be together with him again, Ruth – trust me, not if I can help it."

Ruth sighed, hoping that he was right. With a bit of luck Molly had bought her outburst and wouldn't bother them again. For sure sooner or later though she would find out that Ruth had lied to her…but then Rose would be save again…in their house in Philadelphia…and be Mrs. Caledon Hockley. This boy for all she cared – if he had survived at all – could just rot in hell. He had already done enough damage to their family.

Ruth only wished that all this would happen sooner than later.


	3. Chapter 3

Jack was half-sleeping, when he heard the doctor and nurse returning. His head still hurt and he figured that his fever too had increased instead of getting lower, but he was so weak that it was better to lay still and do nothing than trying to ask anyone for help.

"What do you think, doctor?"

The doctor looked down at Jack's body, covered in blankets, but still with his wet shirt and trousers on. With so many people in an even worse condition, they simply had had no more dry clothes. He gazed at Jack's wrists. He had seen the steel already earlier, when he had been carried in on a stroler, but had said nothing and pretended not to notice. But now with the nurse aside the matter was different.

"Doctor, have you…?" her eyes followed his gaze.

The doctor nodded at her.

"Yes," he answered quickly knowing exactly what she was thinking about.

The chains around the young man's wrists were very visible to anyone and it would've been no wonder that on a ship, which had openly been claimed to be a swimming hotel for millionaires - there would've been a lot of people aiming for that wealth too. In fact there had been claims of stealing reported long before the Titanic had hit the iceberg.

"Shouldn't we…I mean…what if he has done something?"

Truthfully Jack didn't look like a hard criminal and for sure wasn't in the position now to try anything – on the other hand, wasn't it their public duty to warn the captain, if there was only the slightest – however small – chance that he was bringing danger to others?

"No," he firmly answered leaving no room for an argument. "I believe to have seen enough villains in my life to know, who one is and who isn't."

The nurse wasn't really convinced, but still approved his wishes. She looked down at Jack once more trying to make up her mind of him. Maybe the doctor was right? Did he look like a criminal? But how many really did - how often was there a notice in the newspaper, where everybody said something along the lines of -_ Oh he was such a nice man. I would've never believed him capable of doing this._

Was this boy any different?

"But you could bring some hot tea and soup in case he wakes up, he may be hungry," he shouted after her as she had turned to walk away.

Jack felt the doctor touch his forehead and then he removed the cloth soaked with sweat to replace it with a dry one. His temple with still anguish and he was shaken by fever. He hadn't said anything for the past hours other than murmured the name of a woman – which the doctor couldn't understand – in between – most likely a friend of his.

"Well, young man, I do believe that you may have to stay in bed a little longer," the doctor spoke with him although not knowing, if Jack could understand him.

Jack was feeling like a whole horde of elephants was running through head and a horde of rhinoceroses storming over his body. He had understood every word that the doctor and the nurse had spoken with each other and was glad that the doctor had stood up for him. Surely Molly Brown had must've noted his handcuffs too. He wondered what she would say it and if she would believe him. After all he realized that he had no witnesses to this and that his story must sound totally strange to everybody.

Who would've believed him that a first class girl took up with him after knowing him for barely two days? Certainly no one with his right mind.

The doctor asked himself where Mrs. Brown had gone. What took her so long? Hadn't she said something of needing to find someone? Maybe the person this boy was whispering about? He was a little curious about him and died to know why anyone would've thought to imprison him. Definitely not to get any money from him as he clearly had nothing…

The nurse then came back with some tea and soup.

"Good that you're here now. I'll be going to check on some other patients, Alice," the doctor told her. "…but make sure that he eats something, when he wakes up. He does need minerals and energy."

She nodded and sat down on a chair beside Jack's bed looking at his chest rising up and down. Mrs. Brown had told them that his name was Jack Dawson. Obviously they weren't from the same class and she asked herself how they had ended up together.

"Rose…," he stuttered out once more.

She was the only thing on his mind right now. Oh please she had to be alright. Jack would really die, if she hadn't made it. She had be alive - fate couldn't be so cruel.

"Mr. Dawson, it'll be fine you see…you just have to be careful and stay calm...don't speak and waste your strength," she tried to calm him down. Touching his forehead she found that he still got high temperature.

Molly had pretended to search for Rose, but in fact just dreaded to face Jack. How should she tell him that she hadn't found her? The boy was as frail as could be and unquestionably didn't need any more disturbing news. She noticed a nurse sitting at his bedside seemingly waiting for him to open his eyes.

"Ah, Mrs. Brown…I'm glad that you returned…"

Molly thought that she heard a hint of detestation and contempt in her voice. Had she believed that she would leave Jack here for good and was astonished that she didn't?

"Maybe you could stay with him now?"

Molly nodded sitting down next to Jack, who seemed to be in a deep restless slumber once more. He looked so frail now not at all like the vibrant Jack she recalled from the Titanic. She wondered, if he would ever be the same if Rose had after all...no Molly refused to even think about it.

Of course Rose had made it. She was a survivor just like Jack. And Ruth had said to her, it didn't matter at all. Molly hadn't even mentioned one word to Jack. Rose was probably only hiding from her mother and Cal and that's why couldn't find her. Rose had no intention to be found Molly concluded.

"Here's tea and soup…make sure that he eats something later on. The doctor says it absolutely necessary that he does eat something."

"I'll see to it that he does, don't worry."

The nurse excused herself and made her way to the patient lying in the next bed. This one in fact wasn't any better - even worse. She really wondered how the White Star could've been so careless not to think about enough lifeboats and secondly why there weren't more ships nearby to come to their rescue.

"Rose…"

Molly shook her head in defeat. Jack's mind was clearly constantly on her. It would've been so wonderful, as they really made out the perfect pair. She was dying to know what had happened between them after she had lent Jack that pencil. She had seen him saying goodbye to Rose, but was sure that this hadn't been the end of it. Otherwise Rose wouldn't have run away from the lifeboat afterwards.

…..

Rose had dressed in some clean clothes brought to her by some passenger from the Carpathia. She was happy about it, but sad that she after all hadn't redeemed her memory. The doctor had been here a while ago and told her that if she wanted, she could go and take a walk on the ship – no in fact he had practically commanded her to do so – _'A stroll around in the fresh air would certainly be good for you, Miss'_ – he had said.

Rose wriggled a coat around herself in case it would be cold outside. As soon as the warm sun was shining against her however, and the wind started playing with her hair she was feeling so much more alive. Now she knew what the doctor had been talking about.

"Miss, do you need anything?" someone asked her.

She was obviously another nurse taking care of the victims.

Rose shook her head at first, but then remembered something. Since it didn't look like her mother or Cal would tell her – she'd thought that she asked this woman. It most likely even better since she was right in it and would be able to tell her things Cal and her mother wouldn't even know about.

"Oh…one thing…," Rose began.

"Yes, Miss?" the nurse turned around looking at her sympathetically.

_She is surely used to dealing with people like me. I could never be a nurse for sure. I could never bear to see people dying under my hands._

"I…," she bit her lip nervously "…I don't want to sound disrespectful…," she stammered nervously now.

It was probably not right to ask such a question. Surely her mother would've scolded her for it. Rose had already realized that her mother was strict and demanded no objection and Rose was determined to be a good and obidient daughter. Well at least for now. She could know herself now quickly this would change.

"No harm done, Miss," the nurse assured her. "What do you want to know?"

"How many people died on…?" her voice stuck in her throat knowing already that it must've been pretty much seeing all the beds standing around and doctors and nurses hushing by.

"The Titanic? Roughly thousand I think, but it…it may be even more…," she heard the nurse explaining.

Yes, she listened to the words coming out her mouth and almost wasn't able to believe it. But of course she did. The nurse had no reason to lie to her.

Rose put a hand over her mouth in shock, almost forgetting to thank her. Her face must've turned white as the nurse came over to her and led a hand on her shoulder ostensibly to comfort her.

"Is everything alright, Miss?"

"Yes, sure…don't trouble yourself with me," she choked out forcing a smile.

As the nurse walked on, Rose leant against the railing not being able to comprehend what she had just heard. So thousand or more had died…and how many had lived? She felt dizzy and moreover hatred rising up against the one responsible for this catastrophe. It was so unfair and she wished that she could something to help this poor people.

But wait in fact…

"Miss…," Rose ran after the nurse suddenly a thought coming up.

In fact she she had to do something. She couldn't bear to stand around the whole day, not after knowing what had happened.

"Yes? Do you need anything else?"

"No…I…isn't there something I could do to help?" she asked.

"Oh, Miss, don't you worry…you should rest and…"

"No, please, let me do something. I can't stand having to sit around all day. It's even more frustrating."

The nurse thought for a moment. Frankly no damage could be done, if she just talked to patients and soothed them a bit. Truthfully speaking there were so many people in need for help now especially in steerage that they were indeed happy about everybody offering a hand. This way the doctors and nurses would be able to take care of the patients in special need.

"Alright Miss, follow me…I've to look after the third class…I suppose you could feed them soup and…"

"Of course, I will," Rose's eyes lit up.

She was about to go after her, when a voice rang out and someone stopped her.

Ruth had been looking for her daughter ever since she had found her missing in her room. She already feared the worst – Rose coming across Molly Brown or that boy somehow.

"Rose, honey, where are you going?"

Rose gazed around taking in her surroundings. The nurse had disappeared by now.

"I was just…I wanted to help out," she told her mother.

Ruth simply shook her head. It seemed like she had just arrived in time. Rose meanwhile couldn't help, but feel like her mother had done this deliberately. She wondered, if her mother was always like this. She didn't want to sound ungrateful, but in a way she was feeling trapped now.

_No, Rose - she's your mother. She only wants your best._

But her own thoughts weren't very convincing.

"You've to sleep."

"But the doctor allowed me to…," Rose tried again already knowing that it would be no use.

The grip her mother had on her wouldn't break lose. Ruth put an arm around now and Rose while on one hand happy that she was here now - felt that her mother hadn't got any right or say in this. She should be able to make her own decision.

But still, it was her mother...

Rose was so confused at the moment and couldn't think straight.

"Dear, really, you need to lie down and take your time."

"But mother…"

"Not, mother, come on now…Rose…," Ruth put a hand around her daughter and practically dragged her back to her stateroom. "Betsy will bring you some tea."

Rose let herself sink down on the bed defeated. Her mother was seemingly no person to be told off that was much she was sure off. Ruth waited until Betsy returned instructing her that it was essential for Rose to be staying inside until they docked.

…

Jack had by now gotten back his consciousness and was calmly being served some hot soup by Molly, who was holding onto his still shaking hand. Jack forced a faint smile at her, but Molly knew that he was anything but joyful. He didn't look at all like the boy she had met on the Titanic.

"Look, Jack, first you come with me to Denver and…"

"I can't live without her."

Molly's heart sank just by looking at him. Poor humble Jack. She bit her lip trying to think of something to tell him something that would cheer him up.

"Jack, you know, I've bought a new cupboard and a suite before leaving for Egypt, but I didn't have time to assemble them…I could need the help of some strong man," she grinned at him, hoping he would join in.

However, Jack was just staring into space looking glass-eyed. Rose couldn't be dead. If she was indeed gone, he would die too. Molly meanwhile smiled at him wishing she could do more.

"Hey, nobody said that she was…we'll just look for her name on the survivors list. I'm sure it's there," she wanted to persuade him.

Jack remained silent. Maybe it would've been better, if he had never won those tickets. It wouldn't have cost Fabrizio's life and Rose too would surely have been safely sitting in a lifeboat during the sinking, if it wasn't for him. His gaze wandered downwards to his wrists coming to rest on the broken handcuffs. He had completely forgotten about them and was only reminded about them since the iron was much colder against his skin than the other parts of his feverish body.

"Oh, Jack, I didn't want to ask you…"

The doctor had told her about it previously, but also saying to her that it didn't think for one second that Jack should've done anything inappropriate.

"He…he…," Jack started coughing again and Molly took the empty plate out of his hands, placing it on a nearby table.

"Jack, come on, lie down and sleep, you can tell me later on, if you want…"

Jack let himself being put down being covered back into the blankets. Molly couldn't resist giving him a motherly kiss on his forehead - at what she believed to notice a smile of gratitude appearing on his face - before finding someone to free Jack of the chains.

….

Cal had been informed by Ruth how close they had been away from hitting a disaster. It was really time they arrived in New York so they could take Rose back to Philadelphia were they would be out of risk of hearing anything about Jack Dawson again.

"They'll surely do survivors lists, Mr. Hockley."

Cal wrecked his brain. Indeed, they would do this. And as weak as Jack might be now, he certainly wasn't too ill to look up her name on one. This rat had already caused them enough pain and wasn't about to let him destroy his wedding and life now.

"Oh, Mr. Hockley, I wish we would've never gotten on board that doomed ship," Ruth cursed.

"That's true, but it's too late now for that. In fact I…," he smiled at her thinking of something all of a sudden.

Yes this would work. Dawson would never be able to find her. He would make sure that he wouldn't. Rose was _his_ fiancé and would become his wife whether or not she or Dawson or anybody else liked it or not.

"Have you got an idea?"

"Yes, how about we give them your own maiden name, Ruth? Rose doesn't need to be told and I'm sure Dawson doesn't have any knowledge of it."

Ruth returned his smile. She knew that someone like Jack Dawson wouldn't be a match for Caledon Hockley, even if this one should be so stupid to try to see Rose again. Moreover in a month she and Cal would be married and then no one would be able to separate them any longer. Ruth didn't care at all, if Rose regained her memory later on - not even, if she would be thinking and ailing for this boy her whole life long - no she had to play the part. She - Ruth - hadn't loved her husband either, but with time they had reached an agreement between each other and their marriage had been successful.

Ruth had convinced herself that she same would happen with Rose and Cal.

…..

"Jack, this _nice_ man here doesn't believe me that you're innocent," Molly told him helping him to sit up straight.

She had just returned from her tour and summoned up an officer of the Carpathia. He was looking Jack up and down now in what Molly thought was a most contemptuous way. Jack, however, obviously didn't even seem to care or notice – he was undoubtedly used to receiving belittling stares from people.

How Molly hated that class differences and what they stood for! She wondered what he would've said to her, if he could've seen her as a young girl. Her parents were poor Irish settlers and her father was barely able to feed his family in his first years – it was only, when her husband later on struck gold that she became – nouveau rich. Still someone like Ruth Dewitt Bukater didn't treat her as equal. She remembered this woman at diner and what she had said to Jack – _'And you think that rootless existence appealing, yes?' _– She could've slapped her for this.

"Rose's fian…," he breathed in "…sorry…," he looked at the officer apologetic "…fiancé…he…he…put some diamond into my…my pocket…"

Jack could still picture the scene right before his eyes. The most sad thing to him had been the hurt look on her face - a look of betrayal - like she had wanted to say - _'I thought you told me to trust me and now I find out you're just like everyone else.' _

Jack didn't know what had happened afterwards and why she had decided to believe him after all - probably it had something to do with Cal. In fact she had looked very drenched later on, although she hadn't shown anything to him. But Jack knew that something more must have been going on between her and Cal and most likely her mother too. Ruth had never been much of a caring mother for anyone.

The way she had looked him up and down before dinner, her questions later on - it was proof to him that Ruth Dewitt Bukater thought of herself to something better than him and his kind. For sure she had talked Rose out of seeing him again as well. Luckily Rose had at last decided to ignore her mother's wishes.

"Oh, Jack…," Molly patted him on his shoulder seeing the pain in his eyes.

Maybe it wasn't the first time he was accused of being a thief? She could imagine how this situation must've been for him, especially with Rose in it. He surely hadn't wanted to hurt her like this. She knew of his feelings for her, he had spoken to her about Rose, while returning the suit.

_'I know that is probably wrong what we've done, Molly, but...I can't help it. I don't feel any remorse. I would do it ever again. No matter what the consequences.'_

Molly had smiled at him, knowing from this moment on that those too belonged together and that nobody would be able to break them apart - certainly not some rich jerk as Caledon Hockley or a desparate Ruth Dewitt Bukater. She had said to Jack how happy she was for Rose and him and that he shouldn't think to much about it - because if it was fate that had pushed them together, it was fate, which would keep them together.

"Can anybody confirm this? This girl – Rose – maybe?" the officer asked.

Molly gave him a look she hardly ever used, but she was so furious at the moment, it was good that no pistol or anything was lying close by. This one here really had no idea what life was like for people from Jack's background, how they had to struggle everyday to make ends meet.

_Jack and his kind made sure that we can life a in luxury._

"I…I guess…I could…," the officer stammered, before taking out a key to free Jack of the handcuffs. "I know this model…it's quite commonly used…this should do…"

Indeed it worked.

"Thaa…nks…," Jack muttered, while Molly didn't utter a word.

"I…I really didn't…steal…," Jack looked at Molly, the officer now gone.

"Of course not, Jack."

"He was so…his manservant…"

"Lovejoy?" Molly guessed seeing Jack nod weakly.

She remembered Lovejoy from the church service. He had never joined it at the table, but still had always been there right beside Cal and Rose. Molly had found him strange and creepy all along and she could imagine that Rose had had quite similar feelings towards him. She wondered now, if Cal had probably only taken him with them so that he had someone, who would be able to spy on his would-be-wife every time he couldn't.

Lovejoy had certainly been perfect for that job.

"…they handcuffed me to a pipe...somewhere down…down the ship…Rose came later…and…broke the…the chains with an axe…," at this even Jack had to smile at the remembrance.

So now Molly knew where Rose had gone after running away from the lifeboat. She didn't know what to answer to Jack, but figured that silence sometimes was better than needless talking. She sat down in her chair waiting until Jack had drifted back into another restless slumber.


	4. Chapter 4

The reporters were already anticipating the Titanic survivors anxiously to give them some inside story – the more tragic and heart-melting the better.

Cal having one arm wrapped round Rose's backside, pushed his way forward with Ruth and Betsy, the nurse they had now taken with them as new maid, following close behind. Rose felt so lost and couldn't stand the questions being hurled at her. They were all making her nervous and she moved closer to Cal in an instinct to be protected.

"Sweet pea, it's this way…come on, we're almost there," he said looking over his shoulder at Ruth. "I've ordered a cab to take us to the train. It'll surely be more comfortable for you, dear," he gave Rose a quick kiss on her cheek.

Rose grinned reluctantly. At present she only cared for her own bed and to be back in her private room. Cal smiled triumphantly, which Rose found to be kind of out of place considering what had happened a mere days before. She noticed how uneffected he and her mother were by all this.

Didn't they feel anything? Weren't they happy that they had survived? Rose noted many other people around them and it was hard to keep track of her adjacencies. Cal on the other hand seemed to know his way quite well and guided her through the hords of reporters.

"Mr. Hockley…Mr. Hockley are you and your fiancée going to tie the knot now?"

Cal stopped for a while looking at the correspondent. Obviously he had to deal with them now. He realized how pestering the press could be and he wouldn't be Caledon Hockley, if he didn't know how to make the most out of everything. They should hear it out of his own mouth, his experience of the Titanic sinking, if they wanted to. He gazed at Rose for a second and gave her a smile, which the others of course believed to be one of love and affection. Nothing had changed for him - Rose and he were engaged and they were going to be married - there was no question about it.

Rose smiled weakly back, not knowing what else to do. Part of her wanted to slap everyone in front of her for the mere that they didn't leave her alone, another told her they were only doing there job and that she shouldn't be judging them so harshly. Her mother had come to them meanwhile and stood beside Rose, wanting to hear what Cal had to say. Ruth put on a sad face for a while, seeing the reporters so close to her now. For sure she didn't want anyone to believe that she didn't really mind that it were mainly third class people, who had died - or put to it more directly - people, who wouldn't be very much missed anyway.

"Of course we're. Why wouldn't we? After having survived the Titanic, I don't intend to waste my life with waiting to marry the woman I love," he smiled at them and gave Rose another kiss to prove the seriousness of his words.

"Miss Dewitt Bukater, how did you submit to the Titanic sinking?" the question was directed against her.

Rose stared at him, praying she wouldn't break into tears, but Cal hastily stepped in to assist her. For once she appreciated his otherwise domineering nature. For all his seeming other faults Cal seemed to know exactly whenever someone needed help or was at a loss of words. He always knew what to say and was seemingly never edgy. Rose wondered how he did it. He took a look at the men in front of them and gazed them straight in the eyes - not continuing until he knew he had got everyone's attention.

"Gentlemen, please, my betrothed is totally distraught as you can see. Now, if you'll forgive us, we have a train to catch," he tightened his grip on Rose about to draw her away.

For the moment Cal thought he had given them enough information and insides to fill up their papers. They surely could make out some nice little stories with it. Rose was clearly very tired and craving for a place to rest and Ruth looked like she want to stretch the eyes out of the reporters - Cal knew her -_ I don't care a all look_ - all too well. She was close to snapping. Ruth was never relucant about her feelings for the poor and all to eager to tell everyone sarcastical comments about them, no matter what the consequences. Cal couldn't let that happen. He couldn't let her ruin his reputation just now.

"Mr. Hockley…Mr. Hockley…please…one more request," a journalist blocked his way; Cal was enraged now, but still managed to give the impression to be perfectly calm for outsiders. After all it was all about appearances.

"Fine," he was suprised about himself that he voice was still so calm, but obviously years training and pretending had paid of. He even managed to offer the one, who had asked him another smile.

"How did you survive?"

Cal was in fact astonished that this question hadn't come up before and had figured an answer to it already since the beginning of this conversation.

"Well I put my fiancée and her mother in a boat and…I was simply lucky to get into one myself," he told them serenely knowing that they would most likely write about this in tomorrow's morning newspaper. Cal knew exactly how to present himself to the world – to be looked upon as a hero.

Rose was limp and out of place. They were standing here in the middle of a crowded street, having just gotten off a rescue ship and those people here had nothing better to do, but to ask them some stupid questions. What had they thought that Cal would answer them? Some of the reporters had their heads close to her face, but Rose refused to look at them and instinctly shut her eyes - maybe she could block it all out this way. Suppose she wasn't even here.

"What do you say to the allegations that there weren't enough lifeboats and that the passengers from third class were kept locked up behind bars?"

Cal was dumbstruck for a split second. How come that they had gotten wind about this, especially about the second part? This one also brought Rose back to reality and she was wide awake again all of a sudden.

They had done what? She almost refused to believe it, but listening to the nurse on the Carpathia and her mentioning of the many dead - she knew it had to be true. She gazed up at Cal marvelling what he would say to this.

"You said one question…," he started, but gave way soon realizing that he would be without doubt quoted as arrogant, if he didn't reply "…you see for the first…I would say you've to ask the officials of the White Star Line and next…no I don't recall any kind of unfair treatment at all…towards anybody. Everybody had the same chance to survive," he smiled at the reporter a young blonde.

Rose glanced at her and then at Cal for some reason feeling awkward and uncomfortable. Was he flirting with her? Cal didn't even notice and had his attention still turned on the blonde.

Rose sighed looking back to her mother, whose expression was quite indifferent, making Rose wonder even more. Her mother certainly didn't seem to be someone, who often showed emotions. Ruth forced a smile towards her daughter. She too would like to know what was going on in her daughter's head at the moment. Was she already remembering something? Hopefully the requests of those reporters hadn't activate any things that better be hidden in the dark forever. For sure she had noted Rose's somehow strange face at the mentioning of the lock doors.

The reaction of Cal and his obvious flirting didn't do much good too. Ruth of course was no fool - she realized that Cal knew exactly what he was doing. She was prepared to disregard the fact that he was looking at another woman like he should only have glanced at his fiancée - this was simple the price they had to pay for a life in luxury. And what Ruth thought was a very small one.

_I haven't been in love with my husband either and he has cheated on me basically since the day we met. Rose will have to learn to with it and she will eventually find a way to make her marriage work. I did too._

"Can I cite you on the last, Mr. Hockley?" she asked.

"Sure of course and now please, my fiancée is tired and needs her rest…"

"Thanks for responding so nicely…!" she shouted after them making Rose feeling even queasier.

Cal of course didn't think much of it that there were people far more in need than him, Rose and Ruth for a car. He was Caledon Hockley and wouldn't travel in anything less but style. The driver was already expecting them, when they finally made it to the exit of the harbour.

"Thank you, Sir," Rose told him, when he opened the door for her.

Cal and Ruth on the other hand, didn't bother – they would never stoop so low to thank a commoner. Rose was seated between Cal and her mother and eyed him from the side.

Surely there must've been something initially that she found appealing about him, other than his outward appearance. Simply what it was, she wouldn't be able to tell at the moment. She decided to ignore this feeling for now and simply leaned back in her seat too tired to care about anything now other than a warm bed.

….

Unlike Cal, Molly had absolutely no desire to be shown in the limelight. She was only happy she had made it through and was better off than most others, who had lost everything. Jack had been given two crutches and was hobbling after her – though Molly wasn't the fastest walker.

"You'll see Jack, in a week, I'll be running after _you_," she joked pleased when she saw Jack's mouth transforming into a slight smile too.

"Mrs. Brown…Mrs. Brown…"

"I don't have any time," she growled at them ignoring their remark.

Didn't they have anything better to do than pestering innocent victims? Molly simply abandoned them and turned her attention to Jack, who was clearly out of breath. The poor boy was so brave – for sure Molly knew how much he must still be ailing – but he never once displayed it.

"Come on, Jack, let's sit down here," she dragged him to a nearby bench.

"No, really everything is…," he began coughing again at this.

His body was clearly betraying him and he looked at Molly trying to read her thoughts. He wouldn't admit it, but he was more than glad that she was here now. Molly had stopped walking - she knew she had to took some sense into that boy, realizing that Jack himself would never said it out in the open, if he had problems.

"Jack, whom do you want to fool around here? Now sit down here for a spell, while I buy us the tickets for Denver and get us something to eat. Alright?"

Jack obeyed, seeing that it was no use to argue with her.

"I know when I'm defeated. I'm going to wait here until you're back."

"That's better and might I say a very wise decision you took here," Molly grinned at him knowing how he must feel.

She made her way back through the crowds of the media. Of course the reporters were still there. Did they never know, when it was time to back away?

"Mrs. Brown…Mrs. Brown…"

Molly stopped of a second furiously turning at them, but also noting that they wouldn't give up until she told them something, as mindless as it may be. For sure they were living for these pieces of scrappy answers.

"Alright, what you want to know?"

The one reporter was soon surrounded by many more. Everybody yearned to get some responses from the famous Molly Brown. Molly had already gotten it that she was some kind of a legend now. She however, didn't care at all - everything she had done was simple out of the fact to help people in need.

"What can I do for you, ladies and gentlemen?" Molly really tried not to sound too angry.

"How did you experience the sinking?"

"How should I've?" Molly found the query entirely unsuitable. How was one supposed to _experience_ the sinking of a ship in their opinion? Did they want her to tell them how happy she was that had made it through or did they want to hear some heroic heart-wrenching story?

_If they want to hear that - I won't give them any. I'm not one of those persons to be aching for other people's grief._

The reporters looked at her, clearly having awaited a more detailed reply.

"I mean…is it true what the rumours say about the crew in charge?" one spoke up.

"What do they say?" Molly asked back.

"About the lifeboats being only half-loaded and people not being allowed to enter them…do you've anything to say to this?"

Molly was shocked. They had really forbidden people to enter the lifeboats? But then again…was it any wonder? For sure panic must have arisen, once everybody had noted that there weren't enough for everyone. She could only imagine how it must've been like for everyone being left on the ship, like poor Jack, and she was still angry with herself that she hadn't managed to persuade Hitchins to turn the boat, she had been sitting in, back.

_There is plently of room for more._

_There'll be one place less, if you don't shut that hole in your mouth._

Indeed she should've tried harder.

"All I can say is…in my lifeboat there was space for nearly sixty-five and we rowed away with about twenty…so yes I would say the rumours are true…," she confirmed.

She noticed some for the reporters whispering seemingly stunned and some even clearly upset. Where they shocked about her reply, because she had confirmed to them how that not everyone had acted like a gentlemen? Didn't they know that tragedies brought out the best or in his case - worst out of all?

"I can't tell you anything more, though. I was put in a lifeboat at the beginning and have no idea what happened later on," she continued.

"One more, Mrs. Brown…word has it that the gates between the accommodations of the third class and the rest of the ship were obviously locked to keep them from…ahem…storming the lifeboats…would you say this is a reasonable accusation?"

Several eyes were turned to Molly now and the journalists had pulled out their pencils.

"What? They imprisoned people?" she was furious.

"So it's correct?"

"I don't know, if it is," Molly told the newsperson annoyed now.

"But it could be?"

Molly thought of a while reminiscing Ruth suddenly – _'Are the boats seated according to class?' _– and undoubtedly knew the answer. Of course it could be. There was certainly more than one Ruth-type on board during the sinking.

"Yes, in fact…I do believe that this could very well have been the case. Now excuse me," she added having had enough.

The journalists parted letting Molly pass by.

….

"I'm sorry, Jack for taking so long, but I came across some reporters...well whatever I've got the tickets now and here's something to eat…and…," she told him a rush of words taking out a sandwich, which she handed to Jack. "I hope you like it."

Jack didn't really care for food now, but thanked her anyway. He hadn't realized how hungry he was in fact until Molly had mentioned it. The last time he had eaten must've been lunch before meeting up with Rose on the stern. The soup on the Carpathia later on surely couldn't be called much of a meal - Jack didn't even recall its taste.

"Oh and I completely forgot, before we leave we need to buy you some new outfits. I won't let you run around in that wrenched things for one more minute – is that clear?"

Jack simply nodded – already knowing Molly and that she wouldn't take a no.

"Now then come on…we've about two hours left…"

"And well I might need one or two dresses myself..."

"What about Rose?" Jack blurted out not wanting to sound ungrateful, but dying to know what she had found out.

Rose had to be alive.

"Oh dear, silly me…I completely forgot…here I'm babbling out all kind of nonsense and the most important one I… nevertheless I asked someone from the ticket office…they've started hanging out some lists there, near the harbour, but…"

"Is she on one?"

Seeing Jack's eyes lightening up hopefully Molly was at first very reluctant to even answer him, but knew that she had to. Jack was staring at her now and Molly noted she had to get that over with. He had a right to hear the truth.

"So far not….", she noted his eyes turning sad and quickly went on "…but Jack that doesn't mean anything, they've only begun and it may be days…probably weeks until they are done…"

Jack had by now finished his sandwich. He felt so misplaced. It wasn't the first time he had been in some kind of accident, but it had never been anything close to this. He looked up at Molly, trying to smile and to think of something else. Of course it wasn't her fault that they couldn't find her. Jack felt her place an arm around his shoulder to comfort him.

He had wanted to appear confident, but was seemingly failing miserable.

What if she really hadn't made it? After all there was a high possibility and he needed to face the facts. But still he wouldn't be Jack, if he let those dark thought cloud his mind. He had just to believe that everything would be fine with her. Rose was a surviovor just he himself. He suddenly recalled what Molly had said earlier about Denver and then rembered Rose and her family.

"If you say so…but wouldn't it be better, if we stay here in…? I mean Rose told me that she is from Philadelphia and…," he interjected.

"I know what you want to say, Jack, but I need my rest just as much as you do and moreover…," Jack noted that it was probably for the best.

If Rose was indeed on one of those lists they would find out eventually. It had been so long since Jack had slept in a real bed. Surely Molly's home was much more comfortable than the bridges or those horrible public houses Fabrizio and he had been to and which would undoubtedly be offered to the third class survivors. For some reason Jack already knew that his friend hadn't made it. He was determined however, to live life to fulliest - now even more so and to honor his dead friend's wishes.

I want to get back to my babies…"

Jack looked at her confused.

"My tomcats," she clarified both of them sharing a laugh.


	5. Chapter 5

Jack was sitting in front of Molly, who was passing the time by reading a book, while Jack was watching the countryside. For hours they had come by nothing other than bushes and trees and even more bushes and trees. Molly had bought him a new sketchbook back in New York, but Jack found that he didn't have much desire to draw – not only because of the less than favourable scenery.

"Don't be so depressed, Jack," Molly said gazing at the white sheets of paper. "Rose told me how talented you are. I'm sure you haven't lost any of it."

Jack smiled half-heartedly at her trying hard to concentrate on something other than Rose.

At this a conductor went by to control their tickets.

"Will we arrive punctually?" Molly questioned him, while showing their tickets.

"We should be in Chicago on time, Madam," he answered clapping his hat.

"I hope we're…we'd like to change trains for Denver there, you know," Molly enlightened him. "By the way we've some luggage…could you please arrange for someone to help us?"

Molly knew it would be less stressful this way – she surely couldn't let Jack carry the bags, he of course would've done so without any backtalk. He seemed to finally recover and she didn't want to risk anything.

"Of course, it'll be no problem."

"Good day, Madam…Sir…," he nodded towards Jack, who blankly gazed back at him. He wasn't used to people actually treating him politely.

Molly put her book aside touching Jack's arm lightly to get his attention. He must've been miles away with his thoughts.

"That's something else for a change, right Jack?"

"It sure is," he grinned having temporarily forgotten about his sadness "…I've never travelled like this. It's fantastic…it's…I don't even know how to describe it…though the view could be better…," he laughed at little.

"You know it's also great, when you can sleep soundly and not having your things stolen the next day."

"Happened to you?"

"From time to time…but they never got much," he grinned at her specifying without words to her what he was trying to tell her remembering Fabrizio and what he had told him – _'When you got nothing, you got nothing to lose.'_

Jack had never thought much of train travel before. What counted more where the towns he had visited, not the way he got there and third class really couldn't be called comfortable - for sure the people he had met had made up for many troubles. Only the Titanic had been one exception of few, when it came to coziness. Once Fabrizio and he had her whole luggage stolen, including their tickets and they had barely made it outside without running into conductor. Fortunately these times seemed to be over now.

"I see," she smiled back.

Molly squeezed his hand, giving him a reassuring glance. Jack certainly deserved this trip more than anyone else. He was so enjoyable – moreover a person of integrity and much more worthy of leading a good and quiet life than Caledon Hockley, who was only looking out for the profit. Jack's eyes had lit up like those of a child on its first journey, no wonder Rose had been so eager for his friendship.

Molly couldn't even imagine what Jack's sparkling personality had done to the reserved and melancholic Rose. The girl had been completely different, when being around Jack - this could be seen already on the day, when Rose had introduced them to each other before the first class dinner.

"It's good seeing you cheerful again," Molly said.

Jack leant back in his chair.

"I still think that we should've stayed in New York," his voice was drifting off. "I mean…if we only had been able find out something about her…before we left…"

"Don't worry, Jack…everything will be fine in the end. You and Rose…you two belong together and I firmly believe that everything and everyone made for each other eventually _will_ be together…"

"Maybe you're correct."

"Of course I'm…I'm the unsinkable Molly Brown…," she laughed at the remembrance of the name the papers had given her and at once recalled what they had asked her. Jack must know the truth. "Some reporters mentioned to me that the gates were being locked…Jack…can you believe…?" the expression on his face gave her all the information she needed. "My god…so they actually did…what horrible disgusting men they are…"

"They were…," Jack revised her "…they are most likely dead now as well."

"I'm just glad we got out of there alive. Aren't…?" her voice drifted off, when she detected that Jack wasn't listening anymore.

"Yeah…I'm too…," he answered silently clearly not wanting to engage himself into one more conversation about the Titanic.

By now he also knew that Fabrizio, Tommy and that girl, Cora hadn't made it. So many people lost due to profit and speed. But what use now to ponder on it any longer? What's done was done. Jack had never been one to reflect much on the past.

Molly was about to reply – moving on to a different topic, when another family entered the waggon.

"Can I sit, here, daddy?" the girl asked indicating to the place besides Jack. She didn't even await a response causing Jack to shift closer to the window – a grin appearing on Molly's face – was he being uncomfortable or maybe nervous?

Jack Dawson being embarrassed was something new to her, especially when thinking of the dinner on Titanic and how easily he had won over those rich jerks.

"Eugenie, please," the woman said sitting down near Molly giving her and Jack an apologetic look.

The father finally took the seat next to his daughter.

"I'm so excited, Mum, it's the first time I'll be in Chicago," Eugenie spoke up in a rush of words. "Have you ever been there, Sir?"

It took Jack some time before he realized that she had been talking to him.

"Yes, many times in fact…"

"Is it really such a big and dynamic city as they say?" her excitement could clearly be heard in her voice.

Jack asked himself how old she would be - surely not more than Rose, probably even younger.

"Quite yes, Miss," Jack told her.

He had been there twice and still reminisced the restaurants, bars and nightclubs and though not being able to see much of them, due to his lack of money he had made some good friends there, who had acted as guides.

Maybe now with Molly he would finally be capable of visiting museums there too, his artistic nature certainly ached for it. There were so many things he had yet to lay his eyes on.

Molly had moved back in her seat and put the book over her face pretending to be reading – in reality she was laughing her head off. Jack Dawson being at a loss of words wasn't something you got to see every day.

"You're an artist?" she wanted to know noticing the portfolio in his hands.

"Kind of…," he mumbled.

"Oh I love them. Artists I mean, they're so funny. I want to be become one famous as well," she noted her mother giving her a look and stopped herself.

Jack forced a smile wondering if she had any idea how many of them actually resided. She would probably change her mind, if she knew that many of them were starving to death alive. After all there was only so much need in the world for a Picasso or Monet. Even his own father, while of course being amazed by his son's ability, hadn't deemed it a suitable profession.

"My father is a trader you know, Sir? He'll be working in Chicago and I'll be visiting the school there. I've heard it's a really good one; I'll also be staying in a girls boarding school…that's perhaps the only thing I don't like…," she giggled at the last.

"Eugenie!" her mother scolded her.

"Sorry…do you know the schools in Chicago…?" she went on.

"No."

"Oh…," she seemed to be disappointed. "But I'm sure they are good. Have you…?" she started once more, but was stopped by her father this time.

"Eugenie, dear, stop now…this gentleman here surely isn't interested in your prattle," her father said an apologetic look towards Jack on his face. "I'm sorry, Sir."

"No problem," Jack wouldn't admit it, but the talk with this girl had made him forgot temporarily about his worries and he found himself to be actually grateful for her outspokenness.

This was something one rarely saw in young women these days and it was certainly refreshing.

"My name is Mr. Hays by the way and these are wife and daughter. Whom you I have the pleasure of speaking to?"

Jack was still astonished at how first class people formed up their sentences. He was about to reply, when they were interrupted by a shrill voice.

"Special edition! Special edition! Brand new reports about the Titanic disaster! Everything there is to know – told by survivors!" a young boy called out.

"Dad, please, can I buy…?"

"It's your money."

"Oh, dear, please, not that yet again. I really don't get the agitation regarding this ship. The only tragedy here is the death of innocent people. The papers really shouldn't be making cash out of their misfortune. It's disgraceful."

Molly nodded silently to herself – truer words had never been spoken.

Eugenie didn't listen to her mother and nevertheless purchased the newspaper, hurriedly searching for interesting stories inside. She didn't give much on what her mother had said being a young and girl and lifing for gossip.

"Oh, he's so handsome," she suddenly commented on one article.

Jack rolled his eyes, secretly grinning. He was concentrating on the trees once more, but still half-listened to her babbling.

"Who, dear?" Mrs. Hays asked.

"Caledon Hockley…"

At this Molly and Jack shared a fleeting glance. If only she knew.

"I'd give everything to meet him personally. I bet he's also a good talker…and just see his eyes, down deep and mysterious they are..."

Jack had to smile at this, remembering what Rose had whispering to him about the men and the masters of the universe. He was sure that Eugenie here wouldn't like Caledon Hockley and his speeches. But on the other hand – he couldn't disagree with her – he was a good talker, only that what came out of his mouth was mostly nonsense or tiresome or both. And for sure he couldn't forget those hateful eyes as well.

"Eugenie, he's engaged," her mother warned her. "It's not ladylike to adore a betrothed man."

Even if Mrs. Hays was scolding her daughter, she did it with such love in her voice that Jack was assured she would never have sold her daughter off to the highest bidder unlike Rose's mother.

"She doesn't even look happy in the picture," she began and was stunned, when Molly all of a sudden snapped the tabloid out of her hands. Eugenie had believed her to be sleeping.

"Let me see."

_Mr. Hockley and his fiancée Rose Dewitt Bukater to wed_

_Our correspondent got the first interview with them after their survival of Titanic – by Matthew Weingartner_

_We're both glad that we've gotten out alive and feel sorry for everybody dying – said Mr. Hockley. His fiancée, who wore a perfectly sewn silky dress – added how much she was now looking forward to the wedding. _

_Since we never know what we can expect tomorrow…after we got out of there alive we're absolutely sure that we want to spend the rest of our lives together – Miss Dewitt Bukater told us – and they shared a little kiss at this._

_Mr. Hockley also said that he was certain everybody had a fair chance of survival – There were no class differences any longer – he clarified for us._

_Underneath was a picture of Rose and Cal. Rose was showing her engagement ring._

Molly skipped the rest of the story. She couldn't believe it. Such rubbish in an article of about three paragraphs…She instantly recalled Ruth now and her act on the Carpathia. _'We haven't found her yet….oh Molly what if she hasn't made it?' _That witch! That…With the newspaper still in one hand she hammered with her other fist on the table.

"That snake in the grass!" she exclaimed startling everyone most of all Jack, who instantly snapped out of his daydream.

"Something wrong, Molly?"

"She told me how she believed that her daughter died and how miserable she was and now…"

"Who?" he asked confused.

"Ruth Dewitt Bukater of course…here read," she passed Jack the report, before nudging Mrs. Hays at her sleeve. "May I…I've to speak with…"

"Of course…," the other one said moving aside.

Molly made her way hastily back to where the train conductor had gone. They needed tickets to Philadelphia. When she returned she noticed how the Hays-family was looking at her.

"Jack, what…?"

"You're Molly Brown, the unsinkable Mrs. Brown," Eugenie shouted out. "I recognize you now. I knew I had seen your face beforehand."

"Please excuse my daughter," her mother said "Dear, really…"

"Oh, it's no problem at all…," Molly sat down again. "I've arranged the tour back to…well I'm sure you understand, Jack," she stated knowing he would figure it out.

"And you know this Miss Dewitt Bukater too?" Eugenie wanted to know not caring about the stare she received from her mother.

"A little bit, yes…"

"And Mr. Hockley…is he in reality as handsome as he is in on photographs?"

Molly had to smile slightly.

"Eugenie!"

"Sorry, Mum…," she shrank back in her seat.

"I think it's quite enough now," Mrs. Hays told her off once more.

"Eugenie, Georgina, I believe it's time for lunch anyway," Mr. Hays spoke up and the family excused themselves.

"It was nice meeting you, Mrs. Brown and you too, Sir."

"Eugenie!"

"Coming, mother…," she yelled a little bit unnerved.

She couldn't resist however, to still grin back at Jack and wave a hand at him. For sure he was attractive too.

…

"I can't believe it. Why did she say that?" Jack wondered once they had left his voice sounding between annoyed, angry and sad.

"What are you talking about?"

"Rose…how can she say those things…like she's happy she's marrying him…I thought that our relationship meant something to her…"

Molly grabbed his hand again to calm him down. Truly he had gotten a point here. It was kind of strange however. Why Rose had been so reluctant to getting married on the Titanic much less to Cal and now…could it be that the sinking had changed her personality and way of thinking in such a drastic way?

Was this even possible? Molly knew that people did alter, especially when having experienced heartfelt situations, but this one seemed too much, even for her. Rose had been so reluctant to marry - whatever should've made her change her mind so soon?

"Jack, I'm sure there's a sensible explanation. We just go back to Philadelphia and asked her. It can't be that she's suddenly lost her heart to Caledon Hockley," she patted him on the shoulder.

"She doesn't look very unhappy to me either," Jack said gazing at the picture.

"Jack, really…you're being unfair…Rose had probably had to smile and you…you have met Mr. Hockley and know what a man he his…he most likely threatened her not to tell anything less than pleasing…"

"God, Molly, sure you're right…I just…I can't believe it…that's all…of course I would never consider that she's happy about it…I'm only confused that's all…I love her so much and I can't wait to hold her in my arms again."

Jack closed his eyes for moment wishing he would be somewhere else - with Rose. He just hoped that Cal hadn't done anything to her so far. He knew of his temper and what he capable of doing. He still recalled how he had been shooting at them.

_I hope you enjoy your time together._

Really, what kind of person did that - to his own fiancée and moreover knowing that the ship would sink in any event?

_Certainly no one I would come to trust or like._

He shuddered at the very thought of Rose being with _him_ and left to his mercy. Jack couldn't wait to get to Philadelphia and help Rose once and for all to escape from her old miserable life.

"That's perfectly understandable, Jack. Without doubt Rose is looking forward to be back in your arms too."

…

"What should I've done, Ruth? The interview was booked months ahead. And the press you know how importunate they are…especially Mr. Weingartner and his persistence...I didn't want to make a bad impression. Also we both knew that we couldn't hide her from the rest of the world forever…"

Ruth stared at him. Of course it was true. The good thing was that they had made it to Philadelphia safely without running into Molly Brown again. This woman was so impertinent and it was clear she would've run up to Rose immediately and told her everything the moment she would've seen her. Ruth hated people like her, who never, when it time to leave - no wonder her and that boy had gotten on so well together.

"Nothing to worry about…I've planned out everything…remember what the doctor on the Carpathia said?"

"But he also told us that she might get her memory back with time."

Caledon Hockley would never to nervous or edgy. He was past that. Anxiousness was for weak people and he for sure wasn't.

"If it only occurs after we're married than all will be fine and…now if it takes place before…," he smiled that evil grin of his "I certainly will not be made a laughingstock of for a second time."

Rose meanwhile had gone up to her room looking at some albums, which were showing her father, mother and herself. She wondered where her father was now and why he wasn't living with them.

Had he left the family?

She had heard of people where this had happened, just lately in a paper, she had been reading about it on the Carpathia. Did her father have a mistress too? Maybe this was why her mother was always so cold and distant? This famous millionaire John Jacob Astor he had even married his lover and this other man – Mr. Guggenheim had obviously brought his mistress with him on the Titanic.

Rose found that disgusting. She could never marry such a man, much less be friends with one.

"I only ever marry for love," she spoke out aloud to herself not realizing that her mother was standing in the doorway.

"Sure, honey, that's why you'll marry, Mr. Hockley. Remember how you told me lately…oh I'm sorry…," Ruth spoke up.

Rose gazed at her mother, aware of her mother's presence now. Ruth took a closer step towards her daughter. She had listened to her talking and was determined to make the most out of it.

"I did?" Rose wanted to know. She was totally relying now on the information Ruth and Cal provided for her. They were her mother and fiancé and Rose thought that for this reason alone, they would never lie to her.

Ruth sat down on the edge of the bed near Rose putting an arm around her.

"Yes, you told me how you couldn't wait to become Mrs. Hockley before we left for Europe…," at Rose's stare she continued. "We made a voyage around France and Italy before sailing back on the Titanic. Mr. Hockley's father had paid for it as part of a pre-wedding present…"

"Cal is very nice, mother. He must love me very much."

"Yes, he does, dear," Ruth patted her on the shoulder. "I see you've looked at some old albums…"

In fact Ruth wasn't very pleased with it. She didn't want Rose to remember anything _false_ before she was wedded to Cal. Their money was gone and there was no other way out for them. Ruth Dewitt Bukater would definitely never work like a common woman from the streets and she would at no time allow her daughter to do so either.

"Mother, can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"When does daddy come back? I've noticed several pictures of him with me…we must be really close..."

For once Ruth was at a loss of words and her expression went black. She was shocked that she hadn't thought of this before. Rose had worshipped her father very much and she hated having to tell her that he was gone.

"Is something wrong?"

"Oh Rose, dear…I'm sorry, but…your father is dead. He passed away around two years ago already. I really wish I could spare you…," she tried to tell her this as easily for her as possible.

Rose had had so much to endure already, thanks to that good-for-nothing steerage boy, she didn't need anything more to worry about.

"No, it's fine…," Rose told her relatively composed. "I should've fathomed it myself. After all he's been on no photograph in this last album."

"You're really alright?" Ruth asked again not being so sure.

"Yes, of course, you don't need to worry about me," Rose grinned at her though inside she was feeling completely empty. It was so hard not recalling anything about one's history and then to begin with finding out that your father had died.

"Alright, fine, I'm going to tell the cook to make you something to eat. Mr. Hockley will be out tonight meeting some business partner…"

"You won't dine with me?" Rose sounded distressed, but Ruth didn't seem to notice - either this or didn't want to.

The truth was that after Mr. Dewitt Bukater's death they had hardly ever eaten together other than with guests around - that hadn't been so much Ruth's wish, but her daughters. Rose had hated lunch with her mother and had constantly thought out an excuse. With time Ruth had complied to it; in fact also finding it less stressful to eat alone than with her hard to control daughter.

But of course Ruth couldn't tell her this at the moment. Rose wouldn't be able to understand this just yet. She look at Rose wondering what she was thinking. Rose had never been very open about her feelings at least on to her - she had mostly played up the obidient daughter in front of everyone and frankly Ruth had really believed that she was - until the incidents on the Titanic that it.

"I already had something, dear and to tell you the truth I'm quite tired. The events of the last weeks took a toll on me you know," Ruth told her.

Ruth gave her daughter a kiss on her forehead in an attempt to tell her that everything would be alright.

Rose faked a smile reassuring her mother again that everything was okay with her. When Ruth had left however, she couldn't take it anymore falling down on the bed and burying her face in her hands she at last let the tears fall freely down her cheeks.


	6. Chapter 6

The Dewitt Bukater house was located at the Lombard Street and built up in Neo-Baroque-stile. It was two stories high – a big garden being placed around it. Usually once a week a horticulturist would come to trim the bushes or plant new flowers. The architect clearly had had the symmetrical arrangements of Versailles in mind, when building up the estate – fountains and stone sculptures of various divinities included.

Jack climbed over the fence careful not to be impaled on its top. As he finally made it to the other side, he landed on Artemis and for a second gazed in amazement at the perfectly conjured figurine – the artist had even thought about making an authentic Hellenic bow and arrows.

"Woah," Jack got out it awe.

Although he thought that the designer had carried it a bit too far – he had to admit that the one planning this knew what he had been doing. But now he got no time for all this. Maybe he could come again with Rose once and really look at everything? He would surely love to capture everything on paper - the best with Rose sitting in the middle of the sculptures.

Molly had been reluctant to let him ago alone in the middle of night, but Jack had been determined. He wouldn't wait another day to help his Rose as he was sure that she must already be waiting for him impatiently since the day they had been separated in the icy water.

Once Jack was standing in front of the house, he wondered for a while what he should do next. He couldn't very well just knock on the door and ask if a Rose Dewitt Bukater lived here – by the way luckily Molly had known her full name – as Jack wouldn't have been able to write it correctly – and found out her address for him.

In the meantime Rose couldn't bring herself to close her eyes. Her mother and Betsy had been here two times each, insisting on her to finally go to bed – obviously not having been very successful as Rose was still up looking through the photo albums. This one was dated from 1906 to 1909 and displayed a lot of pictures of Rose and her father.

They must've been really close – them going to the park, visiting the Zoo, Rose being plashed by an elephant and giggling at her father being stolen his hat by some jester monkey – them having fun taking a picnic.

"If only I could remember," Rose heaved a sigh putting the album aside – yearning. Taking a glance at the clock she saw that it was already past two a.m and was tired all of a sudden. Not caring to dress up into her nightgown she closed her eyes and was in a deep slumber within minutes.

Jack was placing one foot after the other, careful not to lose his balance by making a false step. Indeed a ladder would've been useful now – he should've thought about this as he finally reached the first floor – coming to a halt on the window ledge. Peeking inside it looked like some normal study – so no Rose here.

"Maybe I should've considered Molly's offer after all," he said to himself with one hand grabbing the edge of the half-open window while looking down to the ground. Luckily he was free from giddiness. "I just hope that everything will go as planned and no one – like for instance Hockley will interrupt us," he glanced up again placing both hands back on the wall. "Now here we go. I'm coming Rose."

Jack needn't to have worried about Cal, as he was out anyway and neither Ruth, who was sleeping soundly with cotton in her ears. No – difficulties would arise from a totally different side – coming from someone that Jack would've never taken into consideration.

Up at the second floor one window was fortunately wide open and Jack wasted no time in taking a glimpse inside, deciding at last to climb through it into the room. If she wasn't in this one, he just had to look up the next.

Rose had pulled the sheets over her head to shut out the light from the moon outside.

Jack grinned happily as he noticed a flash of red hair coming in sight from out underneath the blankets and the statue of the body was hers as well – Jack would never mistake that figure. He took a few steps closer to the bed, careful not to make too much noise – he had no intention to wake up Cal or Ruth.

Rose stirred under the sheets. She wasn't sleeping very well, mostly because as much as she tried she couldn't bring herself to recall anything and it was driving her mad. She was tossing and turning around, when she noted someone was touching her back. At first believing it to be her imagination, she just got out a loud groan.

"Rose…," Jack placed his other hand on her head stroking her hair.

God, she was so beautiful, even more dazzling than he remembered. He couldn't wait for them to be together forever, to visit all the places they had talked about with each other – to start a family with her? Yes, even that.

"Rose, wake up…it's me…"

Rose moved around to the other side, Jack temporally removing his hand on her backside, but it was quickly there again, stroking up and down her body. Rose was waking up, turning around once more and – suddenly realizing that she wasn't alone anymore.

Someone had gotten inside.

"Ah!" she screamed opening her eyes in shock and terror staring at the person in front of her.

This of course didn't escape Jack, who was astonished for a moment, but soon figured that it was just the jolt of seeing him alive again. She certainly must've thought him gone – he should've been more amicable to this.

"Oh, Rose…," he quickly placed his arms around her back again hugging her close and was now really surprised, when she struggled out of his embrace, looking up at him – _frightened_?

Why would she be scared of him? He would never do anything bad to her, surely she must know that. Nothing could've prepared him however, off what was about to follow.

"Please, if you want my jewellery or…something...I swear I don't know the code for the safe," she told him.

Jack stared at her even more stunned now. Why would he want her trinkets? Whatever was wrong here? He couldn't have helped, but noticed how her body had cringed at the hug. This wasn't the Rose he remembered.

"Rose, you don't have to be scared of me, you know that," he slightly touched her shoulder again in an attempt to comfort her – she pushed it away once more, drawing back to the wall and folding her arms in defence in front of her body.

Why would she do that?

"Who are you?" she muttered clearly afraid.

Who would think of visiting her in the middle of the night, even more so in such an extraordinary way? Though on second glance the man didn't appear so dangerous anymore to her, one couldn't be suspicious enough these days.

Suddenly it dawned on Jack and everything came back at once – the article in the newspaper, the photograph, the smile on her face – the supposed happiness about her marriage – her talk about how eager she was to become Cal's wife – everything made sense now, even her shocked eyes – Rose had no idea, who he was.

But how? What had happened? Was Hockley responsible for this? If so that bastard would pay for it. Jack would make sure that he never had a happy day again in his life.

"Rose, it's me...Jack. Don't you remember?" he asked her only receiving a shaking of her head.

"Please, Sir…I don't…if you want anything…you can get it, just please don't do anything to me…," she begged him.

Jack was completely taken aback, a hand flying up to his forehead. This was a dream, right? He just wondered why he hadn't woken up already. Rose was looking at him now - her eyes reflection her confusion. At least she seemed to have recovered from the first shock of seeing him.

"My god, you really don't remember…," he spoke up more to himself than to her.

"No, I…I lost my memory, Sir. I didn't even know my own name…until my mother and my fiancé told me. But please, Sir, you've to go now..."

"You're afraid of me?" he half stated and half asked.

"Yes…no…I mean…I'm…confused that's all...but whoever you're I'm spoken for and…whatever relationship we had together in the past…it just…it can't be anymore…," she told him hastily touching his arm lightly with her hand to emphasize the point that she wasn't scared anymore.

'_Jack, I'm engaged…I'm marrying Cal…I love Cal.'_

She had lied back then and she was probably lying now about her wish to marry _him_ in that tabloid, but this time it was something else. The old Rose had been switched with some unknown girl with an altered personality and seemingly no past at all.

"Alright, I'm going," he finally managed to utter his heart breaking slightly.

Rose was staring at him again oblivious to his thoughts. For her he was surely no more than some strange guy - no one to be thinking about twice. Jack meanwhile wondered what he would do, if her state proved to be permanent. How should he be able to deal with that?

"I won't mention our encounter to anyone, I promise," Rose reassured him putting her hand on his, but Jack couldn't care less about this at the moment. His heart was ripped in two and while climbing back down, he didn't even notice the split ends of the fence anymore, until he really was almost stabbed by one.

….

"You mean she didn't even recognize _you_?" Molly was stunned of what she had just been told.

Jack was looking so helpless now, his shoulders slammed down in defeat. For all things Molly could've come up as explanation this one certainly hadn't been on her list.

"No, nothing…she told me that she couldn't recall her own name, Molly. Isn't that horrible?" his face showed her just how hurt he was.

Molly came up behind Jack to the couch, where he had sat down, placing a hand of comfort, wanting to ease his distress. Jack was such fine young man and Rose such a nice young lady. Why on earth did fate have to put them through so much? Why couldn't they be happy like any other normal pair in love.

"That look on her face, Molly…she was afraid and terrified…of me," he glanced at her his eyes watering, the last word spoken in a bare whisper. "I would never do any harm to her…," his voice cracked at this.

"I know that Jack and I'm sure deep down inside of her mind she knows it too…"

"But she doesn't know…"

"Oh Jack, but if she doesn't reminisce anything that means that she also doesn't remember anything about Caledon Hockley…," Molly began wanting to tell him someting specific.

"I'm pretty sure, he's already reminded her of his presence, Molly," Jack cut her in.

"No, that's not what I meant. I was talking about…it may be that _her_ personality changed somehow, but surely…surely not _his_…"

"You…?" Jack stared at her in wonder.

"It can't be that Rose doesn't sooner or later see him for what he really is. People like Caledon Hockley never change, Jack…believe me….he's going to lose her the second time due to his behaviour just like he lost her the first time…and you…you've won her heart over once," she smiled at him. "…who says that you can't do it all over again?"

Jack thought for a while, before returning the grin. Indeed she was right. Rose would be his in the end – as they simply belonged together. No one would ever be able to change that fact - not in the long run. Caledon Hockley would mess it up with her once more thanks to - well thanks to being Caledon Hockley.

"Just be sure, Jack to act fast and to…to not…have any scruples in this battle against Mr. Hockley…," she warned him "…you know that he won't have any concerning you."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N - About the plays/characters mentioned in this chapter: **

**Dido - Ancient Queen of Carthage - after the fall of Troy she met Aeneas (who was one of the few Trojans to escape the city, before the capture of the Greeks) and fell in love with him. When he left her (to sail on to Rome) she committed suicide by jumping into the Mediterranean Sea.**

**Mary - Duchess of York - wife of George V. - later Queen of Great Britain (grandmother to the current Queen Elizabeth II.)**

**Alexandra - Princess of Wales/later Queen (was known for her famous beauty throughout Europe - mother of George V.)**

**Mary Pickford - silent film movie star **

**Isadora Duncan - dancer (notable her death in 1927 made it in the top ten by many accounts - while driving a car she was strangled by her scarf.)**

**...**

**Cyrano de Bergerac - play by Edmond Rostand (first performed in 1897 in Paris) - Cyrano is a cadet and in love with the beautiful Roxanne, but he has a long big nose and believes he hasn't got any chance with her. Indeed Roxanne is totally in love with Christian (another cadet) - Cyrano helps him and writes poems, which Christian tell Roxanne (her believing it's Christian writing them) - later on Christian dies in battle. In the end Roxanne finds out the truth, because Cyrano is reciting a poem by heart without reading it. He dies too at the end being killed on the street - having made many enemies due to his difficult nature.**

**A doll's house - play by Henrik Ibsen (first staged in 1879 in Copenhagen) - follows the marriage of Nora and Torvald Helmer. To help her husband she forges a signature (to get money) - when he finds out he's angry, but then forgives her - thinking that everything is forgotten now. But Nora can't stand his hypocrisy - realizing that his status and reputation always meant more to him than anything else. In the end she leaves him and her family to finally live her own life.  
**

**...**

**Thanks for favourity/reviewing this story. You know I love reviews (hint hint :-)**

* * *

Through looking – or better spying – around her daughter's room, Ruth had discovered Rose's diary, which she had frequently used after be given it by her father on the occasion of the 14th birthday.

"What's this?" Cal wanted to know stepping out of his study.

Both had sent Rose away for the time being, telling her she should go shopping with Betsy, because they were worried she might run out of suitable clothes and secondly so she could have some fun and maybe forget her situation for a while. In reality they simply wanted her out of the house in order to be able to look through her things and eventually get rid of them, if they should prove a threat to their plans.

Nothing that could give her any hint of her past should ever fall back in her hands. She wanted to erase all nonsense Rose had ever come up with. She had been given another chance to turn her daughter in the perfect debutante and wife and she was sure not to waste it this time.

"Her dairy…"

"Rose's?"

Ruth gave a nod of her head. It had only been barely covered by some clothes.

"I'm just relieved that I found it before she did. We wouldn't want her to read about any one of us, now would we?" Ruth took out a lighter from the desk "I'm going to burn it…"

"No, wait…," Cal snapped it out of her hands before she could do so thinking of something "…her dairy so…that's great…brilliant…"

Ruth stared at him like he has lost his mind. Cal was sometimes really careless. Whatever would happen, if Rose found out about it?

"Just think about it, Ruth…her diary…_her_ _memoir_…it's like we struck gold. This little book here tells us all we need to know about our dearest little Rose…her life…her inner feelings…her opinion about us…everything that we could never ask her…even if she hadn't lost her memory…"

"My god, you're right…," she hadn't thought about this. "Mr. Hockley, you're brilliant..."

Cal smirked at her holding the diary up in his hands. He would finally get to know everything about that puzzling fiancée of his. Rose's mind would no longer to hidden from him and he would eventually have some advantage to use against this gutter rat.

"I'm going to read through this now and tell you later on."

….

The diary started with the 7th of June 1909.

_Dear diary – today I finally got to begin with writing some something down. Today's the birthday of Daphne and a party at her house._

Cal supposed that this Daphne was a childhood friend of Rose. He had never given much thought to her friends, finding them all dull.

Cal skipped a few pages which were mainly filled with Rose's life in Philadelphia – boring girly stuff about where she liked to spent time with her friends and such. He continued later on by the time her father's illness had reached her family life.

_Oct/20__th__/1909 – Daddy's illness has gotten worse – mother says it might take some time until he may recover – don't know, if she's telling the truth _

_Oct/23__rd__/1909 – Heard mother crying and talking to the doctor – about dad? Sadly couldn't make out much._

_Nov/1__st__/1909 – Father is dying! There's no denying it anymore – even mother can't. Daddy coughed blood today (peeked through the keyhole) – he has gotten thin and bony (he looks like a galley slave) _

Cal wondered where she had gotten that expression from – most likely from one of those silly books she was always reading.

_Nov/8__th__/1909 – Now mother did finally tell me the truth and allowed me to visit daddy – to – to say goodbye – I tried not to cry, while talking to him – but diary it was so hard_ – Rose seemingly wasn't very successful following her own demands as this page quite obviously had tear stained – _he made be promise to live my life like I wanted to do and not to like mother or anyone else did – I told him that I wanted to become an actress (I had spoken to anyone about my wish, because I thought everyone would mock me) – daddy didn't, he said that I could become anything, if I just worked hard enough – well I might as well try…_

So now Cal knew where her crazy ideas had originated from and who had backed them up. Cal – though realizing that it was probably immoral to do so – found that he in fact was happy her father had was already dead. He could very well visualise Mr. Dewitt Bukater standing up for the low trash Dawson. Now – god forbid…

He once more skipped a few pages as he really wasn't he in the mood to be reading about a funeral.

_Jan/2__nd__/1910 – Noticed some of my things gone, but mother pretended not to know – when mother is feeling better (she's also ailing since daddy's passing) I will try to ask her to permit me visiting some academy (university would be best) – but I dare not hope…_

_Jan/14__th__/1910 – Finished reading the Ilia and Odyssey – don't understand that stupid Dido – ending her life like this…will certainly never do this…__for no man…_

The last three words were double-underlined, but Cal didn't pay much attention to this entry as he wasn't able to place it into any context – like Jack would've been. February was filled more stuff disappearing.

_March/3__rd__/1910 – Of course mother said no – oh diary I'm so miserable…_

Cal assumed that she was referring to her university plans here. Only two weeks later everything seemed to have changed for the better for Rose.

_March/17__th__/1910 – Yes! Yes! Yes! Mother got a social call from her friend today – Lady Lucille Duff Gordon – she's a designer (even makes garments for the Duchess of York – now in fact the Princess of Wales, but I always think of Alexandra, when hearing this title!) – thought her quite eccentric, but diary…she talked mother into allowing me to take up some courses at university (had of course spoken to her beforehand) – I'll be studying Art in Harvard – what would Mr. Picasso would think? – Doesn't matter, I couldn't be happier!_

The page was decorated with hearts and flowers, which Cal found totally ridiculous. A woman studying – how absurd…

_Aug/4th/1910 – At last decided about what courses to subscribe to – wanted also to take part in the stage play, but mother wouldn't permit it._

_Oct/4__th__/1910 – First day, but I fear I'm not as talented as my fellow students – they don't take me serious – especially the men and the women only look around for a nice guy to meet – saying goes the Arts are only the way into poverty for men and into marriage for women (it's called the marriage‑institute between the latter)_

Obviously Rose hadn't found that funny.

_Nov/8__th__/1910 – It's official now – I haven't got any artistic gift! Well I presume the Dewitt Bukaters are not actually known for that – had courses about architecture of the Middle Ages today – must admit it was really really boring – would so much more like to perform on stage – ah like Mary Pickford and Isadora Duncan (she's my idol!)_

Cal laughed slightly to himself, retaining that information for later. He had known that Rose had loved the arts, but he had never had any idea just how far ahead she had actually taken it.

_Nov/29__th__/1910 – Mother is furious with me as I took part in the rehearsal for the annual stage play, which will be held before the Christmas Holidays – they're playing Cyrano de Bergerac – would've played the minor role of Roxanne's maid, but still it would've been great – alas it's not to be as mother discovered and now they've already replaced me._

_Dec/25__th__/1910 – Got some awesome presents – cousin Veronica got a son, naming him William (pah what a tiresome name – will definitively give my children more notable ones – have decided on Roxanne and Nora (after Ibsen's heroine – luckily mother doesn't know about everyone of by books – she would get a nosebleed again – but Nora was so brave and poor, as was the other) – I will certainly never marry anyone, who's as dominant and ignorant to my needs as Torvald!_

So Cal memorized it again – Isadora Duncan yes, but Henrik Ibsen – No. He wondered what other dangerous books she had looked through.

But the best or worst – whatever way you look at it – was yet to come – Rose and him meeting. It had been at a ball in early 1911. He was eager to know what she had to write about their first acquaintance.

_Feb/10__th__/1911 – Danced the whole last night with a handsome gentleman from the business college. His name is Caledon Hockley (unusual, but I like it as it's certainly memorable)._

_March/9__th__/1911 – Mother has nothing against me going out with Cal (yes we're calling each other by our first names now, of course with mother's approval) – Trudy will act as chaperone (but I know she will be far far away…- she's more a good friend than a governess to me)_

Once again she had drawn hearts – this time around his name.

_March/10__th__/1911 – Cal is wonderful and attentive and he is reading out my eyes. He took me to a play yesterday (he knows how much I love the theatre) and then we went dancing again (oh, he's great – a much better dancer than I am, but as a gentleman he said nothing about me constantly tripping him on his feet – though I'm sure it must've hurt him.)_

That's for sure – Cal still remembered these dances.

_March/20__th__/1911 – Met with Cal's parents – his father seems nice, his mother a little cold (but I guess still alright) – they too approve of our relationship – also told Daphne about Cal, but she was appearantly quite annoyed and doesn't seem to like Cal very much (I think she's just jealous, because she has no one on her own). Daphne is a real tomboy and even allowed to go out in the sun without taking a parasol._

So no Ibsen, no Daphne!

_April/3__rd__/1911 – Oh diary I don't know what to say – Cal asked my hand in marriage – yes, really – in proposed to me – I requested some time to reconsider everything from Cal and I do hope he understands._

_April/10__th__/1911 – Mother took me aside and told me of our desperate situation. I didn't even know that this house was mortgaged to the hilt as well. It's so terrible. I've no other choice, but to accept. I can't let us live under the bridge (as mother always refers to being poor) – I'm so afraid._

Cal was speechless and angry. So far Ruth had never mentioned a word about her debts. He felt betrayed. So Rose hadn't said yes to his proposal out of devotion for him, but simply out of duty. Moreover she had taken out the whole lot from their relationship until she had gotten everything and then she had just thrown him away, replacing him with a gutter rat.

Ruth wasn't any better. They had both lied to him.

_May/14__th__/1911 – Has Cal's attitude changed? He's been looking at me so strange, when I wanted to engage myself into a conversation about politics and has silently hissed at me that this wouldn't be a suitable topic for a woman._

_July/6__th__/1911 – Cal took me through a tour around his home in Pittsburgh – it's really impressive, but diary – he was so, I don't know how to voice it – intrusive – tried to kiss me several times (but of course I told him that this couldn't be until after we are married)_

Cal was furious at reading about her supposed Virgin Mary attitude. He was sure that she and Dawson had done much more than just kissing and holding hands. Rose Dewitt Bukater was such a damn little whore wanting to pose for a saint. He could've chucked up.

_Aug/28__th__/1911 – both mother and Cal think that it's better for me to stop with my studies and instead prepare for the wedding (doing monograms and those bridal stuff) – tried to call Daphne, but she didn't answer her phone (I think she doesn't want to speak with me and was renouncing herself) – oh diary what am I to do?_

So, it looked like Rose had burnt it with Daphne – perhaps lectured her about the latter's unladylike behaviour – ha! What a joke! Coming from Rose of all people…

_Sept/6__th__/1911 – I finally gave up and will leave the university. It's no use anyway. Cal, mother and I went to a trip north to New York. I would've liked to explore the city, but mother never left me out of her eyesight and Cal has no time for me at all – he's always doing business._

Now Cal really didn't know what she wanted. Hadn't she been complaining before about him too bossy and her hating domineering men? Now what?

_Nov/4th/1911 – Diary! He did it! He hit me, I can still feel the blow. I want to cry, but no tears came out. I'm so shocked. Mother wanted to hear nothing about it and only reminded me of our debts._

_Nov/29__th__/1911 – Cal's mother died! While I'm sorry for him and his father and don't wish them any bad – I find myself happy, because now the wedding surely has to be postponed. _

Indeed it had to be. The wedding was originally to be held in March. If everything would've had happened as planned they would be married now and the Dawson episode would've never occurred. Cal wasn't angry with his mother of course, but Rose…and Ruth…they were both a different matter.

_Dec/25__th__/1911 – My first Christmas as betrothed and my last as an independent person! Oh dear – Cal has turned into one of those horrible men, I've always detested. Cal = Torvald? I = Nora? _

Cal found that she took it to the extreme here. She made it sound like he was some atrocious monster. Cal once more left out several of the entries, until he had come to last one.

_March/15__th__/1911 – Cal really thinks he can buy my love. He bought us tickets for a journey through Europe starting tomorrow. If only daddy would still be alive, he would've talked me out of accepting that ill-fated engagement. Sometimes I wonder – since mother is so fond of him – why she doesn't marry Cal. They would make a great pair._

By now the hearts around his name had turned into pirate skulls. Oh Rose and her dramatic ways yet again! His betrothed really knew it in her and he realized how that her outrageous behaviour hadn't only begun on the Titanic. It had been there all along - Jack Dawson had simply awakened something inside her.

Now it was up to him to put a stop to it once again.

On March 16th they had eventually begun their voyage.

Cal closed the journal angrily slamming it into the edge to the room and got up to pour himself a brandy.


	8. Chapter 8

"Have you bought yourself something nice, dear?" Ruth asked her daughter once she and Betsy had returned from their shopping trip.

"Yes – very nice," Rose took out one of the dresses "…here see this lilac one. Isn't it lovely?" she giggled at bit as she placed it in front of herself looking into the mirror – pirouetting around.

"Yes, honey, very sweet," Ruth answered diplomatically, in reality finding the garment awful – a horrible one for someone of Rose's status – it was more fitting for a middle class woman – much too tasteless with its deep cutaway for a woman like her daughter. Obviously Rose hadn't lost everything of her memory. Her poor selection of fabrics and shades had remained.

_Rose had decided on lavender – I can't stand that colour._

Ruth doubted that she had wanted to anger her now, but she needed to make some things clear for her. Rose couldn't run around like this. Her daughter had to finally realize that she was a grown-up and act accordingly. She wouldn't let her family name being ruined.

"Oh, Rose, you should keep your hair tide up or at least pin it behind your ears – you're a betrothed woman now, soon to be married – it's not proper wearing your hair like this," Ruth came up behind her to sort out her strains. "I've to talk to Betsy about this as well. You clearly need some help in this."

For some reason Rose found her mother too overbearing. She had only lost her remembrance – right? It wasn't like she was suddenly ten years younger and needed to be treated like a child again. But maybe that was what her life was like before too? Maybe she had once like it before? Rose glanced at her mother.

"So now it's better…"

For some reason her mother was lookng very vulnerable at the moment and Rose believed that she needed to convince her that it wasn't her fault of what had happened.

"Thanks, Mum," she turned around unexpectedly hugging and kissing her mother on her cheek.

Ruth was stunned as the old Rose had never exposed such emotion towards her – not since her father's death anyway and before this it wasn't much different. Their relationship had been more like those of a teacher and his pupil than of mother and daughter. Ruth couldn't remember a time, when Rose had actually called her _mum_.

She didn't know if she should lecture her daughter now for the impropriety of her behaviour or feel honoured about it. In the end she did nothing, but simply smiled at her daughter.

Rose seemed to be pleased and seemingly hadn't noticed her mother's distress.

"Is Cal here? I wanted to show him my purchases…"

"Oh, honey, I fear he's out once more. You know he and his father have some well-known business going on…," Ruth explained seeing the light leaving her daughter's eyes.

She was clearly frustrated. Ruth couldn't even blame her. While she was still hoping that Rose might never recall anything about Jack Dawson, on the other hand she felt sorry for her daughter – it must be hard to spend life as one's own anonymous existence. Rose certainly didn't deserve this.

"I thought that Cal and I…I've no idea…I only assumed that with the wedding only a month away we would…he would like to spend every minute with me…so that we could get to know each other better...," Rose told her mother silently.

Ruth gave her daughter a kiss on her forehead. She had to talk to Cal about this one later on. He needed to be there for her daughter some more - surely he wouldn't want to be replaced once again. Hopefully dinner would be easier today.

And of course she was dying to hear everything about that ominous diary.

"Madam," Betsy came into the room "I do apologize for disturbing you, but Mr. Hockley just called mentioning that he and the elder Mr. Hockley will be out longer than expected and that you and the young Miss Dewitt Bukater shouldn't wait for them with diner."

"It's alright, Betsy, you may leave."

Rose had her head turned down, clearly totally aggrieved. Her fiancée for sure liked everything better than to spend time with her.

"Cal loves you, dear. I'm sure of it and he just wants your best."

Rose forced a smile, so much wanting to believe her mother.

…

When Rose got up to her room she immediately observed a stone lying on the floor, attached to it was a paper. Rose could think of more useful ways to contact a person, but nevertheless bent down to pick it up.

_Sorry for terrifying you lately – I hope you give me a chance to make it up to you. If you have time – 4 pm in front of the Thomas Jefferson University – will wait for you – Jack_

Jack – that was the man, who had visited her last night. He seemed to have known about her quite well. She realized it was inappropriate to simply consider it, but still her curiosity got the best of her. In any case how it looked like now Cal wouldn't be here for diner either, so there was no need to feel guilty about going out too.

_And maybe – who knows – this Jack could shed some light into the darkness surrounding her_ – Rose thought as she put on a simpler dress and took out a coat from her closet. The university wasn't that far away – no need to take a cab.

Her mother was instructing some servants on a little and didn't even realize that Rose was leaving the house.

Jack was indeed waiting for her, like he had said he would, his mouth forming into a grin the second his saw her. He took a few steps down reaching for her hand.

"I'm glad you could come, Rose."

"Miss Dewitt Bukater for you, Sir," she corrected him on the spot. "After all we've only just met and I don't think it would be accurate to be so informal with each other."

Jack instantly took a step back, his smile dying down instantly, feeling awkward and sad all at once. This was certainly not the way he had dreamed of them meeting again. Her voice had been so cold and distant - as was her whole expression. This wasn't _his_ Rose anymore.

"Whatever you want, Miss," he managed to get out startled about himself that his mouth was even able to form out sensible words.

"By the way you got a last name too, Sir?" she asked him.

"It's Dawson, Miss."

"So, Mr. Dawson…"

For a while they were walking side by side both putting their hands behind their backs with no one really knowing what to tell the other - Jack, because he didn't want to drop another brick and Rose since she had only just met him and didn't want to sound too forwarded - something she had already noted wasn't suitable.

"Can I ask you something?" Rose after all broke the silence.

"Of course, Miss."

"I hope you don't find me too…too impolite, but…as you may remember I lost my memory and…"

Jack decided to stop her babbling though yet amazed at her ladylike manners. If only she would recall something of her other nature as well.

"What do you want to know?" he cut her in looking her straight in the eyes.

Both had come to an immediate halt.

"How did we become acquainted with each other?" Rose was suddenly very confident.

While it was a simple question that Jack had known would arise sooner or later, the answer to it wasn't as easy. On first thought Jack really didn't want to lie to her as well, being sure she had been told enough falsehoods already by her mother and that fiancé of hers, but on the other hand – could he really tell her that she had wanted to end her life before meeting him?

He didn't want to shock her. Rose looked at him awaiting an answer, wondering at little what took him so long. Was it this bad? Jack searched her eyes - did he want to tell her something? But what?

"You wanted me to draw you," he felt bad for telling her another untruth, but still thought it better considering the circumstances.

"Ah, that's great. I guess I've always been interested in the arts. I mean I think I must've been. Did my fiancé instruct you to make a portrait of me?"

"No, you did…to…to surprise him," Jack told her knowing how this must sound to her.

For sure he left out the part where she had asked him to draw her naked with nothing but a blue diamond on and that the surprise was only to anger Cal. She didn't need to know everything – at least not now.

"So you're an artist, Mr. Dawson?" Rose wanted to know.

Jack wasn't really in the mood to talk about himself at the moment so he only mumbled a _yes._ How come that a person could be so close to someone and thus far away? Jack gazed at Rose, who had sat down on a park bench by now and was taking of her hat, afterwards sticking out the pins from her hair.

"Mother put them in a little roughly…," she began, before placing them back into her hair. Jack was amazed at her sudden calmness. _I guess some things never alter._ "Are you making money out of your artistic skills?"

Tommy had asked him the same on the Titanic the second before he had first led eyes on Rose.

"My artistic skills? Who tells you that I've some, Miss? You haven't seen one picture made by me," Jack interjected sitting beside her.

This time Rose didn't move away. She was clearly much more comfortable now than she had been only minutes ago. Probably not all hope was lost.

"Well you must've," she smiled at him "Otherwise I would've never chosen you. You know between Cal and me – I'm the one who's actually got the taste."

Without realizing it Rose had finally remembered something.

Jack meanwhile was sitting on pins and needles. There, just next to him, sat the woman he loved more than anything else in the world and to whom he would give his life for – and now he didn't even know how to address her properly.

"Are you alright, Sir?" he heard Rose asking him.

Jack's head shot up to look at her, forcing a smile. She was so different from the Rose he had known on the Titanic. Her mother must be really proud of her now with her hat, her parasol and her gloves to protect her from the sun. She was everything Ruth Dewitt Bukater could want and certainly glad about it.

He doubted however, that Rose was happy too. She was smiling outwardly, but inside Jack knew she must be fighting the hardest battle possible.

"Yes, sure," he stammered though feeling anything but content. "Don't worry about me."

For a quick moment Rose became silent, thinking that she had…but she soon rejected that thought as being ridiculous. Outwardly she had to admit that he wasn't unattractive, but there was something about his personality that made her wonder where they had actually really met. He didn't seem to have been part of her inner circles.

"Miss?"

"Yes?"

"Is everything alright with _you_?"

Rose gazed at him. How did he do it? How did he know that she had been thinking about something else even though she had not taken her eyes away from him for one second? Had he noticed her inner turmoil too maybe?

"Why do you ask?" she wondered wanting to sound sanguine.

"Because you seemed to be miles away, Miss."

Rose turned her glance away from him not being able to look him in his eyes any longer – there was something in them that she found – dangerous and yet exiting. Cal was never looking at her like this, but this man here – Jack – he wasn't simply gazing at her, his eyes were looking into her soul.

She marvelled about the question how long they had known each other, but didn't feel that it was the right time now to ask him. Jack seemed to know her well and maybe...no she couldn't meet with him once more. Cal was her fiancé and she had to be honest with herself - she and this man here - it could never be.

"I was only thinking…," she mumbled picking up a flower from the ground smelling its scent. "It's beautiful…"

_Not as beautiful as you._

"Can I ask you something else?" she turned her head to him again seeing him nod. "What does my fiancé…how do you two get along with each other?"

"Do you realize how hard it was to climb up to your window?" Jack answered with another question making her laugh again.

_At least that's something Cal doesn't manage so easily._

Such a weird situation she had found herself in.

"So he doesn't like you?"

"That's very bluntly put, but yes I do believe it would be much better, if you don't mention a word about our meeting today not to him and neither to your mother."

"I see…," she smiled at him. "You're a strange character, you know that Mr. Dawson. My mother would surely get a nosebleed, if she knew of our appointment. You know her well-mannered daughter going out alone with some mysterious man from the streets and that a month before her wedding. Not very ladylike I guess."

"But you did come," Jack stopped, when he felt her hand on his.

"Yes, I did…," she spoke up silently - wanting to tell him more, but noted she couldn't.

"Why?"

"I suppose I was just curious, Mr. Dawson."

"About me?" he questioned her uneasily his lips quivering.

"No about us," she lifted up his chin. "I understand you didn't tell me everything…," Jack gulped slightly at her knowledge "…but I was determined to get something out from you. I thought that maybe _you_ could shed some light into my surrounding darkness."

"And did I succeed, Miss?"

"A little bit, yes…but I do believe we've to arrange another meeting…that is, if you want to?"

Of course Jack wanted to and how much he wanted it. He was just careful not to sound too effusive in case her feelings for him had somehow changed after all. He didn't want to scare her away. Rose had find out the truth for herself and she would eventually. They simply needed more time.

"If you do, Miss…"

"Oh I'd love to…just let me consider it for a while...ah yes I know, since we both seem to be interested in the arts why don't we go and visit a museum? You know the Philadelphian Art Museum?"

Jack nodded. He wanted to kiss her so badly and tell her that everything would be fine. Rose had to know she wasn't alone in this - he would always be there for her and assist her.

"Fine then would tomorrow be alright, 4 pm as today?" she suggested.

Of course it was alright with him. Whatever his Rose wished she would get it.

"Perfect…I'll be waiting for you."

She was smiling once more as she was running back towards her home.

Jack stood there watching until Rose's figure had disappeared from his view. So far everything seemed to have gone well. Rose still had that fire inside her at the moment she just didn't know a way how to ignite it. But he would certainly help her to find out.

….

"Rose, honey, where have you been?" her mother startled her, when Rose got home, who had completely forgotten about her and Cal for the moment.

Jack Dawson really was something different. For once she had been able to - now to be herself. It was strange but with him she didn't need to pretend. Should she tell her mother about him? No. He would be her secret. Rose didn't think that her mother would look kindly on him.

"Out, I needed some fresh air," she answered as she handed Betsy her coat, hat and parasol, who put them back in the closet.

"Alone?" Ruth asked, pondering if there was something else behind the story.

"Why yes of course. Or do you think I've some lover hidden under my bed?"

It was supposed to be funny and she was stunned. when her mother didn't join into her laugh. Instead Ruth looked up at her scandalized. Her mother really sometimes had no humor - Rose figured this had to change.

"Oh, mother, that was a joke. You simply think too much. After all I'm a betrothed woman, aren't I?" she came up to Ruth hugging her slightly.

Ruth stiffened once the embrace was broken up again. She didn't like the look Rose was giving her, but thought that for the moment she had no reason not to believe her. Rose was grinning at her now seemingly to make her understand that there was nothing to trouble herself with.

"Sure…just tell Cal or me next time you go out, will you? I was very worried about you," Ruth told her concernedly this time.

Rose nodded though already knowing that she would've to break her promise. Surprisingly for her it didn't feel wrong at all. There was something about this whole situation that wasn't really right and she was determined to find out what it was.


	9. Chapter 9

**Information for you:  
**

**Kristiania was the name of the Norwegian capital Oslo until 1924. **

**Roald Amundsen (1872-1928) was the discoverer of the South Pole. The other one his rival the British Robert Falcon Scott died there in early 1912, but his body wasn't found until December that same year.**

**Marie-Adelaide de Nassau, Grand Duchess of Luxembourg was born in 1894, reigned from 1912 to 1919 and died later on as a nun in a convent in 1924.**

**Molly's cats are all named after famous linguists. The real Margaret Brown was very interested in languages and learned among them French, German and Russian, so I thought that the names might fit in.  
**

**Jakob Grimm (1785-1863) wrote the first German language dictionary, which included for the first time a system and derivation of the words.**

**Jean-Francois Champollion (1790-1832) was the discoverer of the famous Rosette-stone and decoded the Hieroglyphs.**

**John Russell Bartlett (1805-1886) was a historian and wrote a dictionary about Americanisms.**

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews.**

* * *

"Come on, kitty kitty kitty…," Molly tried to get out one of her cats from behind the sofa.

The cat was just moving further away from her, making a loud shriek and biting Molly slightly, when she finally did catch him and took away the food from him.

"Hey, that's enough, Bartlett – you're getting fatter and fatter by the day," she lectured him, giving him a small tap, while was he angrily snorting. "The doctor already said that you need to be put on a diet."

It was true, this one, was eating too much. Molly had to see the doctor again and ask him about this. She loved this one and didn't want him to die early, because of fatty degeneration of the heart or the likes.

Another one of them was just purring outside, while Bartlett had made his way to his sleeping place.

"That's Champollion, Jack please get him inside. He's returned from his nightly amours."

"What?" Jack asked perplexed.

He had a dog once, when his parents were still alive and recalled how much it had been to take him for a walk. Of course in Chippewa Falls having pets was something else than here in a big city. Jack had been totally devasted, when his friend had died and had vowed to himself that he would never again get one.

Now he wasn't so sure anymore, if Rose wanted something - whatever it was - he would purchase it for her.

"He has got some friends outside, if you know what I mean and I assume there're already some little kittens too. He's quite a Casanova."

Jack shook his head, laughing slightly as he opened the door for Champollion, who really looked like someone, who had just had a very very good night. If only his own life would be this easy going as well. He certainly envied this one a little bit. Champollion strolled to his bed and was asleep within seconds.

_It must've been a very big adventure._

"How was your meeting with Rose by the way?" Molly wanted to know once the cats were taken care of.

Jack had been gone for quite a while so Molly assumed that it been going very well. The lights were on already on the streets and Molly closed the curtain as she waited for an answer.

"Nice."

"Only nice?" she wondered.

Jack seemed to be hiding something, only Molly couldn't picture at the moment what it could be. He was so different now, from one she had once met. His appearance - thought outwardly still the same - didn't give away the same bright extravagance she rembered.

_Please, Jack, you're the boy, who charmed John Jacob Astor - the richest man on the ship. You're the one, who was able to turn a heartbroken girl into a life-affirming young woman. Please, don't let this one get you down now._

"Well it was…different. I mean it's not easy for her," he told Molly.

It was really good not having to worry about food and a place to sleep anymore. Still he felt useless at times and wasn't used to doing nothing all day. Some procedure was in the works outside - Jack being ever so edgy, went over to window to look at it. It was some musician playing an unknown tune. Molly had mentioned that this was one of the way people here collected money. It was half-legal, because no one really knew how much there earned and therefore the state wasn't able to tax them correctly.

Jack found the melody quite commanding, if not to say nerve-racking.

"It's a shame that most of them can't play at all," Molly commented seemingly having read his thoughts.

"I wonder, if Rose would've liked it. I mean now with everyting going on around her...she certainly could need some distraction," Jack sighed glad the musicians had passed by.

"I can imagine. But you did tell her the truth?"

"Kind off."

"What do you mean – kind off?" Molly grabbed his shoulder turning him around "Didn't you mention a word about your relationship," Molly looked him into his eyes. "Oh, Jack, really, how you actually plan to win her back, if you're not honest with her?"

Jack made his way into the kitchen as he was kind of hungry now and placed the food on the table in front of him. Molly followed ahead, not at all getting Jack's mindset. Whatever was he thinking?

"I couldn't be truthful with her, Molly."

"Might I ask why?" she asked him taking the seat next to him.

"She wanted to know how we met," he took a sip from the tea "…and well I just…I couldn't tell her."

"You couldn't tell her that she was slipping over the railing while looking at the propellers?"

Molly found Jack's whole attitude very difficult to understand. She he thought that she first thing he would be doing was to run over to Rose, get her out of the house and claim her as his own. Not only Rose seemed to have changed completely, Jack obviously had too.

Truth be told, it wasn't pleasant to find out that one was so clumsy, but Molly could think of some tougher things to hear. At least with Jack telling her, Rose would've been surely able to laugh about it.

Sometimes she really didn't recognize the behaviour of young people nowadays.

"No, I couldn't tell her that…," Jack prevented himself from continuing remembering that he had once sworn to Rose never to utter a word to anybody about it.

Rose had been very adament about it and Jack knowing how it was for everybody to earn her trust, wasn't about to lose it now. Of all he knew Molly might tell Rose something or even Ruth or...however, unlikely this idea was, he didnt want to risk anything.

"What, Jack?"

"Nothing," he said standing up, leaving Molly wondering. "I'm going out. I need time to think."

"But Jack, have you looked outside. It's cold and raining…"

"I'm not made out of sugar," he simply replied.

Molly shook her head. How strange people acted, when being in love. Jack didn't even think of taking a coat with him.

"Jack, what about your...remember your pneu...," she shouted after him, but didn't receive an answer.

_I just hope that he knows what he's doing._

"What about the food?"

He had left everything standing on the table. How strange young people were acting these days. The last one of her cats – Grimm – jumped up on the table to put the knife back in order.

"Hey, careful," Molly laughed – seeing Champollion sleeping. "That womanizer," she smiled.

….

"Mr. Weingartner, I'm so glad you could arrange this meeting. It is really a pleasure," Cal faked a smile holding his hand out.

"The pleasure it entirely on my side, Mr. Hockley and I must admit that I couldn't wait to see that lovely fiancée of yours again."

Rose didn't engage herself in the conversation, thinking about Jack proved to be much more interesting. She hoped that he wouldn't be too angry with her for not keeping her promise to meet him today, but Cal had only told her an hour before that they would be having a quest. With the elder Mr. Hockley being there too, she simply couldn't just leave. She owed it to her betrothed to stay and portray the perfect housewife.

"How do you like the oeuvres?"

"They're delicious, Mrs. Dewitt Bukater."

"So tell us, Mr. Weingartner, what can we expect next from the most prominent journalist of Philadelphia?"

"I'm not sure, if I'm this popular, Mr. Hockley," he said towards Cal "…but to answer your question my redactor wants me to travel to Europe to make an inside story about the new Grand Duchess of Luxembourg."

Mr. Weingartner was appearantly working for the _Philadelphian Gazette_ as their star-correspondent. Rose was slightly envies of him - if only she would be a man too, she'd be able to travel and see all these wonderful places he was speaking about. She recalled him from the engagement interview - Cal hadn't seemed very pleased that it was him recording it. Rose wouldn't know why, she found Mr. Weingartner nice and agreeable and would've loved to ask him some more question about his job.

Possible he could get her mind off of her worries? But as she realized that Cal would find this shocking - she would just continue to sit there decoratively and listen to her mother's drudging babble.

"I didn't even know they were a monarchy," Ruth laughed up.

Rose found her mother's acting over the top. Why would anymore deliberatly wanted to be seen as an idiot? Did women have to belittle themselves every time they were talking to men about certain topics? Why wasn't a woman supposed to know something about the ongoing processes in the world?

"Mrs. Dewitt Bukater has never been interested into politics," Cal explained.

"Not a very appropriate theme for women at all, if you asked me," his father added. "So how's she doing, the Grand Duchess I mean."

That's it, yes - Rose smiled her anger burning up inside of her. They would never take her for full - now would they? Nathan, certainly did not. The old man seemed to be totally in his element, smiling warmly at her at this very second.

Did they have a good relationship?

"Young…very young…she isn't even eighteen and has inherited the throne just about two months ago. It's not exactly the most fascinating subject I can think of, but I'm nonetheless going to enjoy the journey to Europe."

"A woman made a leader – what a jest," Cal commented.

Rose, who hadn't been paying any attention to their conversation on the outside, felt the need to defend her gender. Enough was enough even for her. No one should be allowed to talk like this about other persons and narrowing them simply because they were women.

"I still think that Queen Victoria was better than King George IV," she spoke up being immediately told off by her mother, who glared at her.

"Rose, whatever has gotten into you?" she hissed at her daughter. "Please excuse my daughter, Mr. Weingartner. She doesn't know what she's saying."

"Quite the contrary Mrs. Dewitt Bukater, your daughter has the wonderful gift of truthfulness – very rare these days and very delightful that this," he nodded towards Rose "Miss!" he took his glass "To the truthfulness!"

Cal, Nathan and Ruth though angry felt committed to join in to this toast. Mr. Weingartner grinned sympathetically at Rose.

_I could imagine that being engage to him would be much different from Cal._

Cal vowed to himself however, that he needed to speak with Rose about certain matters and to remind her that he wouldn't tolerate this performance from her in public. Ruth too was staring at her daughter, thinking of a way to get her on her right mind again.

….

"I really can't stand this family, Mrs. Brown. They're all so phoney and tiresome," he laughed. "Save for Mr. Hockley's fiancée Miss Dewitt Bukater. She's such a sweet girl indeed and I always wonder what she sees in him."

_Well I do too._

"I guess we will never know, Mr. Weingartner," Molly said as if she didn't know "…here have another cookie."

"Your servants are also better cooks."

"I made them myself."

"In this case they're extraordinaire."

"You flatter me, Mr. Weingartner. But now tell me what's going on in the world. I read your article about the Hockley wedding it was really good."

Molly surely was a great hostess. Her parties in Chicago had been legendary. Still she never lost focus on her main purpose. Mr. Weingartner was currently the most prominent journalist in Philadelphia - he had to know something. He had already noticed the incompatibitily between Rose and Mr. Hockley - surely the rest would be easy.

"If you think so…I don't like to write about that society stuff. At the end of the day all these well-to-does are normal people with normal problems just like us."

"Well said, Mr. Weingartner."

He then told her about the Luxembourg request.

"So you're not going to do it?"

"Of course I will, but then I will travel on to Kristiania and make an interview with that Norwegian Amundsen. You'll see Mrs. Brown one day I'm even going to publish my own newspaper."

"I'm sure you will. Everyone has started slow right. Even the Hockleys."

Molly though having originally invited him to find out, if he knew anything about the engagement and the marriage, still felt sorry for everyone having to endure Cal and his family. And this one here was her friend so it counted double.

"Might be…but unlike them, I intend to do it with legal methods."

Molly's head shot up.

"Are you suggesting that…?"

"No, never, they're a decent family, aren't they?"

Both shared a laugh, when the door suddenly opened, Jack coming back from his nightly walk. Molly wasn't very happy with this, but she hadn't been able to talk him out of it.

"Mr. Weingartner, I'd like you to meet Mr. Dawson. He's been of some assistance to me and is how living here with me. He's really good with the arts."

Jack shook hands with him. Mr. Weingartner must only be slightly older than himself. Just his name – it sounded familiar, but Jack simply couldn't place it at the moment.

"Mr. Weingartner here wrote a remarkable article about the wedding of the months...of Mr. Caledon Hockley."

That rang the bell on Jack's memory. This was the guy, whose name he had read above the newspaper article.

"I'm sure not about the remarkableness, Mrs. Brown, but I did my best. It's sometimes hard to please my editor. Mr. Hockley is a too important society figure to be ignored however. You know him as well, Mr. Dawson?"

"A little bit, yes."

"And his betrothed?"

"Yes, her too."

"She's very beautiful isn't she?" Weingartner laughed at himself.

"I don't think Mr. Hockley would like your talking," Molly held up a finger as if warning him of something.

"That's for sure, Mrs. Brown. She's very headstrong as well…I particulary like that at women…better than one who's always following ahead."

_Do you think that he's done something bad to her – hit her maybe?_ Jack wanted to ask him, but didn't know how. This Mr. Weingartner was nevertheless a stranger, even if he was supposedly Molly's friend.

The other one meanwhile wondered, if he should tell them about the incident with Rose and Queen Victoria. It was clear to him that this girl and her fiancée didn't have much in common - how she was mostly playing a role for her environment. Rose had something more to offer to the world, just with this family she would accomplish to anything.

"I do get the impression, Mrs. Brown that you invited me slowly to pump information about Mr. Hockley out of me."

"Why, what do think of me? I called you, because you're a good colleague of mine."

"You've always been a bad liar, Mrs. Brown, but I forgive you. Cheers!" he raised his glass at this and Molly quickly followed.

"Cheers!"

Molly continued to request some further evidence about Rose careful not to sound too prying. When they were told that Rose had looked a bit far away and sad, Jack was getting slightly depressed himself. He wanted nothing more, but to see Rose happy, even if it wasn't with him.

It didn't look like the Hockley's were doing her any good however.

"So her mother is still as distantly as ever? I met her briefly on the Titanic you know."

Mr. Weingartner nodded. He would think that those two hadn't gotten along very well with each other.

"She is. Ruth Dewitt Bukater is the epitome of an antique statue, always perfectly dressed and that…like her daughter is. I only wonder if that's the life the young woman is longing for."

Jack bit his lips at this, marvelling if he should've been honest with her after all.

"In fact it's even like she's hiding something not just from the outside world, but from herself as well."

Jack and Molly shared a look at this. If only he knew.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Thanks Guests for the reviews!**

* * *

The car came to a halt in front of the Bellevue Stratford Hotel and the driver instantly got out opening the door for Cal, who then went over to assist Rose. As soon as she was standing in front of building, she was staring in awe at the big Hotel.

"Here this is for you," Cal gave him a tip.

"Thank you, Sir, ever to your service."

Cal reminded him that he should pick them up again at eleven and that he should be on time, because he didn't like to be kept waiting. He then turned his interest to Rose, who was wearing only a light overcoat and underneath a silver-coloured-dress. Everything suited her perfectly.

"It looks impressive," she commented her gaze moving up the façade.

"Just, wait until you've seen the inside, darling," Cal offered her his arm leading her in.

Without a doubt the interior of the Hotel was even more inspiring. The walls were panelled in gold; lustres were hanging around, on every table stood fresh flowers. Moreover light classical music was being play by a small orchestra and in between people was waltzing around.

In short Rose really liked it here and she was determined to spend a nice evening with her betrothed.

"Ah, Mr. Hockley, we've already expected you. And this must be your lovely fiancée. Please follow me your booth is already finished up."

Rose couldn't believe the sheer size and elegance of everything around her. So this was evidently her world – people fulfilling her every wish, luxury and extravagance. Her dress had surely cost more than the monthly pay of a whole family put together and yet she was still feeling naked.

A waiter had moved a chair out for her and she graciously sat down, like she had never done anything else in her whole life.

Cal was telling the waiter something, who was then leaving them, but another one remained and poured water into their glasses.

"I hope everything is to your convenience, Sweet Pea?"

"What?" Rose had been in her own world too astounded by everything that had happened the past weeks. "Oh…yes…it's wonderful, darling," she smiled at him.

This room alone was bigger than the one she had been sleeping in on the Carpathia. Rose asked herself what had happened with all the other passengers and if this Jack had been one of them too. Her thoughts drifted away to the day they had met and walked around in the park. Her gaze wandered to her fiancé, who was sipping some wine – Rose had declined alcohol, as it was nothing young women should be particularly keen of.

"You know, Rose, I thought we could make a short honeymoon in Italy maybe. I heard Florence and Rom are lovely cities, especially at this time of the year."

"Haven't we been there already?"

Cal looked at her stunned.

"You remember?"

"No…I…mother told me about your generosity and the journey you had planned ahead for us. It must've cost you a fortune."

"Only the best is good enough for you, Rose. You liked it there so I trust, who would love to go there a second time. I mean Rome alone is such a big town that the few days we've spent there were surely not enough to see everything."

"You're too good to me, Cal," Rose said her eyes gazing down.

Cal reached for her hand and took it in his, slightly caressing it. He then moved it up to his mouth and kissed it gently. He was shocked to find her hand totally cold; he had thought that it was in fact quite hot inside here.

"You know I would do anything for you, darling," he told her.

The food arrived – some caviar and white bread – but Rose didn't even touch it. She seemed to be shivering and the red of her face was turning white. Before Cal knew what was happening she had been sneezing, spilling it all over the table.

"God, I'm sorry…," she muttered clearly embarrassed, but Cal couldn't care less about the table now.

He was concerned about her. Cal stood up and walked over to her side touching her forehead to find out, if she had any fever – her eyes certainly gave that impression, but she wasn't hot or anything – quite the contrary.

"Maybe, it's better if we go home. We can come here any other…"

"Cal, please, everything is fine with me, I assure you. I only need something to drink…"

Cal signalled a waiter.

"Please, my fiancée wants…"

"No, Cal, I only want to…I mean…I need to powder my nose anyway," she excused herself standing up.

Arriving at the bathroom she was glad that she was alone and took out her powder dose. Looking at her reflection in the mirror she could make out dark circles underneath her eyes. Probably it was really better, if they left?

But she didn't want to dishearten Cal, who had planned out the whole evening so carefully. Even if he had said that it would be no problem for him, she knew he would be saddened.

She touched her cheek casually finding it freezing like in winter. Whatever was wrong with her? She felt weak and grabbed the sink, but somehow couldn't hold on.

Outside Cal was wondering what was taking Rose so long. He gesticulated for a waitress standing nearby.

"Yes, Sir?"

"Please, Miss, my fiancée has gone to powder her nose, but she's been very long and I'm getting kind of anxious that something might've happened. Could you possible go and see, if everything is alright with her?"

"Of course, Sir."

_Inside the restroom Rose didn't know any more if she was dreaming or if this was being real, but she wasn't in the restaurant anymore – it had disappeared. The stoning floor had transformed into wood – the lights had gone out and save for the stars on the sky it would've been pitch-black. Instead of being alone she was surrounded by people screaming and shouting – crying frantically for help._

_And oh the cold – the chilly wind – it was taking over everything else._

"Miss, Miss…oh my god…Miss, wake up," someone was shouting at her.

Slowly Rose opened her eyes glancing around finding herself staring into the face of some unknown woman, who helped her sitting up.

"What happened?" Rose asked. "Where are all the people?" she was totally confused now.

Hadn't the room been fully crowded just a minute ago? She moved her hand up to her forehead – it was warm. How come? Wasn't the air icy?

"Which people, Miss?" she was asked back stunned.

"The people, who were yelling and…"

"We're in a hotel, Miss…a restaurant. There was no one yelling, I assure you. You fainted and I found you here. Your fiancé requested me to look for you as he was getting worried. Come on Miss, let me help you up."

Cal meanwhile had taken out the presents he had intended to give to Rose, but it didn't seem like the right time now. One of them was the Heart of the Ocean and the other one was a biography of Isadora Duncan. He knew it was quite risky as she might remember more than he wanted, when receiving these things – on the other hand he had to convince her that he was doing anything so she recalled her past.

When he noticed that she was returning with the waitress he immediately put the boxes away and got up to give her a hand. She looked utterly disturbed, but at least some of her colour had come back.

"Rose, darling, my god what happened?"

"Do you want something to eat?"

"Some more bread would be great and some water. I feel a little queasy."

"Sure, Miss, right away."

Cal reached for Rose's hand luckily finding it warmed up this time.

"You really are alright, Sweet Pea?"

Rose managed a smile. God, how she hated that expression! It made her sound so silly, so childlike.

"Yes, I was just feeling a little out of place I guess. You know I'm not used to all this noise and people…I mean I should be, but…anyway my passing out wasn't completely useless."

"What are you referring to?" Cal asked her wondering.

"I believe I remembered something."

Cal bit his lips – impatiently waiting to hear everything, but as the same time fearing the worst. Still he told that she should tell him what she recalled.

"It was like I was there again…I mean on the ship…I saw them clearly…the people…with my own eyes and heard the desperate shouts for help," her eyes were staring into space now.

"And then?"

Hopefully she hadn't remembered _him._

"Nothing, I fear...oh Cal I feel so lost...," Rose muttered sadly.

She had probably only recalled the screams, because Cal and her mother had told her that she was on that ship. Yes, that's it - it had only been her imagination and she had remembered what she had thought should've been there not what naturally _was_ there.

It was all so frustrating.

Cal didn't know what do to for a moment. He wasn't good at soothing people.

"But you remembered something..."

"I remembered people shouting for help not very unusual on a sinking ship - don't you think? In fact I can't recall anything of importance and I probably may never," she put her head in her hands trying not to cry.

This was supposed to be a happy occasion - right? She didn't want to ruin this evening for Cal. He had done so much already for her.

Cal meanwhile glanced at the gifts, which he had put underneath the table close to his feet.

Should he give them to her now or was it too risky? Finally he decided that he would present her the necklace, but not the biography - hoping that it wouldn't be a mistake.

And maybe it would distract her thoughts from the Titanic sinking.

"Darling, I bought you something," he touched her hand slightly to get her attention.

"Really?" Rose wasn't very interested in getting presents now, but didn't want to disappoint Cal.

When Cal opened the box containing the necklace, he carefully studied her eyes for anything to tell him about her thoughts at this moment.

"Oh my god...," Rose put a hand over a mouth clearly surprised. "I had never awaited..."

Cal stood up moving behind her to fastened up the necklace around her. Rose touched it then much like she had done on the Titanic. Somehow the stone felt cold, like it was pulling her under - no - it couldn't be - it came from her beloved fiancé, who would never give her anything that she wouldn't feel comfortable with.

"It's gorgeous...thank you, Cal."

_It's for royalty...we're royalty, Rose..._

_Please see it as a reminder of my feelings for you._

But Cal was careful not to say anything similar to what he had told her back then.

"So you like it?"

Rose thought for a moment. It was more than exquisite. So how could she not like it. On the other hand she wondered, if Cal had given it to her purely out of love for her or if he was expecting something in return.

"I don't know what to say," she choked out.

Cal had sat down once more gazing her - trying to looking confident and innocent.

"Do you realize how much you mean to me, Sweet Pea?" he reached for her hand kissing the palm of it.

Rose not knowing what else to do gave him a little kiss on his cheek – surprisingly feeling nothing, but quickly putting the awkward thought aside – laying the blame on her perplexed and worn out state.


	11. Chapter 11

Betsy opened the door to an unknown woman, who apparently wasn't shy or sensitive. She had pushed her way forward, before Betsy could even close up behind her.

"Madam, can I…?"

"Is Rose here?"

"Miss Dewitt Bukater you mean?"

Molly nodded. How she hated that. In the Dewitt Bukater household obviously the servants too were wrinkling their noses.

"No, I'm sorry she's isn't here."

_And for this answer I had to wait approximately fife minutes?_

Molly was angry. Since she had Jack forbidden to try the window climbing a second time, she had had to promise him that she would leave a note for Rose. But it looked like she would've to break it. Before Molly could the maid where Rose had gone or when she would be back – Ruth appeared at the edge of the stairs.

"Mrs. Brown, what a nice surprise."

Molly could tell by the tone of her voice that it wasn't a pleasure at all. Ruth had detested her the day she had first sat eyes on her and Molly knew she would never forgive her for entering her class. For someone like Ruth real class was a matter of birth, certainly not a matter of digging up gold.

"This lady wanted to see your daughter."

"Ah Rose isn't here, I'm sorry, Mrs. Brown that you've come here in vain," Ruth told sure that she would leave now, but of course Ruth had never been good at judging people like Molly Brown.

"Well, then, I'm just going to wait for her," she commented making her way in the living room and sitting down on the coach.

Betsy nervously bit her lip, looking at Ruth.

"Maybe you could bring me some, tea?" Molly said towards Betsy, who didn't know what to do.

Ruth was more than angry now, but since it didn't look like this horrible woman would go anywhere in the near future she might as well try to find out what she knew – or to be more precise she had any idea about the current location of a certain young boy.

"You heard her, Betsy and don't forget to bring some cake as well."

"So Molly, tell me, how have you been since the..."

Molly gazed at Ruth suspiciously. She was of course aware what Ruth really wanted to know, but wasn't about to give her that information.

"As good as can be Ruth," she could her sneering as she was being addressed by her first name – serves her right though.

_If Ruth Dewitt Bukater can be disrespectful towards me, so can I._

"I see. How certainly it isn't for all of us, especially for Rose. She was so shocked, when we found her. Luckily Mr. Hockley had detected her in time before…"

_You mean before Jack could? _

Ruth's thoughts were so obvious it was almost creepy. She was like an open book even if she kept her emotions in check on the outside.

"Anyway she still hasn't completely overcome everything and has been ailing for a time. Fortunately she's well enough by now so that the wedding can go on as planned."

_Of course, because that's the only thing you and Mr. Hockley ever care about. Never mind that your poor daughter can't recall anything of importance – least nothing about the man she's going to marry. That's not important, because you will get your money and Mr. Hockley his porcelain doll. _

Molly thought of the interview she had read. It was clear how to her that Rose had mainly said the things she was expected to do and what she had believed at this time to be the right things to say. Surely without losing her memory she would be long back in Jack's arms – never having given a second thought to Caledon Hockley and his reputation.

"Certainly," Molly tried to fake the same disinterest that Ruth always came up with, but realized she wasn't very successful. Surely one needed to be born in the right household for that.

Ruth was somehow tensely holding her teacup, glancing at Molly.

"Do you…maybe…have any notion of what happened to that _boy_?" Ruth spat out the last word.

Molly was totally disgusted. Did Ruth have any idea what Jack and Rose had gone through together? Do did she think had been with her daughter the whole time during the sinking? No wonder Rose had thought out the help from Jack and more so his love. She surely didn't get much of this at home.

Molly at first wanted to lecture her, but then decided against it – it would be of no use anyway and she could best _repay_ Ruth by helping Jack getting Rose back.

"No."

"Oh…so he died with the other…other people."

Molly could tell that she had wanted to use another word, but for whatever reason had held herself back just in time.

"When is Rose coming…?"

"Mrs. Dewitt Bukater there's another guest for your daughter – a Miss Gilman."

Miss Gilman?

Ruth didn't recognize that name at all, but surely it was one of Rose's friends from school.

"You're a friend of my daughter?"

Daphne nodded.

"From university?"

"No from school."

Looking the girl up and down, it finally dawned on Ruth. This was girl, who had always gotten herself and Rose into trouble. Daphne was the one, who had convinced Rose to climb on trees, to talk back on her mother and to show no respect for the elderly.

Ruth more than regretted it now that she had let her inside, particularly with Molly Brown on her other side she had now two people sitting her, who questioned her methods.

Wasn't it also Daphne, who had told Rose that Cal was no good for her?

"Miss Gilman, you really don't need to wait all day. I'm certain to tell Rose about your…"

"It's no problem at all. I don't have to work today, so I've all the time in the world."

"I see," Ruth frowned.

The mentioning of work hadn't escaped her ears. Mr. and Mrs. Gilman had always been kind of strange, but now they were certainly overdoing it. No decent man who ever marry such an outspoken girl as Daphne.

"Excuse me, please…I've to take my valerian…," Ruth explained.

She couldn't stand another minute in the same room with those two, but she didn't want for Rose to return either. Ruth took extra-long to go up to the bathroom, hoping that once she came back they would've disappeared. Of course to no avail.

They were engaged in a conversation about Daphne's job. From what she could grasp Daphne was working as a waitress in a coffee bar.

"It's really not much, Mrs. Brown, but I'm earning my known money and me and my fiancé…by the way are you the famous…"

"Yes, I fear I'm….," Molly smiled at her.

She liked this girl already and if it was simply for the reason that Ruth herself seemed to detest her.

"Ah, that's great…I never knew that Rose had such prominent friends…"

_As if a fiancé like Caledon Hockley wouldn't be important enough_ – Ruth thought angrily.

"You know, when I read of the Titanic sinking I instantly had to come here to see for myself, if everything was alright with Rose. After all we've been friends since growing up."

Molly was about to tell her that Rose had lost her memory, when she suddenly remembered that she wasn't supposed to know as well.

"How sweet of you, Miss Gilman," Ruth spoke up entering the living room again.

She had quite obviously redone her hair and pulled out more jewellery. Just to show off – it seemed.

"Mother….mother, are you?"

Molly couldn't get up fast enough, as did Daphne.

"Rose…these are two people, who wanted…"

"I think that Rose knows very well, who I am, Mrs. Dewitt Bukater," Daphne came up to her and hugged her only stopping, when she saw the confused look on her friend's face.

"What's wrong with you? You look like you see me for the first time."

Rose was determined not to let the tears spill over her face again, but it was to not much benefit. Would she ever get her memory back?

"Oh my god…so it's true," Daphne clapped her hand over her mouth in shock. "Rose, I'm Daphne…Daphne Gilman…we were…we're friends since primary school."

"I wish I could…"

"Oh, Rose, honey…," Molly took the initiative now, before Ruth would ruin everything. "My name is Mrs. Brown, but for you and my other friends I'm just Molly."

Rose couldn't help, but notice that Molly's touch was a lot more comfortable and soothing than her known mothers.

"I'm sure everything will turn out alright in the end," Molly whispered to her matter of fact.

Unbeknownst to everyone else Molly had carefully slipped Jack's note into Rose's pocket while hugging her.


	12. Chapter 12

Rose was clutching the note in her hands impatiently waiting in front of the restaurant Mr. Dawson had given her as meeting point. Glancing at her pocket watch she found that he was already ten minutes late.

Maybe she hadn't understood correctly? This was probably just some joke from someone, who was angry with the rich for whatever reason?

Rose looked around again, but could only make out a young mother with a buggy and a maid aside. She was getting annoyed now.

Why had she come here in the first place? Truthfully she didn't know anything about this Mr. Dawson. What kind of unknown force was always pulling her towards him? Surely it couldn't be that they had…that there was something more to this story. No, she was Philadelphian debutante after all – she would never betray her fiancé like that.

"Fine, Mr. Dawson, I think you've kept me waiting…," she angrily stamped her foot. "I hope you're happy with yourself for fooling me…," she stopped dead in her tracks, when she saw none other, but Mr. Jack Dawson calmly walking towards her.

"I'm sorry I'm late, Ro…Miss," he corrected himself.

"I was just about to go. You're really lucky I'm still here," she snapped back.

Jack grinned slightly remembering the day he had been walking around on deck with her and how she had called him rude for asking her, if she loved Cal. Not that he wouldn't have known the answer anyway however…the look on her face had been priceless.

"So and what's your big surprise now? Keep me anticipating…"

It looked like Miss Dewitt Bukater wasn't easy to impress, but Jack's mind was unwavering. He was certain he would eventually get her back.

Jack stopped her with a firm, but loving grip on her hand.

"Come on, follow me" he told her leading her away.

"Mr. Dawson, where are we going?"

_Oh Rose you've always been very demanding. Just for once please forget about your upbringing and simply enjoy what you've got before your eyes – will you – yes? _

Jack was walking faster and faster by the minute making it hard for Rose to follow ahead in her high-heels.

"I wrote that you should wear more comfortable shoes, didn't I," Jack laughed, but still lent her a hand to help her over a fence carefully supporting her so that she wouldn't trip over.

"You didn't tell me we would be going through the jungle…," she bit her lips seemingly to stop herself from cursing out aloud. "And for your information, Mr. Dawson, these shoes are perfect," she hissed at him.

"What for? Driving along in a carriage maybe?" he laughed again receiving a glare from Rose.

He could tell that she was eager to slap him, but held herself back.

Oh yes that could definitively take some time.

The jungle as Rose called it was in a reality a wide range park system containing of various flower-beds and lakes. Jack was bound to believe that Rose wasn't here for the first time. In fact she had mentioned something about her father going to the Zoo with her aboard the ship.

Probably spending some time here with him would help her trigger her memory?

"Mr. Dawson that's not funny at all," she scolded him. "And by the way, if…"

"We're here," Jack announced instead ignoring her remark.

"And where would this be at the…," Rose stepped out of the _woods_ following him out into the glade.

Her eyes were almost blinded by the view. In front of her lay the most magnificent side she had ever seen. Various kinds of flowers were planted alongside the small lake, while the sun was just rising above from behind.

How this would've looked like with a rainbow plastered in front of it – she wondered – staring flabbergasted at such beauty.

Jack could tell by her mouth wide open how impressed she was.

"Miss, over here," he gently grabbed her hand guiding her further down towards the lake.

"For me?" Rose asked uneasily, when she led eyes on the huge picnic spread out in front of her.

She glanced back over her shoulder to Jack – Mr. Dawson, who was just chuckling.

Rose was taken completely by surprise, but a good one. She almost began to cry at the side. No one had ever done this before for her – even with her memory loss she was sure no one had.

"For whom else? It just took me a little longer than I expected and…," he stopped, when he noticed Rose wasn't listening anymore.

Rose was uncertain of what to do next.

"Don't you want to sit down?" Jack offered.

Rose put her parasol besides her and carefully led out her dress, noticing Jack staring at her the whole time.

"What?"

_I love you, Rose. You're the most wonderful woman on earth, you know that?_

"Something wrong with my hair?" she guessed. "You know I didn't have time today to properly…I'm not used too standing up so early in the morning and Betsy my…my maid she's wasn't up and so I had to…."

Jack only looked at her wanting nothing more, but to hold her tight and kiss her.

God – how this hurt.

"I haven't brought you here to talk about your hair, Miss," he simply stated.

Rose shook her head reaching out for some cheese and tasting it.

"Why then?" she was curious now.

_Because you're the love of my life…_

"I just wanted to…," show you that there's more to life than champagne and caviar – wait hadn't Rose told him something similar - "…I thought you could use some cheering up, I mean with your memory loss and all…"

Rose realized it was improper to even still sit there. This man was of no relation to her and she knew she should just get up and walk home, forget about him, but somehow her body seemed to be glued to the grass – she wouldn't have been able to stand up now, not with all her might.

"Oh please don't remind me…"

Jack took out some handkerchief handing it to her.

"Thanks," Rose sniffed.

"So you still can't remember…?" Jack instantly moved closer to Rose and to his surprise she didn't shove his arm away, when he put it gently on her shoulder.

For some reason Rose found his touch comforting.

"I went to a restaurant lately…a very exquisite one…a hotel actually…with….with my fiancé…"

Jack could tell she had a hard time dealing with all this and he wished he could do more to help her. Maybe he should really just admit the truth to her straight away? But what if she didn't believe him? What if she thought he was only making fun of her misery?

He could never live with the fact that he had hurt his Rose, even if it wasn't done on purpose.

"And?" Jack was keen to hear everything, but he would wait patiently until she found the right words. He withdrew his hand from her shoulder and instead began to squeeze her right hand with both of his wanting to take the pain away from her.

"There were so many people suddenly…"

"In the restaurant?"

"No," Rose shook her head. "On the boat…I mean on the ship…the Titanic and they…were…were screaming and shouting for help. God it was horrible," she got out a sob. "I'm sorry…," she wiped the tears away with her sleeve. "It's a new dress…I don't think mother will be very pleased to see it ruined."

Jack simply stared at her.

_This was her main concern now? A dress?_

He wanted to embrace her, to tell her that everything was going to be alright, that he would always be there for her, that she could count on him – unfortunaly he realized that this couldn't be at the moment.

_And your so-called fiancé did what exactly? _

"Miss, hey…"

"I'm such a mess, sometimes I…"

Rose closed her eyes for a moment trying to reconsider everything. There she was in the middle of nowhere sitting and holding hands with a complete stranger to whom she was pouring her heart out. The most shocking thing however, was how utterly right this felt.

"…Cal he…he presented me…Cal is my fiancé…," she told Jack having no idea that he already knew. "…he presented me with a diamond necklace a very rare one. It's really beautiful…it's stunning in fact, but…"

"You don't like it?" Jack predicted.

"No…I…I do like it. It's just…I don't know myself…sometimes I wish he would…we would…oh I don't know…I just feel like something is missing…like I'm not living my life the way I should."

"You think you're wasting it?"

"In a way yes…god…how this must sound to…I mean I know there're people much more in need than…while I've everything in the world and am still complaining about a necklace…," Rose muttered more to herself now.

Jack thought of something to both help her and make her feel better, finally remembering something. He reached out for his new portfolio Molly had bought him back in New York.

"Here, look at this, maybe you can…"

"Did you…?"

Jack had done his best to capture the people they had met on the Titanic and the situations they had been in together. Only the good ones of course – he never wanted for Rose to recall the bad things.

"There're good…," she flipped over to the next page – a portrait of the young Cora.

_There're very good actually. Jack, these are wonderful pictures._

"A friend of you?"

"Of both of us…sadly she didn't make…I'm sorry I didn't want to make you any sadder…"

"What was her name?"

"Cora Cartmell…"

Rose kept staring at the picture clearly trying to remember something.

"It's no use…," the put her hands on either sides of her temples and threw the portfolio wide away from her. "I simply can't remember! I can't remember! I can't remember!" she screamed on top of her lungs.

Jack softly took her hands, placing them down and silently hugged her.

"Ssh…it's alright…," he soothed her. "Please believe me that I didn't want to see you in any more pain. I was only trying to help you."

Rose ached for his consoling caring touch moving closer to him without even realizing it.

"We should…we should eat something," she drew back, when she became finally aware of the compromising situation they were in.

If her mother would see her now…

"Of course," Jack mumbled sitting up straight again.

Rose silently started eating, while Jack moved around trying to catch all papers, before the wind would. Unexpectedly Rose began to assist him.

"No, Miss…you go on and…"

"Mr. Dawson, please let me help you," she insisted.

Sometime later Rose was lying in the grass her eyes shut and supposedly dreaming of something. She had gotten rid of her gloves by now and was actually happy she hadn't been able to put on a corset alone – it was much more comfortable this way – stretching her arms out in the sun.

She reached besides her half expecting to find _his_ hand next to hers. Of course it wasn't. Jack had gone sitting on a stone – sketching her.

"Mr. Dawson?" she moved one arm in front of herself to protect herself from the sun. "Mr…"

At last she spotted him drawing only a few feet away from her.

"Mr…"

"No, don't move. I'm not finished," he shouted at her.

He was drawing her?

"You were drawing me?" she asked astonished.

She really didn't think that she was this special.

"I was trying to," he admitted. "Could you please…?"

He couldn't tell her to lie down again, now this certainly wouldn't be appropriate. Rose however, was taking this task away from him – positioning herself on the ground once more.

"Is it right this way?" she asked him.

"Very alright and now try not to move."

Rose smiled at him making faces in between – apparently to annoy him.

_Rose, yes, really you're a brat – sometimes that is._

Jack was rolling his eyes slightly, but managed somehow to keep a stern face.

_Just concentrate on the drawing…concentrate on the drawing…_

_I believe you're blushing Mr. Big Artiste…_

If only it would be that easy.

"Mr. Dawson, you look so angry," she got out. "Is something not in order?" she jumped up at this, now being really edgy. "Can I see?" she grabbed the paper from him without even awaiting an answer.

Rose gazed at the drawing, shocked for a moment. Was this really her? She had seen photographs of herself in the albums at home, but she had never known how she actually looked like. Rose could say nothing – just stared at it.

Her glance wandered downwards.

"J. D.," she read out aloud.

"Yes that's my name," she heard Jack behind her. "By the way do you like the picture?"

J. D….J. D….no it didn't rang a bell.

_Yes, it is beautiful. It's gorgeous. I never thought anyone could capture my soul on paper._

But this would mean bestowing too much honour on plain Mr. Dawson.

"Well, it's not bad," she said instead.

"Not bad?" clearly he had hoped-for something more. "Now come on, what do you really think?"

Rose looked at the picture once more and then up right into Jack's eyes. What was it that cemented her to them? What kind of strange force commanded her to always turn her gaze away from him after a few seconds since otherwise she wouldn't be able to do so anymore?

"Mr. Dawson I…alright I must admit you've got some talent," she told him. "Here," she handed him back the picture.

"You can keep it, if you want. It's yours," he shoved her hand back.

"I don't think this would be very…I mean we don't know each other well enough for…," she took a step back fearing that otherwise she might find herself in his arms again. "I think I should…I should go…," she bent down and began to gather her things together.

"Miss, please…if I should've said something to anger you, I…"

Rose stopped with what she was doing sitting down on a stone.

"No, Mr. Dawson, it's not about you. It's about me," she stood up again moving around. "It's…I don't know how to voice it…I should be grateful that I'm born in a wealthy family and that I've a fiancé, who can provide me with everything, but…"

"I know you're missing something. You already said that," Jack finished for her.

_You actually listened?_

Rose was stunned. She hadn't awaited this.

"My whole life seems to have been planned out for me already and sometimes I just…I simply want to do something out of the blue…"

Jack watched her now laughing slightly as she picked up her parasol playacting around.

"You know this is now the ladies in Philadelphia stroll around the street," she showed him, her nose high up in the sky. "And this is how the men walk," she stood up extremely straight moving her shoulders out.

"My god my mother would probably get a heart attack, if she could see me now. Her daughter without any protection, getting sunburn…with an unknown creepy man…," she smiled at this.

"Well your mother isn't here…"

"Right, she isn't and that's why I can do this without any reserve," she jumped around unexpectedly and run over to the lake removing her shoes and socks.

"What are you doing?"

"It's a very hot day, right?" she cocked her eyebrows stepping into the water.

Jack watched her from afar.

"Please be careful…"

"I'm…"

"Ah this is great," Rose had closed her eyes by now and was moving around in the water her hands high up in the air.

Jack had to smile at this. Finally something of the old Rose was coming back. She was laughing to and obviously didn't care about anything at the moment. This was exactly how he wanted to see her – happy and cheerful.

"Miss…you should be more…"

Before he was able to finish his sentence the damage was already done. Rose had taken a false step and landed in the water her whole attire soaking wet now.

Jack couldn't help, but laugh at her more than lame attempt to stand up again.

"Awe…you could help me at least…," she growled.

"It would work better, if you let go of that ridiculous parasol and used both hands," he shouted in her direction.

"Damn it…I know this myself…"

"Alright…alright…," Jack noticed he should better assist her, before the caught a cold. "Here take my hand…"

"It's about time," Rose tried to stand up again and just as she did slipped over her long dress once more – Jack landing in the water beside her.

"Oh god, Mr. Dawson, I'm sorry," Rose muttered both soaking wet now.

Jack only looked at her and then burst out laughing.

"You're not angry?"

"Not at all, I had much fun today, Miss," he said.

"You know what? Me too!" with this she started laughing too letting herself fall back into the water once more.

When they eventually made it out of water there was no telling of dry clothes anymore.

"I should perhaps take a changing attire with me the next time I'm going to meet you, Mr. Dawson."

"You're really fine with walking home alone?"

Rose looked at him questioning.

"Yes, of course. Why wouldn't I?"

_Maybe, because your mother or that fiancé of yours might find out what you've done and will not be pleased about it?_

"I just ask, because…I don't want you to get a cold you know."

Rose was really wondering now. How would him walking her home prevent her from getting a cold anyway?

"Mr. Dawson, I really had a nice time today," she took her hand in his. "I do hope that…"

No they couldn't meet again. It could never be. She was a betrothed woman, soon to be married.

"I think I should go now," she got out feeling his face close to hers too close in fact.

"Thank you again," she added about to run away, but Jack held her back just in time.

"Wait, when are we…how can I contact you?"

Rose thought for a moment. This was probably a very bad idea, but still she couldn't help it. She simply had to see him again.

"You know there's this tree…"

"Tree?"

"Well it's actually more a bush…it's at the back of the house, just outside my window and it's perfect to…now to…to hide messages."

Jack grinned at her. Her idea was great.

_Oh Rose you really are mischievous. _

"Fine let's do it that way," they shook hands like two business partners now.

"I'm waiting for a message, Mr. Dawson," she waved at him finally making her back home.

_And I'm bound to send you some, Rose._


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews.**

* * *

Rose found herself sitting in a home of two supposedly old friends of Cal and her. After meeting up with Jack yesterday she had luckily managed it back into her room without being seen and had instantly redressed.

Afterwards she had basically made up the lie to have slept in. For sure her mother had scolded her, but not as much as she would have done otherwise.

"Rose, dear, you look a little pale. I do hope you're not ill," the woman named Amy asked her.

Cal had put his arm around her in a way imitating his friend Tyrell and his wife, who were seemingly very much in love and cuddled together in each other's arms the whole time. Rose had by now realized how out of place Cal found this whole kissing thing, especially around other people and how uncomfortable he must be feeling right now.

"No, I'm not…it's just the sinking…it's still taking a ton on me."

"Ah, I can imagine…how horrible having to endure such tragedy. I could never envision myself in this situation. Really Rose you're so brave and so are you, Mr. Hockley."

Cal didn't think much of Amy. True she was a nice woman and outwardly she had everything a perfect lady needed, but her whole attitude – it was somehow faked.

"Tell me Tyrell, how's business going on these days?" Cal interjected not intending to have another conversation about the Titanic.

"It's running…," he began glancing swiftly at his wife.

"Oh, Rose, dear, we really wouldn't want to listen to some boring business talk – now do we?"

_Well in fact I would love to know more about my future husband's company. _

"Of course, no," Rose stood up following Amy outside.

"Come on I'll show you around the house a bit. Maybe you'll remember something."

Rose doubted that, but still went after her.

"This one is my Van Gogh favourite…"

"The one, who killed himself I know," Rose choked out.

It seemed like the Jenkins had bought up the whole Louvre.

"How do you…?" Amy was speechless.

"I haven't lost everything of my memory you know. I can still recall for example how to tie my shoes," Rose told her unemotionally receiving a loud shrieking laugh from Amy.

_Had she always been like this?_

"Oh, Rose, truly you're so amusing sometimes…no wonder you constantly got yourself into trouble in school…"

_I did?_

"Anyway I think we could possible start to head for a walk. I believe our men would want to have some time alone."

Rose took a glimpse at Amy, wondering what had made them friends. Maybe they were just thrown together by the sheer coincidence that they had been studying at the same academy?

On the other hand maybe Rose had been like Amy before and had only changed, because of the Titanic sinking? Amy was a nice person – right? Only a little hyped up perhaps.

"Darling, I'm going to show Rose around the city a bit," Amy explained to both. "I love you," she kissed him goodbye.

Cal felt obliged to stand up too and hug Rose.

"Buy yourself something nice, Sweet Pea."

Rose faked a smile.

The whole situation was so weird.

….

"So how long are you married?"

They had been doing some window-shopping and afterwards decided to get a coffee and some cake.

"About a year and a half," she explained. "Oh I tell you Rose married life is wonderful you'll see. Tyrell is such a sweet husband…here look," she showed her a bracelet. "He bought me this a week ago…he's gone so often and feels bad for it…"

Rose tried to smile, wishing she would be somewhere else now.

_What if Jack has already left a note for me? _

Sadly she hadn't got any time to look it up.

Only a day had gone by and she was already missing him.

_How odd to be craving for someone, when I'm going to marry another in less than a month._

"Rose, is something bothering you?" she heard Amy's voice.

"What no…why do you ask?"

"You seemed to be deeply in thoughts."

"I was just thinking about the wedding," she lied.

"Of course…how silly of me…you're sure going to enjoy married life. I certainly do. Tyrell is always so caring towards me."

_Does she have any other topic to talk about other than her ideal husband?_

"Yes you seem you be very happy with him…," Rose got out not at all interested in hearing anymore about Amy's love life, but at same time not wanting to be catechized about hers.

"Oh I'm…I'm…"

"Have you got any children?" it was the only question Rose could come up with at the moment that didn't seem offending or too presumptuous.

"No, but Tyrell has got a son from his first marriage."

_So he was married before. He isn't this flawless at all._

"His wife died, when he about four – he's seven now. His name is Stuart."

_But of course – he is perfect!_

"I'm sorry to hear this. I'm sure it wasn't easy for anyone."

"For no one actually, especially not for the kid…"

"Is he living with you, now?"

"Good god, Rose, of course not…," Amy laughed up "…no he's living in some boarding school over in England."

"Why would he not be living with you and his father?" Rose wondered. "I mean with his mother dead it must be exceptionally difficult for him."

The request was meant truthfully and Rose was hurt a bit, when Amy simply giggled it away again. Why was no one ever taking her seriously?

"Rose, really…you and your silly ideas…anyway we only want the best for him and that's why we sent him away."

Rose would think that living far away from his father wouldn't be the best for a child, who had lost his mother at four and she certainly didn't believe it to be stupid. She noted however, that Amy would to be impervious to argument at the moment.

"Rose you haven't even touched your cake. You're sure you're not sick?"

"Positive, I'm just not very hungry," she forged a grin once more.

Amy leant back in her chair looking around at the people passing by.

"Oh, Rose, look what this woman has…"

While Amy was mocking uninvolved people on the streets, Rose's thoughts drifted to Jack again. What would he be doing now? Had he got a job? He must have.

Where was he living?

"Are you going to attend the remembrance ceremony for the victims of Titanic in New York next week?"

"Rose?" she repeated louder to get a response.

"What, sorry…I wasn't…"

"I asked, if you would be present at the remembrance of the Titanic victims."

"I don't know…probably…if Cal wants to…," she answered diplomatically having already understood how important her husband's opinion was to Amy.

_I wonder if she has got any opinion herself._

…..

Rose and Amy came back just before diner time.

"Have you found something for yourself, dear?" Cal asked her more out of politeness than out of real interest.

"I found some earrings."

"Great," Cal got out very short-tempered in fact.

"I tell you Cal, we need to be careful or our wives will eat us out of house and home."

"Certainly, Tyrell, certainly," Cal laughed half-heartedly.

"I had a superb time today, Rose. We've to do this again as soon as possible."

"Sure of course…"

"What about tomorrow then? Or have you planned something else, Mr. Hockley?"

Rose was angrily burning up inside.

Yes really no one was ever asking her about _her_ opinion.

_What if I don't want to meet with her? Does this concern anybody of you?_

"No, we haven't, Mrs. Jenkins."

"Fine then Rose, I'm going to pick you up at ten, alright. This way we can try out the new coffee bar across the street. I heard they make delicious profiteroles."

"I'd love to," Rose answered falsely getting two kisses on her cheeks from Amy.

Obviously no one seemed to have noted her fake voice.

She couldn't wait to get home and see if Jack had left some message for her.

…..

"I believe Ruth that everything is going well…I took her to meet my friend Tyrell Jenkins and his wife today. Mrs. Jenkins went to university with her. Rose and her seemingly had a nice time together."

"Amy yes I remember. She's always had a good influence on Rose. I fear however…"

"What?"

"You know I received some guests as well a few days ago."

Cal looked at her questioningly.

"Mrs. Brown and Miss Gilman…Daphne…," she clarified.

"The girl from the diary?"

"Precisely."

"Have you asked Mrs. Brown about…?"

"Of course, but she told me she hadn't seen him again."

"So, maybe he has really gone down with the ship?"

"Hopefully he has," Ruth said out aloud not knowing that Rose had been standing at the top of the stairs and heard the last sentence.

Whom had they been talking about?

More important now was for Rose to finally get to read the letter she found hidden under the bushes.

…..

_My dearest Miss,_

_I'm not really sure how to start with this. I guess I've never been very good with written words. But here it goes…I more than enjoyed our little getting-together lately…_

_You didn't get ill hopefully?_

Rose had to smile at the memory.

_Anyway I thought we could go to the zoo tomorrow? That is, if you want. I will be waiting for you in front of the gates from 10 onwards._

Rose would've so much wanted to spend the day at the zoo with fascinating Mr. Dawson, rather than doing mindless chatter about marriages and babies with tedious Amy Jenkins.

Rose found another letter folded up inside the first.

_No, that's not from me – but from some woman named Christina Rossetti – I hope it helps** you** to Remember:_

_Remember me when I am gone away,  
Gone far away into the silent land;  
When you can no more hold me by the hand,  
Nor I half turn to go, yet turning stay._

_Remember me when no more day by day  
You tell me of our future that you plann'd:  
Only remember me; you understand  
It will be late to counsel then or pray._

_Yet if you should forget me for a while  
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:  
For if the darkness and corruption leave  
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,  
Better by far you should forget and smile  
Than that you should remember and be sad._

Rose smiled at how he was trying to make her feel better. He had drawn forget-me-nots around the poem. She wondered what kind of relationship they had really had before. Had he indeed merely made a painting of her?

If so where was it now? Had Cal not been pleased with it? Was it for this reason that Mr. Dawson didn't want Cal to know about his presence? Cal probably had taken it out on him too harshly.

Maybe there was still way to see him tomorrow and ask him some questions?

"Rose, honey, are you upstairs?"

Rose quickly folded both letters and put them under her pillow.

"Yes, mother?"

Ruth appeared at the doorway.

"Have you been sleeping?"

"Taking a little nap…"

"Of course," she sat down beside her daughter "I heard you will be meeting with Mrs. Jenkins tomorrow and now I thought that later on we could spend some time together. I mean we still need to sort out new dishes, now that…the last have been lost in the sinking. I've already made an appointment with a local seller for 5 pm."

"I'd love too, mother," Rose said a phoney smiled plastered on her face.

Sadly she realized that she wouldn't be able to meet Mr. Dawson tomorrow.


	14. Chapter 14

Mutely Jack strolled in the direction of the Dewitt Bukater household his arms hanging alongside his body in frustration.

She hadn't come again.

While he knew it was most likely not her fault, it was still upsetting him. He was cursing Captain Smith once more, if only this idiot had shown more responsibility then Rose and he might already be sitting in California, sipping cocktails on the beach.

Carefully Jack gazed around trying to make out, if anybody was nearby. Then without causing too much noise he hid another note for Rose under the bushes.

Just as he was drawing his hand away, he felt it be grabbed by someone.

Jack froze as he turned his head towards the person.

….

"Indeed, Mrs. Dewitt-Bukater, indeed…I also think this would be the best."

Amy and her mother were looming over some catalogue about the newest home-furnishing-interior. Her mother had joined them some time before, of course entirely accidentally.

"The outlines on this one are excellent," Amy was looking at some fauteuil series.

Rose smiled weakly.

Hadn't they already had enough furniture?

"I thought Cal's home in Pittsburgh is already equipped?"

Ruth and Amy started laughing synchronically.

"What?" Rose was hurt.

Why were they always mocking her – never taking her serious?

"Rose, honey, they're old…it needs something new…," her mother said, while Amy was holding her hand over her stomach to calm herself down.

…..

"What do you think you're doing here?"

She had stuck her hand inside the plant and pulled out the note.

"I'll be there for you tomorrow, same time, same place – can't wait to see you again," she read out aloud. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Miss, please…"

"No, I demand some answers…"

"Please, give it back to me…," he tried to clasp the message back from her, but she put it into her pocket. "I promise I won't…"

"You promise? I would think I should better swear you something…first possibly not to tell anyone what you were trying to do here."

"Alright…alright…I…," Jack noticed that he was defeated and sat down on the stoned wall. "So you're her friend?" he asked the girl next to him.

"I guess I've been…we haven't been in touch lately not after…well anyway my name is Daphne…Daphne Gilman…and you're?"

Jack didn't respond, but buried his head on his hand-palms staring to the ground.

"You came here to meet her?" Daphne continued.

Jack mumbled a mmh.

"Rose told me, it would be fine with her if I left…I didn't want to cause her any trouble."

Daphne shook her head taking a full look at him. Rose had never mentioned anyone special besides Caledon Hockley.

Maybe it was just a one sided affection on his part?

On the other hand, would Rose allow him to come here and leave her notes, if he wasn't appealing to her too?

"My name is Jack Dawson, I'm sorry I haven't introduced myself properly until now."

Daphne simply glanced at him, clearly noticing in what kind of distress he was. She put a hand of comfort on his shoulder wanting to tell him that he could rely on her.

"Tell me, Mr. Dawson, what kind of relationship do you have with my friend?"

…..

"Ruth really? How terrible to hear. I had no idea they would be this careless."

Ruth had just told her that the Titanic had apparently been spreading up due to make it to New York on Tuesday evening, risking the life of thousand passengers and crew members.

"I was already alarmed, when the ship's constructor Mr. Andrews explained the amount of lifeboat capacities to us, but of course I didn't say anything. I mean I didn't want to worry my daughter…"

Rose had stopped listening by now. They were both unnerving. Instead she was gazing at the tree in front of her.

Rose silently began eating her ice cream though she wasn't hungry at all, but she was tired of another question about her meagre appetite.

…..

"Why don't you just tell her?"

"Have you seen her lately?" Jack asked. "I mean would you believe me such a story?"

"I…I guess…," her voice was weary.

"See…that's exactly why I can't tell her. I only…I would so much like to spend more time with her. I miss her so much."

Daphne had no idea what advice she should give him. It could be clearly seen that he was completely infatuated and longing for her friend. But he was right, it wasn't just as unproblematic. There were too many people involved in this story.

"Mr. Dawson, if I can help you with anything…?"

Jack rose up.

"I should probably take a leave. I really need to start looking for a job."

He began to walk away, Daphne running after him. Jack looked at her with a mixture of sadness and wonder.

"Mr. Dawson, perhaps I could do something to help you. You see I'm working in a small coffee bar and we're currently looking for someone to assist in the kitchen."

"I'm not very good at cooking."

"Oh, don't worry; you just have to be good at washing dishes. Come on…I'm sure some distraction will do you well."

Jack certainly couldn't object to this. He already hated it enough that he still had to live of Molly's good-will – though of course she had told him that it was no problem.

"I think not."

"Now then, after me. I have to head back my break is almost over."

…..

"Fine, Mr. Dawson, I'll hire you. Salary is at the end of the month, no exceptions – ten dollars a week, no exceptions – and…," the manager looked Jack up and down. "Oh and no going on with any of the female customers – no…," he felt committed to say, while observing the posture and body-features of the young man.

"Exceptions…alright, Sir. I accept your conditions."

"Great, now get on and moving. I'm not paying you for standing around. Good day."

"Is he always like this?"

"Oh he's a kind-hearted human-being. He just loves marking the boss, you know."

"Miss Gilman, that applies to you too."

"Of course, Sir."

Daphne hurried to put back on her apron and went out to clean the tables.

….

"I guarantee you like this Rose and you too, Mrs. Dewitt Bukater."

"Isn't it a little bit cheap?" Ruth marvelled sneering.

_Oh please, mother not again. _

Rose could hardly stand it anymore. Should this be going on her whole life, the rest of her days to be spent choosing between such world shaking things as if to wear a green or blue dress?

"Nothing to be troubled about…you'll love it."

_I just think that something is missing._

_Like you're wasting it?_

Definitely that was exactly how she felt. She was throwing her life away, while knowing that she had only this one to live. She simply didn't know what she could do against it.

Daphne couldn't believe her eyes, when she noted them sitting there. She pushed past her colleague – Tracy – telling her that she would serve this table.

"What can I do for you?" she put on her most ladylike and fake voice she could think of knowing how much Ruth and Amy loved that arrogance.

"Bring us some menus at first, yes?" Ruth snapped not bothering to looking up.

"I would like to have some cappuccino. They're marvellous here, Rose," Amy told her.

"I've the…," Rose was in fact the only one treating her like a human being. "Daphne? You're my friend Daphne, right?"

"Yes, I'm, Rose…oh, if I would've had any idea you would be coming I had reserved a better table for you," Daphne exclaimed as if she had just been serving them accidentally.

Ruth and Amy shared a look, both thinking the same.

"So you're working here in this…," _backyard shed_ "…nice little restaurant, Miss Gilman?" Amy giggled.

_Yes in fact some people are interested in earning their own money and not living on others Mrs. Jenkins._

Daphne spared herself she remark. She couldn't care less. She detested these two and she was determined to help Rose and her recent friend Mr. Dawson. She thought of his note still stuck inside her pocket.

For sure there had to be a way to hand it over to her without her mother and Amy Jenkins perceiving it.

…..

"I think we should be going now. We don't want to be late for our appointment. Miss, the bill please!"

Rose had totally forgotten about this. Now another two three hours with her hideous mother lay ahead of her.

If only there would be something to divert her from it.

Ruth had insisted on paying for all.

Rose kept silent realizing it was in fact Cal paying.

"It was my pleasure, Mrs. Jenkins."

"You may call me Amy, Madam."

"Only, if you call me Ruth."

_Please where's the bucket when needed_ – Daphne thought disgustedly.

Rose slowly tripled after her mother and Amy.

This was her chance now.

"Oh, Miss, sorry…you've lost something," Daphne said to her giving her the note.

"Well, thanks," Rose was seemingly too perplexed to think straight, simply putting the paper into her purse.

…..

"You sure you can trust her?"

"I thought you had met her too, Molly?"

"Briefly yes…at least she didn't seem to be a fan of Mr. Hockley."

"I just needed to tell someone."

"Oh, Jack, of course I understand…I wish I could do more for you."

Jack then told her about his new job.

"Molly, I simply needed to…"

"I know, I know. I also can't stand being unproductive."

Outside Champollion was meowing again.

"I get him in," Jack told her standing up.

When he opened the door the _womanizer_ was followed in by another cat.

"Looks like we got some addition to the family," Molly laughed.

Jack was unenthusiastically joining in.

Why couldn't his life love also be that easy-going?


	15. Chapter 15

The Hockley steel business had its headquarters in Pittsburgh, but due to his upcoming marriage with Rose Cal had rented an apartment complex at Fairmont. This way he could both work and keep an eye on her

"Mr. Hockley, I'm sorry to interrupt you, Mr. Stevens just called. He wants to know, when the new machines will be delivered."

Cal looked up from his paper work.

"It's alright, Miss Vernon. I'll call him back."

Cal and his father had long been marvelling about building up a new factory in the west, having to choose between Denver, Houston and Chicago. Finally the award went to Houston or better Pasadena. Reasons were mostly the closeness to Mexico and the ability to hire cheaper blue-collar workers from there.

Mr. Stevens was the construction supervisor in Texas and secondly responsible for keeping the banks at hand – ensuring that the costs wouldn't explode.

"Yes…Mr. Stevens…I understand…"

That was certainly no good news. The government down there had obviously decided to expand safety instructions and health care in arrears to recent problems in a factory in Chicago, where ten workers had died in a fire and were now left to the good-will of their employer. This meant for everyone else that they needed even more money.

For sure the government had made clear this applied for un-Stately citizens too, knowing quite well that most labours came from overseas or South America.

_So much for cheap workers from Mexico…_

"I know Mr. Stevens…I realize that you're doing everything…I've called him last week already, they said no more credit, until we can show them new commissions…of course I know that's blackmail…yes…yes…"

Cal sighed practically slamming the receiver down on the telephone.

Those damn bankers had obviously gotten cold feet with the current Titanic sinking and the amount of indemnity claims coming up in relation to it. More over Hockley steel had been providing a lot of its products to the Titanic – certainly with the ship down at the Atlantic now it wasn't the best advertisement.

Cal spread out the plans for the factory on his desk. Maybe if they could make it a little smaller? However, wasn't it too late for that? The architects had already been hired and they had ordered the material.

"Cal, I've to talk to you," his father said.

Cal winked him in.

"Here read this…"

Cal skipped threw the article about the Chicago massacre as the paper termed it – underneath were the new policies led out by the government.

"I already know. Mr. Stevens informed me."

The elder Mr. Hockley took a seat.

"And what do you suppose we should be doing about it?"

Cal actually had no idea. As long as the creditors were withholding them more money they couldn't pay anyone or anything, but they also couldn't take up new commissions for a new factory – it was vicious circle.

"Those damn bankers," his father cursed. "Without us they would be long living out on the streets."

"I…"

"Oh come on, Cal, you know it's true. We're the one employing people, not them and certainly not those stuck-up senators; you don't even know the difference between net and pre-tax."

Cal couldn't very well contradict his father's opinion, but the problem still remained.

"Maybe we ought to think about stopping the Pasadena…," he suggested.

"Have you lost your mind?" Nathan jumped up. "We've already invested millions in this and it costs another to stop it now and pay for the insurance claims that will follow ahead…"

Cal nodded slightly.

"Well what do you think?"

Surely his father must've already considered something too. He had been leading this company for about thirty-five years now and brought it threw all ups and downs. He got to have an idea about a way out.

"I got inquirys from Istanbul and Beograd."

Cal gazed at his father. Surely he didn't mean this. Everybody knew of the situation between these countries.

"Maybe you could take a trip over there with your beautiful fiancée after the wedding. From what I heard the Ottomans were very impressed by her portrait."

"You propose selling to both sides?"

"I propose to get on with business. Come on, Cal I know your standards and so far they worked, but business has to…we've to think about new distribution channels…"

"But if they start war over there…"

"Hell, Cal, we're selling steel, not porcelain dolls and flowery arrangements…you got to go with time."

Cal thought about his father's request.

"Your friend Jenkins does," Nathan told him, when he didn't see Cal reacting.

"What?" Cal looked up stunned.

He knew Tyrell practically since they day they had been toddlers. He would've thought he had a better judgement of people.

"Yes, he has commissions from Istanbul and I hear from Sofia as well…."

"I thought it's against the law to sell to…didn't Washington forbade any inference in European politics?"

"You know how these things are done. Officially they forbid everything - knowing very well nobody will follow and anyway I bet Jenkins has already set up some bogus company somewhere in Zurich…"

_And now you recommend that we'll do the same?_

"Cal make an effort…we need the money."

"I…I simply can't…"

"I've been in charge of this company for three decades now. I won't see it ruined merely out of made-up decency standards."

"And I told you already that I won't trade with anyone, who's bound to use it for killing little children."

Probably the understanding between Cal and Rose would've improved beforehand, if she would've known of his complaints. On the Titanic she merely got to know him for saying – _not the better half._

"I still hold more percentages of the company…," Nathan warned.

"Why do you even ask me then?"

"Because you're my son and we should agree on how the business is run. Quarrel is bad for the establishment."

Cal realized that agreeing for his father purely meant supporting his opinions. It had always been this way between them.

"I still say no."

"And I say…," with that the old man began choking around, his hand moving to his heart in shock.

….

Meanwhile Rose was sitting in her home in Philadelphia reading Mr. Dawson's newest letter. He had written that he had now got a new job in a café – the same one actually in which her friend Daphne was working.

It had taken Rose some time to realize, who had written her that note she had been given by Daphne recently – finally understanding though that only Mr. Dawson could be this irrational. She had been waiting for him at the gates for three days, but he had never shown up, seemingly having to work.

She knew how utterly out of place her behaviour was especially for someone from her class and with her marriage in the near future. It was simply that…in fact she didn't know it herself. While in reality having only met him a week ago, it felt like knowing him her whole life already. She wouldn't want to admit it to herself, but she would rather have a heart-to-heart-discussion with Mr. Dawson than with her own mother.

She stood up searching through her drawer for a pencil to write back to him. She needed to tell him that she had been waiting for him too – he should know she cared about him as well.

What she found, however were old books about architecture, various drawing techniques and a two volumes about European artists from the 15th to the 20th century.

Rose smiled. Though having no idea how she had come up with these, she recalled that Mr. Dawson had quite a talent for doing drawings and was very interested in arts.

Surely this would be a good way to make it up to him, particularly since she had enjoyed the day with him lately so much. He had arranged everything so nicely and had been such a perfect companion.

…..

"Mr. Hockley I told you, you need to take it easier," Dr. Millard told Nathan with Cal standing aside.

"Was it a heart-attack, doctor?" Cal wanted to know.

"Luckily not, only a sudden feeling of faintness…still Mr. Hockley you have to…"

The doctor took out some pills and told him something about how often to take them and to better rest in bed. He knew that Nathan's illness was more serious than the old man would admit to himself. But what to do against stubbornness…?

Nathan wasn't really listening. His own father had died aged almost ninety, while practically smoking and drinking alcohol until lying on his death bed, while some brother of his had died at barely forty never having touched any of the so-called drugs.

In short Nathan didn't think much of the doctor's counsel.

"I'll be on my way then, Mr. Hockley," the doctor said while Cal saw him out.

"Stupid, doctor…now Cal what have we been…"

Cal looked at his father, who was indeed pale and thought it better to skip on to another topic.

"Perhaps we should discuss this another time. I believe the doctor is right with you needing to take it easier."

"Rubbish! What does this charlatan know about me and my body that I don't?"

Still Nathan realized that Cal wouldn't talk with him about the company any longer for today.

"Alright…fine…some other subject…how's your fiancée doing?"

Nathan had always been a fan of Rose and supported their relationship since the very beginning. Rose had everything he would wish on the newest Mrs. Hockley – she was beautiful, vicious, intelligent, outspoken, while at the same time not impertinent.

For sure Cal hadn't mentioned a word about the Dawson incident on the Titanic. His father didn't to know that he wasn't able to control his soon-to-be wife.

"She's glowing with health," it was a bit of a lie, but Cal didn't want to worry his father "…I took her to a restaurant – the Bellevue…"

"That's very nice of you."

"Only the best for Rose…"

"Very right, she's like a very rare diamond," Nathan got out and Cal felt that for once he couldn't agree more with his father.

"What about her memory? Has she gotten it back by now?"

"Some yes, but…"

"Maybe you ought to take her to some specialist? I can ask Dr. Millard."

Cal half-heartedly agreed. Of course he couldn't very well tell his father that he hoped Rose would never recall certain things – or better a specific someone.

"You should take her out some more, Cal. Young girls need this. Perhaps go to visit some play in the theatre with her."

Cal knew that his father was right and that he should be paying more attention to her, but he couldn't help it that he had to work too. And after all – surely once the wedding had gone on as intended – once they would be married…they would've more than enough time to get to know each other.

It had been the same with his parents, who had only grown to love each other once they were forced to live together.

Of course Cal would've thought differently about it, if he would've known just about who his fiancée was thinking once more at the moment.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews.**

* * *

Finally Jack had gotten a day off from work, hoping that Rose too would be free for once. He was waiting at the gates of the zoo again, since this was the meeting point he had set up last. He could already hear chirping and yowling in the back.

Still no Rose appeared.

"Well that's it…maybe I should just…" he got out sadly, when unexpectedly he heard the sweetest voice ever behind him.

"Now, Mr. Dawson…I thought you said you would be waiting for me," she grinned at him and Jack quickly joined in taking a full look at her.

Gone were the parasol and the gloves, while she was wearing a light green dress that perfectly matched her red curls – which by the way weren't up in a button this time, but flowing freely around in the wind.

In short she looked fantastic.

"So, what are we going to do today, Mr. Dawson?"

"Clothes to change?" Jack presumed noticing the bag in her head.

"What? Oh…," Rose started laughing having totally forgotten about it. "No, actually this is something for you."

"For me?" Jack was stunned.

They found a bench and made themselves comfortable as Rose handed Jack over the presents she had brought with her. She couldn't wait to see his face, when he opened it up having even wrapped them up like real birthday presents.

"What's this?"

"Open it and you'll see," Rose watched as his fingers tore open the paper. She couldn't help, but notice the excitement rushing through his body.

_Like he has never gotten any gifts before…_

For sure Rose couldn't know how close to the truth she was.

"I don't know how I got them actually, but anyway…I found them lately in one of my drawers and I thought that you might…I mean since we talked so much about art and you seemed to be so interested…and I thought that…Mr. Dawson is everything alright with you?"

Jack could only nod silently. He was completely overwhelmed and couldn't believe his eyes at first. He didn't care at all, if she had bought these books for him or just found them in some garbage can – the important thing was what _these presents_ meant to him – and that they came from _her_.

He turned his head towards her and before he knew what was doing he had given her a kiss on her cheek.

"Thank you. You don't know how much this means to me," he told her drawing away from her.

Rose was rendered speechless for a second, touching her cheek in disbelief of what she just happened. She wasn't angry with him, no – she was…she didn't understand it herself. She had never thought much of affections and caresses…not with her fiancé and not with her mother…but with this man…

Some jolt of electricity had been running through her, while his lips had gently touched her flesh.

Jack gazed at Rose, squeezing her hand in support, trying to make out what she was thinking now. He hadn't wanted to scare her. After looking at her once more and seeing none of her instant shock left, but noting her blinking her eyes and shaking her head seemingly in an attempt to reassure herself that everything was now really back in order, Jack let go of her hand and sat up straight again – turning his attention back to the books.

The compendium of the artists alone was surely worth more than two monthly pays. Jack carefully took the book in his hands searching for M.

"Monet?" Rose said peeking over his shoulder. "A favourite of yours?"

"Yes, he's great. Don't you…?" all of a sudden they both found each other's faces only inches apart. "I…I mean…," Jack stumbled unsure of what to do for a second.

Rose meanwhile was feeling some inner power drawing her towards this man, who was consuming her with his eyes. God – she could get lost in them. Their noses were almost touching now.

_You're to be married in a month._

_I'm a betrothed woman._

_I shouldn't even be here._

_I shouldn't even think of…_

"We…we…," Rose stammered drawing her gaze away from him before anything inappropriate could happened between them. "I suppose we should start you make up plans for today. Right, Mr. Dawson?"

"Of course."

…

Cal had told his secretary that he would take the day off, but in fact just taken his work with him as he couldn't stand his heated office. He had found the café Ruth had told him visiting about with Rose and Amy Jenkins lately and Cal thought that he might try it out as well.

At least they had a free table and it didn't look to be overly crowded. After ordering some coffee and cheesecake, he began settling out his paper work on the table – getting angry as the wind started to blow up and got hold of it.

Cal hurried after to gather everything together, getting help from some of the waitresses.

_At any rate they knew there manners._

"Mr. Hockley, I believe these are yours?" one of them came up to him.

"Yes, thanks, but how come you know my…wait you look familiar. I apologize, but I simply can't…"

"I'm Daphne Gilman, an old friend of your fiancée."

Oh yes now he recognized her. He must've seen her face in some old family albums of the Dewitt Bukaters.

"So you came here with Rose?" it was a lame question since Daphne already knew the answer.

Jack had been here in the morning eager to tell her how he would try to meet up with Rose again. Daphne realized she should probably feel bad for supporting him and destroying Cal's relationship.

"No, Rose is…she's doing some shopping I think," his voice sounded a little saddened and distressed.

"Daphne, you can take your break now," Tracy shouted from the back.

"Fine…thanks…mind, if sit down for a while Mr. Hockley. I'm not really keen on taking a walk now."

"If you want…," Cal mumbled though not really interested in having company.

One of the newspaper boys went by and Cal bought the latest addition of the _Philadelphian Gazette_.

He turned over the pages wanting to know, if there was something new on the steel market and if his father's allegations towards Tyrell Jenkins were true. But for sure there was nothing about it. Of course his friend wouldn't be so thoughtless.

_Rare interview with Roald Amundsen – hero of the South Pole – by our correspondent Matthew Weingartner_

For some strange reason Cal found himself attached to the article and started to read through it. Although not very attracted by this discovery stuff, he had to admit that Weingartner for all his other faults had a nicely flowing writing style.

"I must say he certainly knows how express himself," Cal got out having finished the interview. "For sure he knows how to dig up new and even interesting stories."

"I know," Daphne languished her eyes getting a faraway look. "He's my fiancé," she added.

"Oh god…my sincere condolences to you, Miss," Cal choked out.

"What? But you just said that…"

"I'd feel bad for anyone, who had to marry this prying, importunate man."

_Here we go again, Mr. Hockley. Just give me another argument of why I should think you're not worth my friend's love._

…..

After having left the books at Molly's home – though not meeting her there as she was visiting friends in New York – Jack and Rose had decided to simply walk around the city and see were their feet took them. Both were careful however, so that their feet wouldn't accidentally lead them too close to her home or to others, who might know her.

Finally they found themselves in the middle of what appeared to be an annual fair.

"Do you want to…?"

"Sure," Rose grinned.

"Ladies and gentlemen buy yourself a lottery ticket – everyone's a win!" one man shouted. "Come on, Sir…it's only ten cents…," he gazed at Jack as they were walking by.

"No, thanks…," Jack hurried past him.

"What a pity. Well I guess I've to look further," the man shrugged his shoulders. "Good day, Sir…Miss…," he bowed his head towards Rose, who giggled at bit.

"No lottery for you, Mr. Dawson?"

"I never got much luck in it," he began, when they came past some cotton candy booth. Jack noted how Rose's movements were getting slower and how she was desirously eyeing it.

"You want some?" he asked feeling her nod.

"Two, Sir?"

One – Jack signalled with his finger. He wasn't very hungry and moreover he needed to be careful with his money. He planned to save them up for later, so that maybe one day he could afford his own home and live there together with…

But certainly buying his love cotton candy was something he would never miss to do.

"Mr. Dawson?"

"Mr. Dawson?" he noted Rose's hand waving he front of his face.

He had obviously been daydreaming again. Rose didn't seem to think of it and simple laughed slightly.

They sat down on some nearby bench.

"It must be long…since I've last…you know I had gone to these places sometimes with my dad, when I was young," Rose mentioned.

"You can remember something?"

"A little bit yes mostly from looking at our old photo albums. I met some old friend of mine lately…"

Jack assumed she was speaking of Daphne and was astonished to hear that he was wrong.

"Amy told me that I had gotten myself into trouble at university. Can you believe that?"

Of course he could, but said nothing.

"I still can't recall anything of the Titanic though, other than what I already told you…or how I met Cal or anything…lately I remembered some school festivity, when I was ten."

"Maybe, you should try go get some help, from I mean…," Jack stammered.

He had no knowledge of these things, but had heard that there were certain specialists, who would be able to activate long lost memory – some by a method they called trance.

"Yes…maybe…"

Jack sensed by hearing her distant voice that she wanted to change the subject.

"Is it good?" he asked motioning towards the cotton candy.

"Oh yes…very tasteful…," she got out her mouth half full. "You want some?" without awaiting an answer she took a piece of it offering it to Jack, who at first tried to reject it. "Come on, open your mouth, I know you want it, Mr. Dawson," Rose giggled again as she was feeding him.

….

Cal had reconsidered everything his father had told him, but so far he hadn't come to a final conclusion. He looked at his watch, realizing he had better head back to his office, doing some phone calls and put on some other clothes for tonight.

His father had reserved a table in some restaurant and Ruth would also be there. Cal had yet gotten a chance to ask her about their money problems and he doubted tonight would be a good time. He watched one of the waitresses clean the table next to him and took this chance to ask for the bill himself.

While he was leaving he noted Daphne standing at the counter serving customers, an idea suddenly coming up to him. He could just ask her about Rose. After all they had once been best friends once, right? Daphne must know what his fiancée liked.

He knew that she wasn't very fond of him. However what was better to convince her of his genuine motives than to thought out her as his confidante?

Perhaps she could give him some advices about how to win her heart?

….

Jack and Rose came to a halt in front of a pitching ball booth. They must've stared too obviously since the man behind the counter addressed them as possible customers.

"You want to try, Sir?"

"No…," Jack shook his head.

"Oh come on, Sir. You can win a flower for your girlfriend here…a rose maybe?"

Jack and Rose shared a knowing look at this, realizing suddenly how they were coming across to bystanders.

"Would you like…?" Jack finally asked Rose, who somehow silently and shyly nodded her head. "Well…alright…give me a ball…"

On the way back home Rose smelled the scent of the yellow rose in her hands. The man had already run out of red ones as he had told them.

"Yellow is supposed to be the colour of jealousy, but I like it," Rose explained turning her attention to Jack, who seemed to be in another world again. "What the man said before to you…about us…I mean, Mr. Dawson…"

"Oh, no, Miss, don't think too much of it. I really like to spend time with you, but I understand that you will be married and that…"

"But we're friends…?" she seemed to be hesitant and unsure.

"We're friends, yes," Jack confirmed with the most steady voice.

"Only friends…?" her eyes were kind of glistening with an uncertain anticipation that Jack couldn't really place at the moment.

Did she want something else…some more? Of course he would only be too happy about it, if this was indeed the case, but he daren't hope. Moreover what do you about her fiancé? Would she believe the whole story from Titanic, if he told her? For whatever the real reason Jack found himself to be half glad, when they had eventually reached the street leading up to her home.

"I believe we ought to part here, Miss," he said deciding to ignore her last remark.

"Of course yes…."

Was there some kind of sadness in her voice? Jack gulped down his uneasy feeling and watched her running up to her home, waiting until she had disappeared into the house.


	17. Chapter 17

Ruth was sitting between Rose and Cal with Nathan on her opposite side. Nathan had spared no efforts to turn this into the most memorable evening imaginable. Rose was wearing a red-dress, a bit like the one she had once wanted to commit suicide in.

Nathan was completely in this element praising his son and the choice of his wife.

"You know, Rose, I always wished for my son to find someone, who would be just as lovely and loyal to him like my own wife had been to me."

Rose gulped away the nervous feeling building up inside her. She eyed Cal wanting to see his reaction, but he simply remained stiff.

_Dear god – how can he be so calm? Isn't it effecting him in any way?_

"Thank you, Mr. Hockley. I feel so loved and welcomed already in your family."

Rose couldn't believe her own words now. She was such a liar. In fact she felt nothing, but emptiness. She deemed herself shallow and alone – even more so with dozens of people around her.

"Please, Rose, dear, you've to call me Nathan. You're family after all."

Rose plastered a smile on her face.

She noticed her mother removing something from her skirt, watching her closely as she did so.

"I'm so happy my Rose has found someone like your son. Caledon is everything a woman could dream of. I'm sure they will make up a great pair….no I must correct myself, they do make up a great pair."

"I just wish your daughter would've gotten her memory back by now," Nathan said surprised a little; when he noted Ruth's cold and somehow distant stare. "Is something bothering you, Mrs. Dewitt Bukater?"

"No, nothing…," Ruth told him not quite sure though, if he believed her.

"Good…because actually I thought about something…"

"And?" Ruth wondered.

"You know there are professionals my dear Rose…"

"Oh father, I don't think that…"

"Just hear me out, Cal…Rose…I already have called someone. He was friends with Katherine and I think if your mother had enough faith in him…I mean, if you want that is, Rose. I won't force you. It's your choice."

Rose fell silent for a moment feeling all eyes turned on her.

What could she say other than yes? Maybe this doctor could help her, maybe not. In fact no harm would be done, if he turned out to be a failure.

"I guess…," she mumbled. "Well…why not try it out," she said tough still perturbed.

She figured that at least her situation couldn't get any worse.

…

Dr. Charles Fredler had his office in Delancey Street near the hospital. Rose was accompanied by her mother. Ruth had insisted that her daughter don't go alone although her motives were far from altruistic.

"You must be, Miss Dewitt Bukater. I'm Mrs. Howard the secretary…if you would like to take a seat for a while? The doctor has yet to finish with another patient."

Rose and her mother sat down on a fauteuil, Mrs. Howard bringing them some coffee. Ruth began reading some women's journal lying on the table in front of them, while Rose leant back, shutting her eyes for a moment.

"Rose, dear, sit up…you're not home," her mother silently fizzed at her making Rose feel like a little child once more.

"Miss Dewitt Bukater…," a man in his forties walked towards her shaking her hand. "I'm Dr. Fredler…"

"I'm her mother, doctor," Ruth stepped forward furiously.

The doctor didn't seem to be impressed. As far as he knew it was the young lady he should be treating, but well…perhaps he was wrong.

"Of course…of course…now please follow be inside, Miss Dewitt Bukater…ahem Helen, please do make another coffee for Mrs. Dewitt Bukater."

The door was shut, before Ruth got a chance to react.

Now hopefully this wouldn't end up bad.

…..

"Have a seat, Miss. May I call you Rose?" the doctor asked politely.

Rose nodded.

"Fine, Rose…tell me, why are you here?"

Rose pondered for a while. Didn't he know it already? She had no idea that he was asking this question every patient.

"I lost my memory and Mr. Hockley…he thought that you might support me to get it back."

"I will try. But I won't promise you anything."

"You've a nice workplace, doctor."

She looked down at some of the book titles – _Über das Innere des Menschen, Träume und Gedanken, Die Welt der Psychoanalyse_

"You know what this is the Psychoanalysis, Rose?"

"A little bit…I…I've heard about it…"

"Well we…I mean the doctors following this method believe that body and soul are connected…to explain it a more direct way that not only does a human live, when he's up and walking, but also, when he is asleep…in fact sleep helps him…and dreams are not for nothing, but for coping with life…with situations he isn't able to deal with, when he is awake…does this make any sense to you?"

"Yes, I think so…but what does this have to do with me?" Rose perplexed a bit.

"Now, well as our reveries help us to handle our life…sometimes we're able to recall things, when slumbering…just someone has to dig it up and tell us later on, because we mostly forget about them once we're awake again…," he went further. "Now that's where I come into place."

The doctor reached for her hand suddenly.

"Rose, what I want to do with you…what I want to try…is going to demand absolute trust and confidence from your side, otherwise it will not work. Do you understand me?"

"Yes…yes…"

"Good…"

…

"Remember Rose, if you should feel uncomfortable in any way; just make a sign with your finger like I showed you before…alright?"

Rose nodded lying down on the couch, placing her head on the comfy cushions. What was she supposed to do now – get some sleep? Was this his new method?

No – surely – Mr. Hockley wouldn't pay him for that.

All of a sudden Rose felt a light flashing up in her eyes, but it was gone just as soon. Then someone made some movements with his hands, while telling her to stare at the wall. What was happening here?

_Am I still alive?_

_I feel like flying._

"Now, Rose, tell me, where are you?" she made out his voice only far away from the background.

'_I'm sitting at a table.'_

"Great, what do you see?"

'_Some people…my mother and some friends...they're talking…'_

"About what?"

'_Me…me and my wedding…mother is complaining about the invitations and says that they needed to be redone two times..._

Indeed that seemed so much like the woman he had just met. He could very well picture her in this situation. The girl lying in front of him...not so much...

_'...mother says that I insisted on lavender...'_

"Lavender for what?"

_'The bridesmaid's dresses...she doesn't seemed to like the colour, but otherwise they are all excited about the wedding…'_

"How are you feeling? Are you thrilled too?"

'_I don't know…'_

The doctor noticed her hesitancy while answering this question scribbling down something in his journal.

'_A girl is sitting on the next table with her mother…'_

"What is she doing, the girl, I mean?"

'_Putting her napkin on her dress so that it wouldn't get dirty…'_

"And your mother and her friends?"

'_My mother is complaining about the wedding invitations. She says that they had to be redone and…'_

"And what?"

'_Nothing…there's nothing more…'_

The doctor noted that Rose was at the end here for today – waking up, so he decided to stop the session for the time being.

"Are you going to tell my mother anything?" she shyly wanted to know.

"Of course not…you're my patient."

The doctor handed her the paper where he had written down everything what she told him.

…..

Ruth had noted how Rose had stuffed something inside her purse and was dying to read it, but she would wait for the right moment.

Returning home they heard music coming from the living room.

Especially Ruth was surprised. Since the death of her husband no one had ever used the piano. She was even sure it had already been sold.

"Who's…?" Ruth wondered stopping dead in her tracks, when she saw, who was playing.

"I thought I…I had the desire to visit my fiancée once more. I hope you've nothing against it, Ruth?"

For sure she didn't quickly excusing herself.

"Come on, Rose, sit down, here," he motioned with his hand to the place next to him.

Rose somehow hesitated. Being so close to Cal was in a way…she should've liked this situation, right? Cal continued playing obvious to Rose's thoughts.

"I like Beethoven best…just think this guy was deaf for years and yet he managed to compose such wonderful music. Don't you think that's terrific?"

"Yes…how is it called?"

"For Elise," Cal told her closing his eyes for a while as he continued playing, his fingers moving effortlessly over the keyboard.

Rose was completely astonished.

"I didn't know you could…"

"Well, there are many things you don't know about me, Rose," he told her looking at her for a second, before turning his eyes back to the piano. "I like to do this. It's very relaxing."

"Cal, I...," she began, but he shushed her.

"Ssh...don't talk now, just listen," he whispered.

Rose was flabbergasted. This was really her fiancé now? The same man, who had been so ill at ease with her alone in the restaurant lately? It almost didn't seem possible she thought as she gazed at him from the side.

As she resumed listening to the music, she in a way felt that she had misjudged him all along. True, he wasn't as lively and vibrant as Mr. Dawson, he wasn't energetically taking her out to explore every new place in town – not laughing up gradually, but keeping his emotions in check – but he was the man she was going to marry. Certainly he deserved some respect from her side.

Rose took a full look at him. His hair was tightly drawn back as ever. Was there ever a moment, when he didn't have complete controll over himself and his actions? She realized his father was strict and demanding - expecting much from his son. Too much? Cal was an only child just like her - he didn't seem have any close friends. No real ones that is - she wouldn't count Tyrell Jenkins as a friend. He was fake just like his wife.

Cal had his eyes closed again, while playing along. How did he do this? Rose glanced outside the window. The sun had sat by now, being replaced by the moon. How long had he been here before they had returned? How long could anyone play on the piano without getting bored or tired or both.

Cal briefly offered her a smile. This time - most likely the only one so far - it was honest and genuine. The tune was so comforting now, as was this whole situation. Cal had never seemed so alive as he was in this particular moment.

Did his father know what he could do? Did he even care? Nathan Hockley didn't came of as a man very interested in the fine arts - and neither had Cal to her. She had believed that business was everything to him - until now.

How sweet the music was playing along. How could anybody say this was a waste of time? How could anybody not love being here at this very moment - not love being here with...Rose started grinning though not really knowing, if it was, because of the wonderful, the person she was with now or simply, because of how easy life could be sometimes.

Cal was right. It was relaxing.

Silently while Cal was performing, Rose led her head on his shoulder a smile appearing on both of their faces.


	18. Chapter 18

When Cal descended down the stairs the next morning, Ruth was already awake sitting in the living room sipping tea. She looked up from the table stunned, when she noted him. Putting her teacup aside she glared at him with malice.

Had he been here the whole night?

How unsuitable! Ruth had thought that he of all people would know about proper etiquette. If word got out about this her daughter would be ruined. And she, Ruth, had so carefully tried to preserve her Rose's innocence.

"Mr. Hockley, you're still here?"

_As you can see…_

"I hope you and Rose…please don't tell me that…," she almost went red at this.

A disgusting thought indeed. She could feel her blood bowl inside in anger and frustration. Cal just stood there calmly and smiled at her. How could he be so cocky now? The situation was worsening every day.

"No, of course not, Ruth…I know my manners. No, in fact I had Betsy sat up a room for me."

Ruth made a sign of relief, telling Cal that he could have either coffee or tea, but Cal wanted neither at the moment. Instead he grabbed the newspaper skipping to the Economics and Business part. It seemed like his friend had landed a big deal in Europe.

Maybe his father had been right after all? Perhaps he should sign these contracts? Obviously Jenkins hadn't made any deficits. He could speak with Tyrell at the end of the week. After all he needed to ask him something else – something more private – too.

Tyrell had always been the more adventurous and risky of the two of them. Cal couldn't help, but think his father would rather have him as son and heir. The two always got along very well and were laughing with each other, while he was a best keeping up some sort of agreement with Nathan.

"What's this?" Cal noted Ruth unfolding a paper.

She had been awfully quiet the whole time. Normally Ruth was very outspoken and would tell everybody all kind of – mostly uninteresting – things. He almost felt sorry for Rose now. She surely hadn't had it easy with a mother like her.

Ruth stiffened a bit, like she was a child caught in the act.

"Rose got it from the doctor your father sent her too…here read…"

"And?" Cal wondered afterwards. "What do you suggest I should do now?"

Ruth stared at him. What he should now? Was this supposed to be a joke? Their lives depended on this wedding and yet he was sitting here – completely composed and reading a newspaper article. How did he think this would end up, if they weren't careful? Did he want Rose to leave him for some steerage boy?

Did he want the papers to post and boost about everything, being made a fool in front of the whole society? Well, she, Ruth, certainly didn't. The ailing months after her husband's death had been enough for her. She wouldn't allow her daughter to destroy her life yet again.

Rose didn't know what was good for her and needed someone to guide her. Mr. Hockley was just the man for it. At least she had thought so – until now.

Gracefully he began reading another item, acting as if he had completely overheard her comment.

Ruth was growing impatient. Cal was hitting on her nerves.

"I don't understand you, Mr. Hockley. We both know what will happen once Rose finds out the truth."

"You mean once she learns that her mother pushed her towards a man she didn't love?" he eventually looked up from his paper.

"Mr. Hockley!" Cal could clearly hear the anger in her voice. "You know very well that I only want the best for my daughter," she hissed towards him.

How dare he question her motives! Rose was her one and only, she would never to anything to hurt her daughter. The only problem with Rose had always been that she was very rebellious, an inheritance from her father, who had never known how to say _No_ and that she therefore had to be kept under control.

_Please don't tell me now, Mr. Hockley that you're going to sabotage these plans?_

"And you think you're going to achieve this by stealing a piece of paper out of her pocket, yes?" Ruth sneered at this. No one was allowed to talk to her like this. "Come on, Ruth, she knows that the doctor gave it to her. Put it back in there…she's bound to notice and will realize it was you, who took it…" he tried to reason with her.

Would she understand? With Ruth one could never be too sure. She was such a trained society woman and rigidly kept her emotions under check that one never knew, if she was really offended or just deceiving someone.

"Fine…fine…you're probably right. I simply believed that you might want to know about it…," she finally gave in.

Cal reconsidered everything for a while. Ruth wasn't totally wrong in this. True what Rose had remembered now wasn't very enlightening for anyone – least of all for herself, but chances were high that sooner or later this would change.

What were they going to do then?

Should he speak to his father? Tell him that he didn't like the idea of Rose going to a shrink? Mention that he was against it too, not only Ruth…or should he talk to Rose herself? Should he make up some lies maybe? Tell her something about Dawson? Would she believe him? There had been a time, when Rose had taken every word for granted that he told her.

Once she had hung at his lips, whenever he was speaking no matter how tedious the subject may have seemed.

When had that changed? Would it ever be the same between them – the same like it was before Titanic, before sailing to Europe? Would Rose ever look at him again with loving eyes, like he had seen her gazing at Jack Dawson?

"Ruth, honestly, it's been nearly two weeks since the sinking and he hasn't shown up yet. Don't you think that we would've heard about him by now, if he had made it?"

Ruth glanced at him. He had clearly had made a point here. Knowing Jack Dawson and his obsession with her daughter surely…surely he would've made his way up to her already. People like him never knew their manners.

"Now, if I think about it…even Molly Brown hasn't mentioned him or invited me over to some tea to convince me that Rose and he belonged together…"

"See?"

"But Mr. Hockley…she may still be against the marriage once she…?"

Cal noted how horrifying this thought was for Ruth, much more so than having her daughter recalling her sentiments for Dawson. Rose just needed to pretend. Ruth would surely do. She might even have sympathy for her daughter's misplaced feelings, if only she would've ignored them, just like her mother would've done.

Cal could get really sick at all of this. Recalling the diary and that particular entry he thought that now was the right time to confront Ruth.

"I mean surely you would want Rose's affection too," he heard Ruth's voice again.

_Was she trying to be funny?  
_

It seemed like it.

Leaning against the coach pillow she seemed to be at total ease with herself now. Well she hadn't this much to lose. Had she? Her daughter was the one she was putting on the market for sale. For the first time he saw this woman for what she really was – he found her ghastly. While meeting Rose and while knowing that their encounter couldn't have been completely happened by chance – he had thought that at least it had been her own choice to continue their upcoming relationship.

But Ruth had destroyed everything, before it had even begun. Maybe they could've been a real couple in time, if this woman hadn't been so adamant and bossy towards her daughter. For sure Rose had never been one, who liked to be shoved around. Ruth Dewitt Bukater had shattered it all and there was no telling now, if they would ever be able to reconcile with each other.

Not knowing, if he should laugh or scream at the woman in front of him, he grabbed his coffee bug – it was cold already – and took a sip, before going on.

"Are you suddenly concerned that I won't be a good husband for your daughter?" Cal could hardly believe it. Ruth would probably make Rose marry an arch-criminal as long as he was able to provide for her expensive lifestyle. "Or are you afraid that I'm not able to afford the finer things for her…or for you that is?"

"Mr. Hockley, honestly, what do you want to tell me?"

"Oh…in fact I think…it should've been you to tell me something…long ago…," Ruth gazed at him like she no idea what he was talking about, but Cal wouldn't be fooled – not anymore. "About your money problems…," he added.

"How do you…?" Ruth was clearly stunned.

She had never mentioned them to anyone and only told Rose the inevitable, when she saw no other way out. Of course her daughter had been shocked at first, but had understood herself that she was the only key out of their calamity.

"Rose wrote about them in her diary…truthfully speaking Ruth I really had higher opinions of you…for a while I kept thinking that…Rose was accepting my proposal out of…I don't know…love?"

"She did, Mr. Hockley…she did…"

Her convincing was lame and Ruth herself must've realized it too, as she kept quiet almost immediately instead taking a deep breath – pretending once more. Yes, this was doing with perfection.

"And ran away with the next best nothing? Really Ruth whom do you want to persuade here? I guess we've both comprehended now that is was never anything more, but a business deal between us."

Ruth was apparently thinking deeply for a while. Looking down at the floor she tried hard to find the right words. She hadn't been prepared for this conversation. She already had had enough troubles.

"I knew I should've told you, Mr. Hockley. I'm sorry for not voicing it before…it was just…the time never seemed right. I only hope that…now that you won't take it out on Rose."

Cal glanced at her puzzled. Did she mean what she had just said? Was the ice-queen worried about the well-being of her daughter suddenly? Cal didn't really buy her sudden change of character.

"You know it's not so much the thing about Rose loving me or not…it's actually…I do feel betrayed."

"Mr. Hockley?"

_What are you amazed about, Ruth?  
_

"Yes, I do. I honestly believed that everything was clear between us...that I had found someone, who would willingly share his life with me…"

Ruth stared at him. Indeed he looked hurt and sad. Had she misjudged his compassions for her daughter? Did he indeed feel something for her, something more than just innocent emotions? Even more important would he take it out on _her?_ Would he leave _her_ alone to the world?

"Do you've any second thoughts?" Cal could clearly hear the fear in her voice.

_That's what you're nervous most about, isn't it Ruth?_

"I thought the arrangement was perfect for everyone."

"Indeed, it is. Isn't it? Well now let's look at it from my perspective – now shall we, Ruth? I mean, if I marry Rose, you get to spend your life in glitter and sparkle…well Rose too, probably not the way she wants to, many thanks to her fiery nature, but who cares…both of you will be well off. But what about me…sorry Ruth, I fail to see how I fit into this _perfect arrangement_ as you call it."

"You've to marry Rose, if you want to get your inheritance."

_Ha! Of course that's it. You're so obvious, Ruth, so obvious._

She thought she knew everything, but he would prove her wrong. No one needed to think that Caledon Hockley could be fooled around without any consequences. Rose had understood this – well at least until she had met Dawson.

She had come to fear him and Ruth would too. She had to respect him. He was their only way out and he was determined to make the most out of it.

"I've to marry, yes…and I've to father an heir during the first two years of marriage to get my millions…," Cal started. "…don't look so surprised, Ruth. It's written down in the marriage contract. Didn't you read it?" For certain he knew she hadn't. Ruth had never bothered herself with such things and it seemed that husband of hers hadn't either. No wonder he had gone bankrupt. "Well Rose needs to bear me a son or our marriage will be null and void…my father has made that very clear to me…"

Ruth's mouth was wide open now from shock. She should've known that there was no messing up with the Hockleys. Whatever she did, they always had the upper hand. It was best not to tangle with them.

"Don't worry, Ruth…that's not my main point here…the thing is…I've to join in matrimony, but not naturally to Rose. Any other woman would be just as good."

He noticed her body becoming rigid once more. How hard this must be for her. Noting her dark eyes now, he realized she probably wanted nothing more, but to slap him.

"How can you say this? I thought you loved my daughter!" she practically screamed at him. "Will you call the engagement of?"

"No…no I won't…don't stress yourself. In fact I do have feelings for your daughter and I'm sure she will fulfil her duty just well."

He noticed Ruth sighing in relief – her body relaxing. The contract seemed forgotten. He wondered however, how Rose would react to the need of having to sign a marriage treaty. Not very well he guessed. He had yet to tell her and feared her reply a little bit.

What if her anger brought back any memories? He had to take this risk, though. There was no other way out.

"By the way it's late…I've to go to work…can I have the letter, Ruth…from Rose's purse?" Cal waited until Ruth had handed it over to him – very doubtfully "I want to return it myself," he said not at all trusting her now.

...

Rose had reread the paper for what seemed like the hundredth time. The more she looked at it, the less sense it made to her. She loved Cal. Right? And her mother had told her that he loved her too. But this piece here indicated something completely different.

Like she was reluctant to marry…why would she? And why had she felt the need to mention that little girl? Was she a relative of hers? She didn't remember a young girl in her family. The doctor had written down something about her feelings too during the session.

_Seemed to be hesitant, when speaking of her marriage…her mother was much more intrigued about it …according to the patient._

Was she unhappy? Cal was the man of every woman's dreams. He was the heir of a hole company and could've had every girl he wanted and yet he had chosen her. She should be thankful instead of brooding. Lately with Cal, when he had visited her and played for her, she had felt so alive again – comfortable resting her head on his shoulder.

He had even stayed for the night, only leaving in the early morning for work. Her mother had later told her. Sometimes Cal was loveable – while at others he was so wide away with his thought that no one could reach him.

Maybe they really needed to spend more time together?

Maybe she needed to spend less time with Mr. Dawson? She knew she wasn't doing the correct thing here. She was a betrothed woman, soon to be married, but she just couldn't help it. Mr. Dawson was more than anyone else making her feel at ease with herself and the world around her. Whatever they did with each other, it all came together perfectly – like they had known one another their whole lives.

'_But we're friends?'_ she recalled her own words.

'_We're friends, yes,' _the sound of his voice had been steady, leaving no room for misinterpretation.

Definitely he was enjoying their time together as much as she did.

'_Only friends?'_

He hadn't answered this question. Rose at the moment didn't know, if she should be angry with him for his indecision and probably recreancy or be glad and happy, because deep down – though not admitting it to herself – she realized she would never have been able to get over a _Yes_.

She gazed at the paper in her hands. What had she wanted to tell the doctor? Why was her mother seemingly unenthusiastic too about her visiting him? Was she hiding something? Rose had already noted how much this marriage meant to Ruth. Was she really only concerned about her well-being like she had said or was there something else behind the story?

Jack, Cal…Cal, Jack…

They were both so different and still had something in common. Both of them were obviously withholding some information from her. Rose felt like a little child sometimes. Indeed in this she was totally dependent on others once more.

"If only I could remember…," she got out sighing deeply.

Could she even marry a man she didn't recall? Could she live a life not even knowing her favourite book or colour or musician?

_Rose had insisted on lavender…_was written down on the paper.

So was lavender her favourite colour? But she seemed to have many dresses in green too and red….So was green her favourite colour or red…or none of these…?

Utterly confused once more she let herself fall down back on her bed. Would sleep help now? Hadn't the doctor said something about dreams and remembrance coming up? Maybe she should give it a try. But as much as she did, she couldn't bring herself to fall into a slumber just now.

Upset she sat up in bed again and decided to have a second look at Mr. Dawson's latest letter to her. In fact he was a picture – he had drawn her face with a rose in it, seemingly to contemplate to the yellow rose she had been given by him. She still had it. She had pressed it through a heavy book so it that it would be preserved.

_J. D. – For your memory – 29__th__ April_ _1912_ – he had written underneath the picture

How much she cherished those moments with him! He made her laugh every time they were together. She felt like he was the only person, who let her be herself – the only one in front of whom she didn't need to play a part.

Why had she decided to marry Cal in the first place? Why not Mr. Dawson?

She touched her cheek, somehow still feeling the little kiss he had given her not that long ago. Was it really simply a thank-you-kiss or was there something more in it? How afraid she had been the night he had first time he had climbed up her window to visit her and now…now she couldn't wait to see him again…to listen to the nonsense he was babbling the whole time…she smiled to herself.

Did he even know that he was talking garbage? Most likely not…but oh…he was so funny and…she felt so carefree with him…

While with Cal…even, if he probably didn't mean it, she always felt like she had be make it up to him, like she wasn't good enough for him…like he was expecting something more from her. Rose wanted to please him, she really did…she wanted to become the wife he wished for. The problem with this was just…what did he wish for?

Cal was so offish in his mannerism; she hadn't even known that he could play the piano until recently. What was he really expecting from his future wife? Truly they said…they spoke much with each other, almost every day Cal would come over from his office now to have lunch with them…they spoke about the wedding, the honeymoon, the dresses for her and the bridesmaids, only they never really talked about anything of significance.

What was _his_ favourite colour? What was _his_ favourite book? By some means she knew that she hadn't forgotten about this, she had simply never known it in the first place.

How could she have a marriage with this man she barely knew? The wedding was in less than a month and so much still to find out…not only about herself…the man she was going to wed was just as much of a mystery as her own self was to her.

Rose got up picking up the pressed rose to smell its scent.

Did she indeed want something more from Mr. Dawson than friendship? He had sent her a poem once…something about remembering to…what should she remember…a life with him? Did they have a past together?

"Rose, dear, are you up…"

Her mother…Rose yearned.

Somehow her mother had a way of always showing up at the most inappropriate times. Quickly Rose put Jack's letter and the rose back into her dresser, before making herself comfortable on the bed once more and putting on a fake smile for her mother.

"Rose, dear…," Ruth glanced around the room like she was trying to find something. Rose was feeling like her mother was spying on her. "…what have you been doing?"

"Just trying to get some sleep…"

Did this answer satisfy her? Her mother gave her no hint about either possibility.

"Rose, I…I really need to tell Betsy to clean up your room…it's not healthy to live in this…mess…," she sneered. "…well anyway, you may guess I haven't come up for this…"

Without asking, if she was disturbing her Ruth took a seat on the bed besides her daughter.

"I had a long talk with Cal today…"

_You? You spoke with my fiancé? Cal's seems to talk with all kind of people, just I his fiancée, his future wife is left in the dark…I bet you know about his favourite colour and book…with me he only ever talks about the weather and my wedding dress…_

"And?" Rose asked trying hard to fake interest.

How she longed for Mr. Dawson to be here now.

"He's worried about you too. After all you're going to be married in less than a month and since you still haven't…anyway he agreed with me that you should be taking it slow and so we thought it best to…"

"Postpone the wedding?"

Did she manage to hide her excitement?

"Good god no Rose…," her mother laughed up. "How silly you're sometimes…"

Rose glanced down for a moment. Was her mother making fun of her misery? Didn't she understand the desperate situation she was in?

"We can't reschedule the wedding. Five hundred invitations have gone out…"

'…_the whole society of Philadelphia will be there and the whole time I feel like I'm standing in the middle of a crowded room…screaming on top of my lungs…and no one even looks up.'_

'_Do you love him?'_

Jack? Was this Jack's…ahem Mr. Dawson's voice?

'_Pardon me?'_

'_Do you love him?'_

"We thought it best, if you take your honeymoon…I mean a longer one sometime later…"

Rose wasn't paying attention anymore and simply nodded her head without even realizing it. Had her mother noticed anything?

'_You're being very rude...you shouldn't be asking me this...'_

'_It's a simply question, do you love the guy or not…'_

_'This is not a suitable conversation...'_

'_Why can't you just answer the question?'_

Oh dear, he was so persistent and unnerving.

Why would he feel the need to ask her all those stupid things?

Rose was so stunned, she couldn't even let herself be happy about the fact that she was finally starting to remember something of her own.

"Rose, is everything alright with you?"

"Why, yes…of course…I just…can I ask you something, mother?"

Ruth nodded her head though not really sure, if she wanted to hear it. With her daughter one never knew what she was up to next.

"Did Cal and I…how did we meet…?"

"At a ball in university, but I thought you know this…"

"Mmmh…yes…what I mean is…did we meet…deliberately…?" she choked out the last words with difficulty and even though she didn't voice it openly Ruth knew exactly what she really wanted to know.

"Rose, I…sometimes meeting someone on purpose doesn't need to be bad…in fact that's how I met your father too and…"

"That doesn't answer my question," Rose insisted. "I asked you, if it was my choice to build up a relationship with Cal."

"Rose, honey, do you think I would push you towards anyone I might not deem good for you…?" Ruth gently began stroking her hair at this.

_Well, actually, I don't know anything anymore, mother…_

"…Cal is a good man, dear and he loves you…he will take good care of you…"

_That doesn't answer my question either…_Rose thought angrily, but she decided to let it be for now. It didn't look like she was getting a satisfying one today and not from her mother anyway.

As soon as possible she would go and speak with Mr. Dawson. At last she desired some responses.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Thanks so much everybody for your reviews and for favouriting/following this story.**

* * *

Cal had taken the liberty of inviting Daphne to his business quarters. He figured this to be the best way to talk to her about Rose without being seen in public and starting horrible gossip – an imputed love affair was the last thing he needed now – worst still with the oldest friend of his fiancée.

Although society normally overlooked that kind of pleasure at least on the men's side, Cal doubted that Rose would be so generous too. She didn't seem to be the person to act nicely on cheaters. Cal glanced at the clock. He had sent his secretary over to the café sometime in the morning, telling her he wanted to see Miss Gilman as soon as her work day ended.

He didn't give a second thought to her plans.

Hopefully his father wouldn't interrupt him. Nathan had been here quite often lately not only wanting to discuss industry matters, but mostly to talk about Rose. His father was probably the most excited of all about the wedding and contrary to Ruth Cal realized he had chosen Rose out of real affection for her and his son.

'_Your mother and I did have a wonderful marriage and the one thing I wish more than anything else is for my son and his future bride to find the same happiness we had,'_ he had told him at their engagement party.

It helped that Rose was of the same class – Cal suspected he wouldn't accept a female Jack Dawson, but with Rose it was still something more. The old Rose had for some reason exactly known how to handle his father. In general Nathan was stiff and tiresome at dinner, but with Rose at his side, he had started to laugh and joke around again.

"Miss Vernon, please tell me as soon as Miss Gilman arrives," Cal told her walking out.

The secretary only nodded, concentrating on writing some letters.

Cal returned back to his papers, making calculations about some machines again. While steel was merely a business for him, he knew for a fact that the company was his life for his father. Nathan had taken it over from his known father back in 1886 shortly after Cal's birth, after his grandfather, Rutherford Hockley, had died. His grandfather had founded the company in the 1840ies, but it had become famous and known worldwide under his father.

To achieve this Nathan had taken many privations, Cal had barely seen his father until he was almost grown up. Nathan left the upbringing entirely to Katherine. Both agreed about a stern education and the necessity of austereness. When Cal was a child he hardly ever got to eat chocolate or was allowed to bring a friend over – everything was restricted. More than once his father had let him bath in cold water to enhance his resilience.

His father he saw, if all, during dinner, when he got home after an exhausting day from work. Cal was forbidden to address his father.

'_Don't speak until spoken too, Caledon. Your father has it hard enough all day. He doesn't need to hear any childhood nonsense,'_ his mother had instructed him.

Not surprisingly dinner time at the Hockley household wasn't very entertaining.

His mother had died, when he was turning twenty, preparing for university. He had only briefly returned from Harvard to Pittsburgh to attend the funeral. In fact Cal had known his mother not better than he had his father and though not wanting to admit it to himself; he was neither very sad nor depressed about her death.

Quite the opposite with his father – from the day his mother died until the moment Rose came into their lives, he hadn't seen him smile again. Rose was the only person besides his mother, who was allowed to talk back on Nathan without him getting angry. Sometimes Cal wondered, if he saw some kind of Katherine-incarnation in his fiancée and if his attitude on her would change, if he would be informed about the happenings aboard Titanic.

"Mr. Hockley, Miss Gilman is here to see you."

"Great, why don't you let her in?" Cal asked standing up.

"Miss…"

Daphne wasn't really in the mood for a conversation with Cal, but realized he wouldn't leave her alone so easily. So she better got it over with now.

"I'm glad you could come, Miss Gilman," Cal shook her hand.

If Cal wanted to, he could really be nice and polite. Daphne was astonished, when he sat down behind his desk, his working papers still in front of him.

"Are we discussing business matters now?"

Cal looked at her stunned, not knowing what she was implying.

"I mean wouldn't the couch be more comfortable, if we're going to speak about private things?"

…..

Rose meanwhile found herself visiting a bridal shop together with her mother. Originally Ruth had planned to visit some friends in the city, but they had informed her that they would stay in New York longer and only come at the end of the week.

Maybe she would be able to see Jack then?

The shop assistant brought the tenth dress already complete with a veil and a tiara, but Rose still wasn't pleased. Ruth was getting impatient. The dress they had brought beforehand had been perfect. Now it was lost in the Atlantic and they had just about three weeks to find a new one.

Luckily money wouldn't be a problem here.

"This one suits you very well, Miss Dewitt Bukater. It's the newest mode…from Paris."

The shop assistant surely thought that she could impress Rose with this. Ruth observed her daughter as she was looking at herself into the mirror. She wouldn't admit her own anxiety, but Rose's pausing was making her tense. It meant that her old spirits, her old personality was returning.

"I do think that it makes me look old."

Moreover she felt the tight corset around her body and wanted nothing more, but to tear that horrible dress in two. Her mother seemed to be pleased and gave her a smile. Now she wasn't the one, who had to wear that ill-fitting, disgusting thing.

Rose grimaced wanting to see something beautiful in the clothes. She realized that she should be more ardent about buying her wedding dress and about her wedding in general, but in fact she was only bored about it. Her mother and the shop assistant had meanwhile found three new ones for her to try on.

"This one is perfect for you, Rose…it even suits your complexion…"

"I think it's a bit too…too white…I would like you have some more cream-coloured…"

For Ruth it couldn't be white enough considering the events that had happened on the ship. She still shuddered, when she thought about them and was almost pleased that she didn't know about everything. This boy must've completely exploited the naivety of her daughter.

Luckily this was all behind them now.

Not surprisingly Rose also didn't approve of the others. Her expression said as much.

Ruth looked at her watch. She had made another appointment with the confectioner for the wedding cake. So much still to be done and so less time…

"Rose, I'm sorry, but we've to go. You see we've to…you've to decide on a wedding cake too."

Rose gazed back into the looking glass. Now here she was, having two options – either letting her mother drag her around the whole city from shop to shop, or she could stay here try on some more clothes – maybe even find something in the end. And yes, perhaps afterwards being free for today and able to see Mr. Dawson.

"And what if I stay here?" Rose began. "I mean you wanted me to find a dress and it's surely better to…now to sort this out…I'm certain the cake can wait."

Ruth wrecked her brain, thinking about it for a minute. Nothing bad could really happen here. Everyone here seemed to be responsible. Finally Ruth decided to agree on her wish. The salesgirl was also glad, wanting of course to finally sell something.

"But you take a cab home and you'll be back, before it's getting dark," she made her daughter promise.

…

"Mr. Hockley, I've come here after a really long day of work and actually this here is some of the last places I like to spend my time…either you tell me now directly what you want from me or I'm going to leave this instant."

Daphne was angry, because Cal was humming and hawing about his motives. So far she had only understood that he was speaking about Rose and obviously wanted some information about her. She wasn't about to make it this easy for him.

"I told you why. I need to know something more about Rose…to…now to win her over."

She would've thought that someone marrying his bride in three weeks would've done that already. Daphne leant back in the couch taking a deep breath. Caledon Hockley was such a strange character. At times she wanted nothing more, but to slap him, at others – like now – she actually felt sorry for him.

Why on earth was he even engaged to Rose? Frankly the two of them had nothing in common.

"Alright fine, so why did you become betrothed to her?"

Cal was taken aback by that question having seemingly never really thought about an answer to it himself. Rose was of the same class they had met and settled on an engagement – this would've been his reply to everyone else, but somehow he knew Daphne wouldn't be satisfied with this one.

"We were dancing together and…Rose is such a lovely girl."

"I bet there're many lovely girls. Why did you opt for her?"

"She's special to me. My father is also very happy with my choice. He has told me so many times."

Daphne gave him a look, not sure if he grasped its meaning. She could see his palms beginning to sweat though he tried his best to hide his nervousness. He certainly had never had this kind of talk with anyone before.

"Your father isn't the one marrying her, you're, Mr. Hockley," she stated matter of fact. "So, you said Rose is special to you. In which way? What makes her different from others?"

Cal thought for a moment, trying to come up with something that would stop Daphne's questions. Maybe it had been a mistake to invite her here. Why did he even want to have more information about Rose? So far they had gotten along quite well without knowing too much about each other. At least Cal had convinced himself that they had.

_I'd rather be his whore than your wife!_

He remembered her voice, her spitting in his face. Afterwards she had even jumped out of the lifeboat just to be with _him_. She had chosen to dump him for a street rat she had known for merely two days.

Maybe the real question should've been – what did Jack Dawson have that he hadn't?

"Mr. Hockley I didn't want to anger you, really. I just think you need to be sure about your own feelings concerning Rose. Your marriage is never going to work, if you don't even know why you're joining her in wedlock – other than the obvious reasons, because she's lovely and beautiful. A marriage based on that isn't going to last long. Both of you will be miserable and unhappy soon enough. Surely you wouldn't want this."

Cal would've loved to put the blame on Dawson again, to assure himself that without Rose meeting this rat the problems they had now would've never come up. It didn't work anymore however. Rose had been against this wedding from the beginning. Heck – she had only agreed, because of money problems.

He gulped down his sudden uneasiness. Something that was new to him and totally unexpected.

Why did he choose Rose?

…

"No, just no…in this dress you look like your own grandmother," Rose heard an all too familiar voice behind her.

Mr. Dawson…

Why on earth was he always there, when she needed him the most? How did he do this? Now she could ask him the question she had wanted to for days.

"You think so?" she spoke up trying her best to sound annoyed. "I don't believe you're very experienced in this."

Jack was enjoying this. After a long day of work he had come here with his colleague Alejandro, who had hoped to find something for his wife and their wedding anniversary. Jack doubted he would, looking at the jewellery. Everything was very high priced. But he was glad he had agreed to accompany him – meeting up here accidentally with Rose made up for everything else.

"Miss, this dress was imported from Milan…it's made of silk and the veil is original Brussels's lace and…"

"…it's hideous," Jack finished for her. "Really, Miss, you look like you've suddenly gotten blind and simply put on the first things you could find," he moved closer to her almost touching her and Rose could feel her breath getting hotter as he began walking around her – taking a good look at her.

"What's wrong?"

"Sir, you're no help really…" the girl said to him. "And besides it's bad luck, if the bridegroom sees the dress before the wedding."

Jack and Rose shared a look, but neither one thought it worthwhile to correct her. Rose marvelled what he would be doing next, seeing the shop assistant eyeing him suspiciously.

Jack ignored her and began searching for something that would suit his Rose. Not very easy…the only point these things had common was their disgusting shape. His artistic view was once again shattered. Nothing in here would flatter his Rose.

"Miss, please leave us alone for a moment," Rose turned to the girl.

"But…," the shop assistant protested.

"I'm going to be alright. This nice man here is going to help me. Right?"

Jack simply nodded his head and the girl was shuddered out by Rose, before she could say another word. She was so beautiful no matter what she was wearing.

….

"Mr. Hockley, I can tell you what you want about Rose. That's not the problem really…her favourite colours are all kinds of violet, but also red and green…a dark one…she always talked about wanting to become a dancer or an actress…Isadora Duncan is one of her idols…"

Daphne's voice was miles away and Cal wasn't paying attention anymore. He suddenly realized that she was right. He had never given it a second thought.

"In school she often climbed on trees and was flirting with boys...she was some kind of a dreamer as well...while her mother was planning out her life for her with marriage and everything….Rose talked about studying and…well I probably encouraged her to do it and her mother was mad afterwards forbidding her to see me again…"

"Rose didn't listen to her…"

Daphne didn't mention that he was the reason, why they had finally stopped seeing each other. Perhaps she really had been jealous like Rose had suggested? Unlike Rose, Daphne had never been much of a boy's girl, most of them had found her too much of an adventuress...not marriagable material as some schoolmate, a stupid girl, had once put it.

"Of course not…you see Rose can be stubborn at times, if she has made up her mind about something…but she will be sad sometimes and needs someone to…Mr. Hockley are you still taking note?"

"You believe that we don't belong together?"

It was a statement rather than a question.

"You can be honest. I've had so many people beside myself, who're only fawning upon me to everything I say…it'll be refreshing to finally hear the truth."

Daphne moved out to touch his hand, finding it cold and strained. He couldn't have had an easy life. She was astonished that he wasn't more relaxed, having believed he had more experience in feigning people and himself.

"My father always told me, how happy and content he was with my mother…how he longed for me and Rose to find the same bliss…"

"You can't live the life of your father, Mr. Hockley. You've to make your own decisions. Just like you've to let Rose make hers…life is not easy you know and love is…supposedly the most complicated thing on earth…but surely the most worth fighting for…"

"Miss Gilman, I want to excuse myself for…," Cal wanted to change the topic not having the strength to go with discussing Rose fearing she might tell him another sad truth about her…or him.

"What for?" Daphne wondered feeling him staring at her.

_My god she had never seen such lonely and depressed eyes before. _

She hadn't anticipated him to say anything. In fact she had thought that he had already given it up on her. It wouldn't be a surprise to her. All men of his class, she had once dated, had at last said no to her...everyone for the same reason, because she was too frank and outspoken and they couldn't take her too an expensive restaurant or...make her meet with some business partner...she would just humiliate them.

"For what I said about your fiancé lately…I didn't want to…I'm sure you're very much in love with him and…you may go now, if you want….he's certainly already expecting you," Cal stood up not waiting for an answer. "I didn't want to waste your time."

"I would appreciate it however, if…if this meeting here could remain our secret…"

Daphne nodded silently.

"It will…"

Cal sat back in his chair behind the desk after having said goodbye to Daphne burying his head in his papers once more. He had told Ruth that he would try to come over for dinner, but he simply couldn't see anyone now. Not today…

….

"Mr. Dawson, I know it was you, who asked me this question."

"And now you want to know why."

"Yes…I mean you must have realized how deeply in love we were…"

Jack held back a giggle. His Rose was coming back more and more every day, if only she herself would notice this too. She stood there before him waiting impatiently for him to say something. Wouldn't it have been better for her to let him answer and not answering her own question straight away..coming up with some explanation herself?

"So you do love him?" he tried to make his voice sound stern.

"Of course I do," she raised her eyebrows.

"How can you be sure, when you've lost your memory? Maybe someone just told you that you did…," at this he felt her cold hand against his cheek.

He realized he had overdone it.

"I'm sorry...," he muttered.

But Rose wasn't finished with him. She was fuming now.

"How dare you! You're making fun of me. Cal and I…we're happy and in love…and I'm sorry for you…that you can't understand this…since you don't have someone…," she was screaming at him now her eyes full of tears. "…but I won't let you talk ill about Cal…you're just jealous, because you can't make yourself fall in love with somebody…," her voice died down and she got out the last words in a bare whisper.

Jack was thunderstruck for a while. He would never make fun of her or do anything to make her cry. However, whether she really believed those things or not, wasn't at all important at this moment. Rose stood in front of him, her hands raised up in defence against him...that was what mattered now.

Her harsh voice, her sad eyes, her tears this was relevant.

"What's wrong with you, Mr. Dawson? Suddenly not so cocky anymore?…now it must be hard to finally get to hear the truth… I may not remember, who I am, but at least I'm able to love and I'm loved back…Cal and I we've each other and I feel sorry for you, because you've your heart locked up and won't let anybody in…," she was jeering now with tears streaming down her face. "

"I thought you knew…," he uttered fill with emotion sadly; quietly his head down careful not to break in tears as well.

This was the last thing he needed now. He wanted to hold her in his arms. She was so vulnerable at this moment and maybe this would've been the perfect moment to...but outside he dimly recognized the voices of so many others...the salesgirls, Alejandro, some more customers...

Rose still in her wedding dress was looking at him, her face a lot softer now than just a minute ago.

"Knew what?"

"About…," he started, but quickly stopped himself realizing it wouldn't be the best way nor time now to tell her "…have you still got the rose?"

"Yes, but…," she looked at him stunned.

Wasn't he going to scream her? Telling her how wrong she had been all along? Sometimes she really didn't understand him. Didn't he feel the need to defend himself?

"You know what little girls use to do with its petals, don't you?"

"Mr. Dawson I'm no small girl anymore…," she shook her head in front of him.

"Just try it out…on your fiancé…promise me you will…"

"Fine, I promise…though I don't really know why…what should this prove?" she began. "I'm still going to marry Cal...no matter what those petals _say_...why are you so adament about it anyway?"

"Jack, where are you…I'm finished…," he heard Alejandro shouting for him.

"I've to go...," he began to turn around. "I hope do you find what you're looking for, Miss..."

Rose simply stared at him for a moment.

Was he refering to the dress? He looked so different now...not at all like the Jack Dawson she normally knew...he had nothing in common with the man she had been to the fair lately...

Gently Rose held him back by his arm.

"Mr. Dawson, I was most likely too severe with you…I do apologize, if I should've angered you or…or made you unhappy…," Rose spoke up softly and quietly.

"I know, Miss…I know…I'm not angry…"

_And you could never make me unhappy, Rose._

"So we will see each other again?" her eyes glistened with hope.

"We will…," Jack spoke up and before she could stop he had taken her hand in his and kissed it tenderly. "Have a nice day, Rose."

Rose was so flabbergasted about the sudden odd feeling shooting through her body once more that she completely forgot to lecture him this time. She made her way back home quickly not even looking at her mother and pretended to be in a deep sleep, when she heard her footsteps coming up to her room.

Once the footsteps and retired she got up again and took out the rose. Not having the heart to destroy it, she simply counted the petals with her fingers.

"I love him…I don't love him…I love him…"

"Rose, dinner is getting cold…"

"…I love him…," the last one "…I don't love him…"

_Oh Mr. Dawson that really doesn't verify anything. That's something for silly little girls and I'm neither silly nor a little girl. _

Tomorrow she would go and visit Cal and prove to him, herself and Mr. Dawson, just how wrong the latter one was.


	20. Chapter 20

Jack had informed Molly about everything of what had happened in the last week including of course he latest accidental meeting with Rose in the bridal shop. Molly had listened carefully to everything, trying to make up her mind of which advice to give the young man.

Knowing Jack she could imagine how unpleasant this whole situation must be for him. During dinner yesterday, when Jack had returned from work, neither of them had said a word – only the cats had meowed in between. Molly was never one to push anything so she had simply waited for him to come up with some explanation for the lack of his usual cheerful behaviour.

"No, you don't understand Molly. I believe…no I'm sure that he has nothing to do with it…it's her…she has convinced herself that she's madly in love with him…how could she tell me that…he's a nobody to her just as much as I am."

_But he is her fiancé, Jack…_

"You know how, Jack. She must think she is love with him, because certainly she won't consider it possible to becoming engaged with a perfect stranger…I can only assume so much about what's going on in our dear Rose's brain at the moment, but…"

"Do you think she might once again fall in love with me?" Jack cut her in.

Molly came up to Jack patting him on the shoulder. She hated to see him like this depressed and downcast. How long had they been here now? Two weeks? Maybe Jack needed to get his thoughts off of Rose for a while. It surely wasn't doing him any good to be thinking of her twenty for seven. Molly had already realized how persistent Jack could be, if he wanted something – even if this thing was totally out of his reach.

He was then acting completely against any logic.

"How should I know, Jack?" Molly looked at him wanting to tell him something more convincing, but also didn't want to lie to him.

As much as she didn't want to hurt Jack, he needed to face the facts. If the inevitable indeed happened and Rose got married to Mr. Hockley, he should better be prepared. So far the chances were fifty-fifty for either one.

"Did Rose tell you that she didn't want to see you any longer?"

"No, it's just…she obviously wants nothing more than a friendship…," he explained. "Of course I can understand her and I don't want to push her…it's simply…it's so hard for me being with her and not being able to…well you know…"

Molly had asked Jack hundredth of times why he wouldn't just tell Rose the whole story about the Titanic, starting with why and how they really met. His response had always been the same – he didn't want to scare her.

"Jack, you see…I've gotten a letter yesterday from my son…my grandson is getting better, but…say Jack why don't we take a little break…Denver is a nice city and…"

"You suggest I should just leave her behind? Yield the floor to _him?"_ Jack almost screamed looking at her angrily.

Molly was a little shocked not having awaited this reaction.

"Jack, honestly, what do you really know about Rose…I mean you've met her barely two weeks ago… I'm not proposing you should leave her for good or to…god forbid…let her marry this jerk, but…"

Jack had meanwhile jumped up and was nervously spacing the floor.

"Jack, sit down again…please…you're making me nervous…," she urged him. "I realize you don't want to hear this, but it's still inevitable that you do…the possibility that Rose will choose him is…"

"It's a possibility, not an option," Jack firmly answered. "Rose would never marry _him_."

Molly wouldn't admit it to herself, but Jack's attitude was worrying her. She was only trying to help. Jack needed to understand the situation behind everything. Of course she realized that he loved Rose truly and deeply…or at least he thought that he did.

How many girls did he have before her? How many serious relationships? She recalled him telling her and the other passengers at dinner how he had travelled the world…did he want her believe that Rose was indeed his one and only?

How long would a first class girl even survive in the environment that Jack grew up in? How long until she got bored of the adventure and wanted to get back to her life in luxury, even if it was only for the improvement of a daily hot bath?

"Jack, I had no intention to hurt you or to…I just want you to…you've to be aware that things might not turn out the way you want them to…"

"By that you mean let Hockley have her or what?"

"No, Jack…but you should give her some time…let her reconsider everything…I know you miss her and everything…but you've to see this from her point of view…for her you're nothing more, but a stranger she's met two weeks ago…while Caledon Hockley is her fiancé and of course she's inclined to believe that she's in love with him…"

"It's simply…oh I don't know, Molly…," Jack had by now calmed down again letting Molly's words sink in.

Maybe she was right. He should probably really leave her some space for a while.

"Let's say Jack, come with me to Denver…you can give Rose my number so she can call you, if she wants…"

"But doesn't that give him advantage over…?"

"Oh, for heaven's sake!" It was Molly's turn now to be angry.

How stubborn Jack could be!

"This is not about you or him now…it's about her…Rose's feelings…she has to make the most important decision in her life so far…choosing the man she wants to spend the rest of her life with…"

Jack took a deep breath, thinking about what Molly had just told him.

"I had never thought about it that way…I didn't want to…of course I know Rose is not a possession of either Hockley or me…I realize I haven't known her very long, but unlike…now unlike with other…," Jack cleared his throat, "…with her it was always something more than just…," Jack was seemingly struggling hard to find the right word.

"An affair?" Molly guessed. "Jack, there so many stages of a relationship between an affair and a normal friendship…or love that is…Rose is not like you Jack…she has grown up in a pampered world…she doesn't know anything about real life…I'm not suggesting that's bad, but…you and her…it's one thing to have a good time for a few days on a ship without any further responsibility, but totally different to..."

"I wouldn't have left her alone, if you're…," Jack firmly protested.

"No, Jack…of course not…you're an honest and trustable person, but a marriage requires more…I could tell you quite a few things about married life, Jack. I was wedded to my husband, when I was barely nineteen and soon I became the mother of two…until my husband struck gold we led the life of many other immigrants…"

"What I want to say is…although we both tried for this marriage to work we simply weren't successful…"

"You want to tell me that Rose is too young to marry?"

"In a way yes…but she's also too green…," she held up her hand at this knowing what Jack was thinking about "…I'm not talking about other men...this wouldn't fit our Rose after all….no I simply mean normal experience of life…"

Jack let himself sink down on the window sill. What if Molly was right? What if they didn't have enough in common to make it work out? He couldn't deny that his other love affairs as short as they may have been – they had been at least of the same class and therefore had known what to expect from life.

Still he felt the need to _defend_ Rose.

"Rose isn't like the other first class girls…she's a strong woman and she…she doesn't look down on anyone…"

"Jack, I know she won't. My concern here is that she's not prepared for a life outside her sheltered world…as I said it's one thing talking about it…maybe even joking about running away, but it's a totally different one to actually…"

"So you think I should leave her for good?"

Molly firmly shook her head. He still didn't get it.

"No, Jack, you should simply give her some time."

…

Cal had had a stressful day. His father had been here twice and in addition called him a million times.

'_You've to think about the future, Cal.'_

'_It's a great deal with Istanbul…'_

Cal knew his father. Nathan wouldn't give up. He just wished his father would listen to his complaints instead to fend them off. In addition he couldn't get the meeting with Daphne out of his head. Though now knowing something more about Rose he still felt quite uneasy, when being around her.

What could he do to win her over? And the more important question was – did he even want this? Wouldn't it be enough to just to be married to her, to lead a friendly partnership? Shouldn't this be sufficient for him?

After all love only ever made life more complicated. Why would he want to bother himself with this weird feeling?

"Mr. Hockley…," the door opened unexpectedly revealing his secretary.

"I told you I want to be left alone…I need time to…"

Before he got any further he noticed another person behind Miss Vernon coming into view. Rose was standing there smiling brightly holding a bottle of champagne in her hand.

"Rose?"

_What on earth was she doing here?_

"I thought it was high time to visit you…after all I want to know everything about my future husband and that includes seeing his work place…," she was smiling and laughing while speaking. "I hope my surprise was successful," she was grinning mischievously.

This was the Rose he had rarely seen aboard the Titanic and even before…was this really her talking? Cal moved towards her until he stood mere inches in front of her.

"I bought something to drink for us…Miss, please bring us some glasses…"

Miss Vernon nodded wanting to get away from them. The whole situation was so bizarre. Cal looked completely out of place like he had never been alone with his own fiancée and didn't know at all what to do. Miss Dewitt Bukater on the other hand appeared more like those loose woman…wanting to sell rubbish at the market - not at all like a highborn lady of society.

Rose and Cal had taken a seat with Rose doing most of the talking. Cal mainly nodded and choked out some – _Aw, yes, no…what a great idea_…in between even though he didn't even really know to what he was giving his consent.

"You think so too, Cal? Oh, I knew you would agree with me…," she plastered a kiss on his cheek at this. "…you see I always thought we could go to one of those stand-up-comedies…it'll be so much fun."

"Wait a minute, Rose…what are you talking about?"

"Oh, I read they're everywhere around the country now. You see with the newest invention of photography and filming some companies are engaging normal people from the streets and…"

"You suggest I should take part in a film?" Cal was astonished looking at the half-empty bottle of champagne.

How many glasses did Rose have already? Her movements were already a little bit tipsy and her voice…well sounded tiddly.

"Cal, come on…don't be so formal and stiff all the time…it's nothing serious…we just dress like two Indians for instance or if you prefer like a knight and his lady…it's so…Cal what's wrong with you? Don't you want to…?"

Cal sat down again in front of her taking her hands in his.

"Rose…I…it's not that I don't want…but I'm a business man and it wouldn't be good for…let's just say there're certain things that I…and you...can't do…we're people well-known in society…we need to…"

"Play a role?"

Cal looked at her wondering. How come she knew? And how come she wasn't throwing a tantrum in return? The old Rose surely would've.

"Mother told me. In fact she's always lecturing me…she instructed me on how important it is to behave well and…anyway I simply…I thought we need to do something...together...more like a couple, if you understand what I mean…," Rose told him in a rush of words.

If only he would be able to believe what she had just said…if only it wasn't for this odd feeling in the back of his mind…was she really trying to tell him that she had chosen to be with him after all? After everything that had happened between them, it was hard to have confidence in her words. He realized that he most likely owed this new Rose only to her lack of remembrance.

"Yes, I do, Rose…but to tell you the truth, even if I had a different standing in the public I wouldn't do it…I'm not much of acting I fear…not in the way you want me to…"

He gazed at her waiting for her reaction. For once Rose was obviously very concerned about their future. Maybe the memory loss had indeed changed her outlook on life? He couldn't remember ever having had this kind of talk with her before. She looked so sweet and innocent now, her lips mere inches away. It would be so easy to close the space between them.

But once again something was holding him back. He couldn't believe himself he was having this conversation with Rose. It was clear to him of course that the alcohol had loosened her tongue and second she was probably just trying to be nice and…

Out of the blue his thoughts were interrupted, when he felt Rose's somehow cold hand travelling up from his neck to his cheek.

"Cal, are you afraid of me?" her voice was gentle almost slow like she was speaking with a child, but Cal understood she hadn't intended to sound contemptibly.

"You know you don't have to be…I'm your fiancée…not one of your business partners…," he only half-listened now instead being transferred back to the morning aboard the Titanic.

'_I'm not one of your foremen you can push around. I'm your fiancée, Cal.'_

How indignant she had gazed up at him…he'll never forget that look.

Was he afraid of her? Yes, maybe a little bit. He wasn't used to being alone with a woman…well that wasn't true. He had been alone with many women in his life, even during his engagement with Rose he was seeing some…the difference was he had never felt anything for them…he could quarrel with them, have sex with them, laugh with them about some mindless chatter or even ask for some business advice…it wouldn't matter what happened in between…if they angered him, he would just leave and all would be okay…because yes…unlike with Rose there was never any kind of love involved…

"Cal…Cal…hey what are you thinking about?"

He snapped out of his daydream. Had she noticed anything else other than him behaving like a moron? Whatever had his father done to make his mother fall in love with him? Hell, why did he even bother now? Rose would be his wife no matter what. Why was he suddenly interested in her opinion? Why did he even give a second thought about her?

Their marriage was a business arrangement, nothing more. He had to stop thinking that it could be something else. In the end he would only hurt her and himself.

"You see, Cal, I realized how little we know of each other…"

Was it really about her, not so much more about _him_ or some other man? Was he simply frightened he could lose her again?

Without thinking about the responses he replied to Rose's questions about his favourite colour, books and some other interests...luckily she didn't seem to mind that he wasn't asking her anything.

"Cal, you know, even with my memory loss and all…you're still my fiancé and I do want to make you happy…"

Was this the alcohol speaking? Could be, but in a way Cal doubted it. He wanted to answer with something witty to try to ease the somehow awkward situation.

There he was sitting in front of the woman, who would be his wife in a few weeks and all he could do was stare at her like some idiot, who had never met with a female person…dimly he remembered the marriage contract and that he had yet to tell Rose about it.

She won't be pleased about it.

"Rose…," he pulled back shocked.

She had really done it. Given him a kiss…even if it was only a small, shy one…it was still a kiss.

He touched his lips trying hard to remain stern. What was she expecting from him now? Should he return the kiss? He had learned so much at university and from his parents, but they had somehow forgotten to give him guidance in how to deal with one's own fiancée.

"Cal…I…I'm sorry I shouldn't have…it's probably the champagne…I shouldn't have thrown myself at you like some hussy…it's not proper…," Rose had hastily jumped up irritated and astonished with herself.

Cal followed ahead standing behind her, touching her shoulders, wanting to tell her that an apology wouldn't be necessary. Rose turned her head around smiling at him, obviously having understood him.

"Did you mean what you said beforehand?" he wanted to know.

Again she was grinning at him, her hand resting on his cheek.

"About us…you really want to…"

"Yes…I want to try it out…," she began. "I mean…I'm young and inexperienced and…"

_I've actually no idea about what to expect from marriage and this stuff and…_

This time Cal was the one, who didn't think twice. Rose's feelings were a mixture of surprise and uneasiness at the moment. While kissing Cal, trying hard to please him, in the back of her mind she was wondering how she should explain her decision to Jack.

She didn't want to upset him, but he had to understand her situation. She was a taken woman, Cal was her betrothed and he would be the one she would spend the rest of her life with.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews, favourites and followers.**

* * *

The pre-wedding party was in full swing, when Rose was finally ready to enter the stage. The reception was held in the Bellevue, like the one for the engagement as Cal, Nathan and Ruth all thought it easier this way.

The appointees had done their best to make it not only comfortable, but remarkable and unforgettable for everyone. Nathan Hockley had rented practically the whole establishment and they knew this assignment could get them a whole more, provided it was done to his satisfaction. For sure it would be cited in the papers tomorrow.

"You look fantastic, Miss Rose. Mr. Hockley will be so surprised and exultant," Betsy exclaimed. "Such a beautiful bride you're…"

Rose smiled agitatedly at her own figure in the mirror, her confidence slightly vanishing. This was the role expected from her to shine and dazzle everyone and everywhere. Shouldn't she be proud of herself instead of continuously questioning everything? She put her hands on each side inhaling deeply trying to draw strength from within.

She loved Cal, he was what she wanted and this was all that mattered. She had noticed how nervous he had been recently and she couldn't help, but wonder, if this was somehow her fault. She couldn't have been a very good fiancée to him – not with her confused state of mind.

"No one is expecting you to be overly talkative…on the contrary from a young lady it's expected to smile and…"

Rose forced a grin knowing the servant had only sought to help, but now she was even more jumpy. She dress seemed to be at least two numbers too small; the corset was pinching and clawing. In addition she was wearing Cal's wedding gift – the Heart of the Ocean. A very heavy stone – though it was marvellous, she felt like it was sucking her under.

Having no idea why, she was suddenly shivering and pulled her scarf closer around herself. She was tenser than she would confess to herself. Did Betsy how something she didn't? Rose somehow still got the impression like everyone around her knew some secret and only she wasn't let into. However, she would relent – for now. She wanted her mother and especially Cal to be proud of her. This whole thing here must've cost him a fortune – she would do everything in her power so that he would always remember this evening. She would become the woman he had always wished for.

"Achoo!"

"I knew it, these hotels are never heated up accurately…they're only concerned about their income nowadays…it's a real shame. I hope you won't catch a cold, Miss. It's bad enough already considering what you've been through."

"Its fine, Betsy. There's nothing wrong with me," Rose suppressed a giggle finding Betsy's sneering quite funny. At least for a moment she had forgotten about her situation.

"Oh, Miss…your purse…"

"Thanks…," without looking Rose gripping it.

….

Ruth was immensely relieved. As soon as she had been informed of her daughter's decision a huge burden had been lifted from her shoulders. She couldn't care less about Rose's real motives; the only thing important was that she had come to the conclusion of Cal being the right one for her entirely by herself. There had been no shove from anyone else and therefore, if it shouldn't work out after all, Rose had only herself to blame for Ruth could always reply with a – _but it was your choice_.

When Rose came down the stairs she looked absolutely fabulous. The whole attire was part of her dowry, which her mother had told her had cost quite a tidy sum and therefore needed to be preserved and taken special care of. Rose by some means wondered why her mother was so concerned about money. She would've thought that they had enough to last for a lifetime. After all Ruth was spending hers head over fist…

"Rose, why are you so late?" Ruth silently hissed towards her daughter.

_Taking about the devil…_

She had by now understood that her mother had quite a temper and normally she was willing to turn a blind eye, but this one was her party and she was determined to have a good time – her mother shouldn't even try to ruin it.

"It's my celebration. Isn't it, mother? Mine and Cal's…and I think as the bride-to-be I've some excuse for being late," Rose grinned wickedly afterwards spotting Daphne talking with some people on the other side of the room, "Daphne, how nice you could come as well. I thought you had to work."

Ruth angrily clutched her fan gazing after her daughter. Rose was hitting her on her nerves – again. And here she had really believed they had overcome these complications.

"Ruth…ah…here you're…"

Ruth turned around at hearing her name being called. Lucille Duff Gordon stood there smiling brightly at her. Sometimes Ruth envied her, her life was certainly much more contented – at least she didn't have to trouble herself with any money problems or with an obstinate daughter. Moreover she had a husband, who seemed to have no objections against his wife designing lingerie.

"I'm so glad to be able to be here. Thank you so much for the invitation, Ruth," Lucille hugged her planting kisses on her cheeks. Ruth in fact hated this habit, it was making her edgy, but she gave in every time. "So where's the happy bride?"

"She must be somewhere nearby…I saw her talking to a friend…"

Lucille grabbed two glasses of champagne from a passing waiter handing one to Ruth.

"To Rose and…," she began her eyes widening, when she noticed that Ruth seemingly wasn't paying attention. "What's the matter…you don't…?"

"Ah, Lucille, it's nothing. You know I don't drink alcohol," Ruth gave her an insecure smile, but Lucille didn't seem to have noted.

Her cheery mood was almost swallowing up hers. Lucille was a great hostess, much better than her. She always knew some interesting stories for every occasion to tell. If only some of this easiness would be rubbing off of her. Although in some ways Lucille was the total contrast of herself, they agreed in most parts what concerned their families.

"I see. You must be so delighted with your daughter. I mean, when Esmé married I was so cheerful and smiling the whole time. I was probably even more anxious…," Lucille began. "The night before the wedding I was crying out my eyes…I couldn't believe that my baby was really a grown-up woman now…," she grinned. "I guess that's something all mothers have to go through. Right, Ruth?"

"What…yes, of course," Ruth quickly answered.

She had only been half-listening. Lucille went on about Esmé and her husband and their life in England.

"Mr. Hockley is a good man. You can be happy he has chosen your daughter…or was it vice versa?" she sniggered a bit. "I mean, I can very well imagine Rose twisting everyone effortlessly around her finger."

"And if you're worried about anything…just think of the grandchildren they will give you…," she grinned.

Ruth uneasily returned the grin.

Lucille was one of those people, who despite their age had preserved themselves their childlike mind. Ruth envied her. Nothing could be as devastating as not to find a way out for her friend. Lucille always made everything seem so simple.

Ruth stared at her, the glass shaking in her hand.

Was she egotistic? On board the Titanic she had dubbed Rose selfish. Lucille kept on telling her something of her life and business and in between Ruth felt herself transported back to the day she had stated the truth to Rose.

'_Only you are able to change this for the better …everything is depending on you.'_

She knew she was expecting very much from her daughter. However, Cal was no monster; he was a decent man and he treated Rose with utter respect. Despite anything else Rose couldn't have done any better.

As if reading her thoughts Lucille continued "…you know, Ruth, whatever headaches your daughter may give you…just be ensured that you never let these feelings stop you from loving her for the person she is…including all her faults…"

"You shouldn't be so severe with her…every girl has her own way of coping with the hard fact of becoming a woman."

Although mumbling a _yes of course_, this was not was Ruth was really concerned about – for everything she was concerned – Rose was growing up too fast.

…

"I'd be so nervous, when getting married and you're so calm, Rose," a girl named Georgia said.

Rose grinned at her. At least she had been able to get to know their names without asking. They were obviously some old friends from school. She wondered if they had all been in the same class for it didn't look like they were very fond of each other. It was more like they were competing for her attention – everybody trying to make her believe he loved her more.

Maybe they could tell her something about her past? But how could she find out without questioning them directly? She didn't want to show any weaknesses.

"Do you remember, Rose, when we talked about our marriage plans?"

"Did Caledon buy you this dress? It's a masterpiece. I'd die, if I'd get a chance to wear it."

Rose smiled towards Georgia. This girl was so hyped up. Hopefully she wouldn't forget to breath and faint? At least she was kind of funny and Rose found she couldn't be angry with her.

"Have you already decided on a maid of honour?"

Rose felt herself bombarded with further inquiries. She gulped down some agitation wishing that Cal would finally return from wherever he had disappeared to. This way she would be able to hang decoratively on his arm and he would tell everyone off, who got too close to her – like he had done with those reporters in New York. No more questions awaiting a response…

"Mr. Hockley has asked Tyrell," this was Amy.

"Don't brag so!" Hannah shouted "We all know that you're best friends, but it's still Rose's choice."

Hannah, Amy and some others turned their eyes towards her.

"I haven't picked someone yet," Rose got out wanting to talk about something else.

In fact this whole wedding chat was getting mind-numbing. At the moment she was much more interested in discovering where Cal had gone. Shouldn't he be with her the whole evening?

He seemed to have vanished from earth. Rose hadn't seen him since they had come here three hours earlier.

"There you're," her mother tipped her on her shoulder. "Are you free?"

Knowing her mother and realizing that she never asked a request Rose only nodded finding herself already being dragged away.

"We won't be long, ladies," Ruth unenthusiastically apologized.

"Mother, if I should've done anything…I'm…"

"Oh, no, honey…it's not about this…I just wanted you to meet someone," Ruth started "This is Lucille Duff Gordon…she's a stylist," Ruth quickly explained silently to her daughter while they were walking towards a middle-aged lady.

"Finally…here she is…you look gorgeous, Rose."

Rose was drawn into an embrace by that unknown lady. She smelled of perfume. Must be a very expensive one…however, Rose found the flavour a little too extreme. Was this required for a stylist?

_She must be a good friend of ours, when calling be Rose._

Rose tried to remember, if she had seen her before. She looked to be nice person; at least she was welcoming her with open arms.

"I've got a special surprise," the woman whispered into her ear. "…for your wedding night…I've designed it exclusively for you."

Rose took a step back suddenly realizing what this lady was talking about. Did her mother know about this? And she wasn't angry? She had even left her alone with this woman.

"I…I…," she was so appalled she couldn't think straight and even less getting out a clear sentence.

Lucille didn't seem to mind and simply started laughing observing Rose's tomato-like face.

"Rose, dear, no need to be so shocked…I realize how this must sound to someone like you, but believe me I've also been young once and…let's just say some things make is easier for both husband and wife…," she blinked knowingly.

"You're mother's friend?" Rose found her voice again completely disremembering to thank her.

Lucille observed her puzzlingly. Something here appeared to be going on with Rose. She wasn't acting like her usual self. First she had looked upset, now she appeared to be scared. Although she was outwardly pretending to be excited about the wedding, inwardly Lucille realized that the opposite was true.

"Rose, dear, why don't be take a little walk together?"

Rose gazed round attempting to make out, if her mother or Cal could see her.

"Don't worry; your mother won't reprove you. I'm going to clarify everything to her," Lucille put an arm around her back pushing her in the direction of the exit.

…

The room was covered with smoke while the two figures inside continued yelling at each other. Nathan was puffing one cigarette after the other not caring about what the doctor had told him. Neither one was in the mood for a festivity – however, they simply couldn't cancel it for reasons of the family name.

"I should probably leave it to you, but still I feel the need to remind you about the doctor's instructions," Cal got out reproachfully, not really sounding overly alarmed.

They had been quarrelling since arriving here mainly about business, but also about Rose and the wedding. Cal had made an effort to discuss the marriage contract with his father. Since Rose was trying her best to make their relationship function, he felt that he owed her something in return. What better to demonstrate his love to her than to tear up this pact?

He had reckoned his plan without the host. His father was never retreating. The older he got the more stubborn he went. He had simply told Cal off not even hearing out his motives. His father was so cruel sometimes…Cal wondered how his mother had managed to live with him.

Was her life with him really such bliss like she had wanted everyone to believe? The delicate figure of his mother and his stern strict father, his rough hands enfolding her body…Cal shuddered. Some things shouldn't even be thought off.

"I could still marry her without signing this paper," Cal informed Nathan, who only shrugged his shoulders, staring blankly.

His son was being too forwarding. He had obviously forgotten his place. However, for once Nathan was truly proud of his son. If only that newfound daredevilry wouldn't be turning up against himself. He started coughing again his latest heart failure obviously having made no impact on him. He wouldn't change his daily routine.

"Don't be ridiculous, Cal. It's not very befitting. You're such an obedient son. You wouldn't want to earn your own money, now would you?" he threatened.

Cal couldn't believe it. He would really go to the extreme? Disinherit him his own flesh and blood? Nathan's eyes had become small, penetrating, and dark, like those of a snake in searched for her newest victim.

Cal stood there his mouth half-open, not able to articulate what he was thinking…much less come to terms with his own feelings. He could hear the music still playing and pondered if it would be best for now to just leave his father for good. Rose would surely be more welcoming. Lately, when they had spent some spare time together, he had been taken back to the past – their relationship had been fresh, energizing…and stimulating his hard days once.

Had all of this been lies? All her words been deceits? Cal was no fool. He had told her many fabrications too. He still did. It was common knowledge to everyone that once you became engaged to a woman there couldn't really happen anything to break up the betrothal again – the woman would only look debauched and the blame be put on her.

Cal had believed in that saying and had failed miserably. Ostensibly Rose hadn't cared about the whispers of other people.

"Don't stand there like you're trying to catch flies, Cal."

Immediately Cal closed his mouth. His father had a really good perception in reminding people that they were beneath him, making them sadder than they already were.

"I'm your son, Sir. You can't talk to me like this!" he raised his voice.

For once Cal had indeed forgotten his manners. He had never spoken to his father in this tone.

"I will talk to you as I please. It's my company and my…"

"Rose is my bride," Cal practically screamed. "Shouldn't I be the one to find a way to live with her?"

His father wouldn't listen. He never did. Once he had made up his mind he wouldn't amend it. The cigarette in his hand was almost at an end. His osseous fingers were clasping the last straw. Nathan had been quite attractive in his youth, a much thought after bachelor – what power and greed could do to people.

"You're being absurd Cal. Rose and you are both far too young to decide on anything important…it took me years to build up this factory…I won't see it going down to drenches now…"

_I'm glad to know you've got such a high opinion of Rose and me._

Cal grimaced annoyed.

"Whatever are you staring at this time? Shouldn't you go and find your…?" the rest of his sentence was lost by another cough.

Nathan put a hand over his mouth, his whole body shaking. It hurt more than he would declare. Nathan would never show any frailties. Showing flaws meant turning the other cheek.

"Father, are you alright?" Cal came up to him wanting to touch him, but his father turned away.

"Now you're being pathetic…I bet both of you would be happy to see me dead."

Cal was flabbergasted at his father's very own accusation. He couldn't care less about the party or even Rose at the moment. This matter needed to be solved instantly. The light began flickering like on the day the Titanic was sinking – the situation was a bit little like those on a funeral – a very sombre atmosphere indeed only that Cal thought of himself being the one in the gasket.

Nathan had grabbed his collar stretching it slightly trying to get more air into his lungs.

"I'm not taking this," Cal calmly got out noticing that his father had recovered. "You're speaking about Rose here…my bride…about us like we're some of your labour workers…how can you even think that…I would never wish anything bad on you. And neither would Rose."

Nathan wasn't impressed.

"You can leave, whenever you want. No one is forcing you to stay, Cal. However, for the sake of our lovely Rose I would advise you to reconsider your decision…I don't think she'll be very comfortable in a common dormitory…that goes for both Dewitt Bukater women of course…"

"You knew?" Cal's voice was silent and hurt the sudden confession of his father knowing was even harder than reading it for himself in that diary.

He felt betrayed. If only Dawson would be here now – he needed to hit someone so desperately. If he would be the member of some street-gang his could just grab the nearest ill-fated soul…taking it out on him. But as he a supposed gentleman sadly this wasn't an alternative – he had to pretend and lock up his sentiments.

"Don't look like you had no idea. Did you honestly thing it was Rose's choice? That _you_ were her preference? I would've have thought you smarter, Cal," the light left Cal's eyes as he realized the amount of defraud he was taken by.

"Please don't look like you want to convey your deep love for her all of a sudden…we both know this isn't true…I know it especially well, because it was me paying the bills for all these girls…don't act like a new born saint…you're not…"

"Ruth came to me not soon after the day you two had first met. It was long before your engagement…or even before I started considering Rose as your wife…,"

"Not that she wasn't carefully selected…but after all you needed someone and Rose was there…at the right time…"

"I'm going to tell her."

"If you think this is doing your relationship any good…but don't forget to state your part in it. As far as I recall you had initially nothing against the marriage contract. Wasn't it in fact you, who came up with this idea for fear that Rose could scramble your fortune…," he could say his son's body getting strained "…or should I tell her? Should I tell her about Victoria and Olivia…Babette and…," Cal face fell "…I see you've understood," Nathan leant back in his chair.

"You wouldn't…"

"Don't provoke me!" Nathan held up his fist warningly "No I won't, but only because of how much I like Rose. She's a decent lovely girl…" _and you don't deserve her._

His father was so composed, it infuriated Cal even more.

He hurried towards the table stemming his arms on it, peering into the eyes of his father. He remembered his childhood – how often his parents had lectured him, how his father had beaten him with a birch…how he had been sent to bed without food…

Rose had been the first one…probably the only person, who had treated him like a human being. The way she had looked at him once…if only it could've lasted. Maybe he had really been dumb to even think it could be more than a business arrangement.

This time he wouldn't back off. Now it was about his life and happiness. He wouldn't let anyone ruin it. Rose had almost slipped through his hands once; he wouldn't miss another chance with her.

Until Jack Dawson had started playing with the doll, he hadn't even considered that it could be anything else or cared about it. Now he wanted his possession back – more than this, he wanted everything. He wasn't going to content himself with any less but her love.

"Listen to me, father. I'm going to marry Rose and we're going to be happy together…with our without your approval," he looked him deeply into his eyes, but Nathan was seemingly used to this not showing any emotion.

"Go and find your bride. This outrageous behaviour doesn't suit you at all. Don't forget to remember, who made you what you're. You can't ignore your heritage, Cal."

Angrily Cal stormed to the door tearing it open in haste.

"Oh and before I forget…the last word concerning the marriage contract has yet to be spoken…," he then slammed the door shut. "We'll see about this…"

Nathan started laughing uncontrollably though the coughing prevented him a bit.

"No, we won't."

….

The April air was actually refreshing. Rose took a deep breath and suddenly the corset didn't seem so tight anymore. She should've put her mind in gear, before opening her mouth. Now she couldn't take them back. Rose sighed.

The stars they had never seemed so vast and endless before and still Rose hadn't felt so comfortable in a long time. Somehow she had got the impression as if she had been here previously; she was having some kind of déjà vu. She didn't feel the cold anymore, in fact it was rather becoming. The sky above her – was it coming crashing down on her? And so many stars…no one would be able to count them. The woman besides her hadn't said a word. Was she waiting for her to open her mouth?

"Rose, I…why don't you tell me what's bothering you?"

"Mrs. Duff Gordon…"

"Oh no Rose, why so formal…don't you remember you've to call me Lucille."

"Of course…I'm so confused sometimes…," Rose started chuckling hoping that she hadn't noticed.

There it was again. This peculiar sensitivity she always got, when she felt trapped. Now she couldn't even explain why. After all it was not her fault that she had lost her memory and it was certainly no need to feel guilty. The wind started to blow up her silky dress and Rose hurried to rearrange everything as it should be. She was expected to answer. She knew it. Only her tongue was stuck in her throat, her lips felt like they were being stitched together. Gazing back up at the stars, trying to draw strength from them…no this wasn't the first time she had been in such a situation. The whole atmosphere was similar to another place and time – just the person she had experienced it with had changed.

"I can imagine how you must feel at the moment."

Rose doubted that, but continued smiling politely, wondering what she was going to be told. Nobody seemed to actually miss her and unlike so many other times, when Rose had felt lonely and wished someone would come to her – asking her some questions, showing some interested in her life – this time she was in fact glad there was no other one around.

This lady didn't count. She could easily be ignored. The relieve she had felt after choosing Cal had been replaced by one of hesitation – a strange voice inside her whispered that not all was well, that Cal and her mother were both holding something back. Rose disregarded this voice – for once deciding to pay more attention to the person sitting next to her.

"What are you implying?" Rose spoke up like she didn't know exactly.

Lucille marvelled if Rose was being authentic or simply playing a role. Ruth had once or twice mentioned how her daughter was keen on deceiving people and how much trouble it had taken her to restrain her in her youth. Today it was so hard to tell with young people, with all those new ideas they were swept up in. Rose was certainly no exception in this. While she was of course a bright girl with a clear mind, she was too immature to come to terms with the hardships of life or able to fully comprehend the full impactions of her doings.

One could only hope that Mr. Hockley would be enough of guidance for her – Rose undoubtedly needed more than one helping hand, someone to push her into the right direction. Lucille somehow had misgivings about Ruth being the right person for this. Though she knew that she loved her daughter and cherished the time with her, she was a completely different character and not very empathizing.

"I know your mother can be a handful sometimes…but she doesn't mean it. Trust me she just wants to see you happy," Lucille grabbed Rose's hand squeezing it "Ruth is your mother and I realize how hard it is sometimes to speak about your problems with one's own mother…"

"You mean I should…?" Rose gazed at the stoned floor.

"I don't mean anything. I only wanted to remind you that you're not alone in this. I was also young once and innocent…and naïve…I married at barely eighteen to a man twice my age, who soon proved to be a gambler and a drunkard…"

Rose eyes fixated even more on the stones. What did this woman want from her? Pity? Why would she tell her this story now, three weeks before her wedding – at her reception? Rose found this a strange way of convincing someone to go on with a marriage. Her face showing her confusion she looked up at Lucille, who seemed to be thankful to be finally able to speak with someone about her life.

"Oh no, Rose…I was not my intention to scare you. Mr. Hockley has a totally different personality. He cares for you and only wants your best."

Did he really? Rose was perturbed again. Sure Cal was nice, treating her like a gentleman, but something was missing between them. She had observed him more than once at dinner, whenever he came to have supper with them after work – how he had avoided her gaze at certain questions being asked – how he never told her anything about the company. But her mother seemed to think nothing of it, her friend Amy found it normal too…both had laughed at her, when she brought up this topic. Did Cal trust her? The older Mr. Hockley always spoke so highly of his deceased wife. Would Cal do praise her too in a similar situation? While she had no doubts he had feelings for her, she always felt as if she needed to prove herself in front of him.

While recovering from the alcohol lately she had had to admit to herself that it was mainly her doing the talking – they had been far from having a conversation. They probably never would. Cal wasn't the type of person to express his dispositions to anybody and she was accomplished to not having any. In his presence and even more so in her mother's she was constantly playacting…she hadn't even realized it until she had met with Mr. Dawson.

"Sometimes, when we're young we tend to make the wrong decisions…I certainly did, but we shouldn't be ashamed…after all that's the process of…," Lucille looked at Rose wanting to know, if she was still listening "…anyway a good husband understands the needs of his wife and supports her…Cosmo always does…even more so he reads my mind…we're perfectly complement to each other…"

Rose gulped. If her intention had been to alienate her further she had definitely been successful.

"Don't repeat the faults of your mother. Make your own," she smiled unexpectedly standing up. "Now enough of this talk, before I really get depressed…why don't we return to our circle…all this gossiping has made me hungry," she took a few steps towards the house, but stopped once she noticed that Rose wasn't following.

"Rose?"

"I can't imagine Cal encouraging my wish to design lingerie. I mean I don't want to sound…I'm sure it's an honourable profession and…thank you for your present…," Rose stammered.

Lucille had retaken her seat.

"Rose, dear, what's wrong with you?"

"Nothing, I…," she wanted to sound stern, but her voice betrayed her. "It's just…the wedding and…," without even realizing it hot tears began streaming down her face. "I'm sorry…I shouldn't have…," she took out a handkerchief wiping away her tears.

Lucille was aware of the fact that Rose was having more than just wedding jitters. She was hiding something, not only from everyone else, but from herself as well.

"Why don't we meet sometime next week, before I need to head back to New York? I don't know the city very well and could really use some company. I'm sure you know all kind of fascinating places. You could tell me a little bit about your study experiences and I'm eager to hear, if you've already made some efforts with your acting…"

_I've been studying? Mother has really allowed me to enter university? _

She had noted already that she had an interest in the arts and obviously in the theatre as well…probably even more so…she loved being another person, pretending to be someone else. If only she could remember when she had seen this sky before, these stars…she recalled herself telling someone of Mrs. Lucille's profession and she evoked giggling slightly at the mentioning. It was all very clear now. She had been here before, just not at this place. But she had looked up at the sky, the stars, even witnessed a shooting star. When her mother had told her about the lingerie, she had instantly known it was true. If only her mind wouldn't mind like a sieve. If only she would be able to place all these remembrance together so they would start to make some sense. Frankly she didn't want to return to the party, she wasn't prepared for anymore monotonous talking. She would rather sleep or better spent a whole day with Cal or with…shaking her head trying vainly to persuade herself once again that it couldn't be she started smiling at Lucille.

"I would love to," she nodded in agreement, before both rose up walking back to the hotel.


	22. Chapter 22

The Philadelphian train station was full of people arriving and leaving. Jack quietly poked along not very engrossed in anything, while Molly was in her element doing some window shopping. In between she had bought a few journals, stuffing them into her handbag. Jack didn't pay much attention to where he went and occasionally bumped into all kinds of people, most of them were of course not really thrilled.

"Jack, dear, I think it's best, if we eat something. We still got an hour before we need to board the train. I'm very hungry."

Their luggage and Molly's cats, including the new one, Nefertiti, were already on the train, given to some train worker, whom Molly had paid a little sum. Jack hadn't even thought of protesting, his thoughts where elsewhere.

'_Mr. Dawson, we both knew that we would've to part one day.'_

_Her voice had actually been steady. She had been much more confident than Jack had expected her to be. The wonderful place they had met first had at once turned into one of grief for him. When Jack had tried reasoning with her about Cal, her memory loss and everything she had just ignored his objections. _

'_How do you know that…that he's telling you the truth?' he had muttered realizing it was a risk to talk ill about her fiancé at this stage. _

_She might misinterpret it._

_Luckily Rose hadn't really seemed to mind, but still hadn't understood what he truly wanted to tell her. Himself knowing he had obviously lost for the moment, he had become even depressed, when he got the read the papers the next day – they had published a huge of photo of Rose and Cal – and Rose indeed looked at him like she was deeply in love with him._

Jack still wondered when he would wake up from this nightmare.

Maybe it wasn't a dream?

"Would you like some pizza? It's been while since I've got some."

"Mmmh…," Jack mumbled not caring at all.

The church clock was striking eight, most restaurants being occupied with wealthy people having their morning coffee. Although his clothes had changed, Jack nonetheless felt out of place. Whatever he wore or did, he knew he would never belong in this world.

He recalled when he had travelled alone and afterwards together with Fabrizio. How they never had had enough money, how every day had been a struggle for survival. For sure he had made it sound like a big adventure to Rose, when he had told her of this travels – but in fact it was hard and tough. Everyone at dinner had laughed, when he had mentioned sleeping under a bridge before winning the tickets – of course they had. They couldn't even envision such a life. He had made it seem like fun, when in fact it was the contrary.

'_And you find that rootless existence appealing, do you Mr. Dawson?'_

In a way Ruth had been correct. Rose didn't deserve this existence.

Maybe Molly had been right? Maybe Rose was right? Her face clearly hadn't looked sad after she had informed him about her decision. Or was it just his imagination, because he would be hurt less, if he convinced himself that she was happy? Nonsense! She wasn't ecstatic. She couldn't be. She was living with a man, who was hiding the truth from her, a mother, who had sold her off to the highest bidder.

"I hope you're not angry with me for shooing you out of bed so early today?" Molly stopped for a while gazing at Jack, who only shrugged his shoulders.

He was used to much earlier times. Many times he had been woken up by some beggars or even criminals, who had tried to steal their things – often being successful.

"This one would be great. Don't you think?"

Both got seated and Molly waved for a waiter asking him what he could recommend. Afterwards Molly ordered a coffee and a cake, deciding that it was after all too early for a pizza, while Jack only had some orange juice. In fact he would have preferred some alcohol, but he didn't want to look like some addict. Not surprisingly Molly did most of the talking.

"You will love Denver, Jack. It's very vibrant city and…my family they will overjoyed to finally meet you in person. I already mentioned you several times in my letters."

_Against his better judgement he had later on indeed tried to argue with her. For sure it hadn't been very flourishing._

'_He's my fiancé. He wouldn't do anything to upset me. I don't know what issues you've got with him, Mr. Dawson, but I can assure you that he never did anything inappropriate. He always treats me with utter respect.'_

_Time had stood still for a moment as he had been staring into Rose's eyes. She had never looked at him like this – like he was her nemesis. He had muttered something along the lines of sorry and that he didn't mean it, didn't want to annoy her. He doubted Rose was really angry. She wasn't the type of person to hold a grudge against anybody for long. However, on his way home he had been barely able to think straight. _

_What should he do, if they really married? _

_What if Rose never got her memory back? _

_What if Hockley could persuade her of his love before she did recover? _

_What if she really loved him?_

_Jack was sure that he would never allow her a divorce. She would be stuck with him forever. Then again what did he have to offer her? Perhaps it was better the way it was now? _

_Once at home he had taken out all of the drawings he had made of Rose and for Rose – the ones of Cora, Tommy, Fabrizio and all the others – and had torn them to pieces, the remaining's of which he had subsequently thrown into the fire. _

_He couldn't bear to see her face now. _

"My grandson is so sweet. You're going to be a great addition to the family. You may practise on him for the time when…," she stopped, when she noticed his deadpan expression. "…anyway I believe spending a while alone without…," she cleared her throat "…will be healing for you…you've to get your mind off of her…"

Jack was just pleased she didn't add something like – _other mothers have pretty daughters as well_. This would've been too much for him to handle at the moment. While Jack sipped on his orange juice, Molly grabbed the portfolio he was always carrying with him, wanting to take a look at his drawings. She gasped, when she found nothing, but some blank sheets of paper.

"Jack, what happened to all your work?"

"Oh, this…I…I forget them since we left in such a hurry…"

Molly searched his eyes not really knowing what to think. Somehow Jack had been acting so strange the whole day long. She reached for his hand, trying to read his mind. If only he would open up some more when it came to talking about his own problems.

"Once we're in Denver…," she began, but looking into Jack's eyes she instantly closed her mouth.

He wouldn't listen now.

"Don't worry about your work…you can always make new memories…"

…_.with some other woman…_

She didn't dare question him about his meeting with Rose, knowing that in his current state it would neither of them do any good. Instead she started taking in her surroundings, her eyes coming to rest on a souvenir shop across the street.

"Waiter, waiter…the bill please…," she yelled remembering something.

"Coming ma'am…"

Molly hurriedly paid for everything and then got up with Jack following her leaving his glass still half‑full.

"Something not right? I thought the train wouldn't leave before…," he asked tripping after her.

"Oh nothing to concern yourself with…it's simply that I completely forgot to buy some souvenirs…my daughter-in-law is collecting postcards and…but you can stay here if you want…I'll be back in a minute…"

"No, I'll be coming with you…," he quietly strolled into the shop as well.

Frankly he wasn't interested in anything just now, least of all buying postcards, but he neither wanted to wait for Molly and have all people staring at him. Inside the shop, Molly took all kinds of things and since she had never been good at choosing she simply decided to get them all. The owner would surely be pleased about it.

"Anybody here?" she shouted. "Jack, don't just stand there… get something too...as a reminder…don't worry about the money…," she urged him. "Hey somebody here…"

"I'm sorry, Ma'am, we're very busy today," an elder woman came out from behind. "What can I do for you?"

"I just want to pay for…," she started, but she noticed something else behind the woman. "Can you show me these books on the shelve?"

"Of course, Ma'am…these are albums showing various pictures of the city."

While Molly was buying up what seemed like the whole shop Jack had gone wandering around a bit, looking at everything.

_Jack had grabbed his jacket as soon as the drawings had been burned down to ashes, running around in the city, not minding that it was cold and dark – even better this way he wouldn't meet anyone. He couldn't stomach to see someone smiling. He had come past several pubs, but other than a few beers he had nothing. Still Molly must've noticed something, probably smelled the alcohol, as she had looked at him a little disdainfully afterwards. _

_At breakfast they had barely spoken two words together and not soon after Molly had gone out only to return with train tickets for Denver. _

"Sir, can I help you with…," Jack turned at the sound of a young woman speaking to him. He was about to reply and stopped, when he noted, who it was.

"Jack?" the girl got out clearly surprised of seeing him here. "Hey, what are you doing here? I thought you were still travelling around somewhere in Europe. Whatever brought you here?" she happily smiled at him about to hug him.

"Miss Howe…where the hell is this girl…?"

"Sorry, I've to go…my boss…she's very strict…," she giggled winking at Jack knowingly, who returned the laugh unenthusiastically.

Molly was ready to go and asked Jack one last time, if he really didn't want anything, but he declined once more. He hated already having lived so long on her money; he didn't want to spend any more of hers.

"Can you wrap this one up as a present?"

"Sure, Ma'am…"

The girl gazed round trying to make out where Jack had disappeared to. She didn't have to wait long as he soon came to stand beside the rich woman she was just serving and was even more stunned, when she noted that they obviously knew each other. She smiled at him and Molly smiled back thinking it had applied to her.

"Have a nice day, Ma'am. Thank you and come again!"

Molly looked, if anyone was seeing her and when she couldn't make out anyone, she slipped a five-dollar-note into the girls coat pocket, gazing at her meaningfully. For sure she wasn't allowed to take extra tips.

"Buy yourself something…," she whispered towards her.

"My pleasure…"

She made a curtsy, receiving a grin from Jack, who marvelled where she had learned this. She waved after him, blowing him a kiss, careful so that Molly wouldn't see.

….

"What did you buy?" Jack questioned her more out of politeness than of real interest and therefore only half-listened to her answer.

Molly took out some journals to read, while Jack settled against the backrest. For sure Molly stumbled upon the article of Cal's and Rose's wedding reception. Looking at Jack she realized what had made him so sad the whole time.

_Poor boy…_

"Jack...you can't hold this against her…"

Jack signed. For once he simply really wanted to forget her. Rose had made it clear to him that she wanted nothing more to do with him. He should just accept her decision and move on. Certainly Denver would be full of beautiful girls too. However, his own convincing didn't prove to be very fruitful.

"I'm not holding it against her…it's simply…"

"What Jack?"

He closed his eyes for a second, wondering himself what he should tell her. Yes indeed – what was his problem now? If he wanted her then why was he sitting here with Molly and not trying to get her back and if he didn't then why was he so depressed?

At the moment he couldn't think straight and decided it was best not to say anything.

"You know, Jack, pictures can deceive…I'm sure what we see here is not how she really feels…"

'_Mr. Dawson, if you want to tell me something please do it now, but I warn you I won't let you talk ill about my fiancé. He's an honourable and decent man…he loves me and cares for me…' she had almost screamed at him. _

_Not wanting to anger or provoke her any further Jack had remained silent. After a while they had even started laughing together once more with Rose in fact apologizing for her outrageous unladylike behaviour before. _

_Jack had joined in, but it hadn't been the same as before. Something was missing between them now and he wanted it back. _

'_We'll remain friends, Mr. Dawson, right?'_

_Though saying yes – Jack didn't want to be just friends with her. He couldn't stand seeing her married to Caledon Hockley or any other man. _

Pictures could betray one's eyes yes, but her words hadn't sounded very deceitful to him.

"Jack, come on, smile some more…," Molly urged him making grimaces.

She wasn't used to him being sad the whole time. It was not only bad for him, in fact it made her angry too.

"Look at me, Jack. I really can't stand your behaviour any longer. You're acting like some lunatic, like a bratty little child. So Rose told you something you didn't want to hear. Fine…leave it…you knew all along that it wouldn't be easy…but damn Jack it isn't going to get any better just because you refuse to face the facts and act like it's all her fault….," Molly burst out at last having gotten his full attention.

Jack was stunned. He hadn't even known she could scream like this.

"I never said it was her fault and I'm not angry with her…it's only…"

"It's only that you think the whole world is against you, because for once you haven't succeeded with charming over the girl you want. Now at least act like a man and move on! Or don't, but please stop this lamenting for once!"

The whole crowd began looking at them, making Molly lower her voice a little bit.

"I can't let him…"

"What Jack, win? Rose is no possession, she's her own person and I thought you of all people had understood this. I know you care about her and only want her best…you probably really have a little crush on her, but tell me Jack now many other girls…"

"Molly?!" Jack was flabbergasted at her request. "I never said that Rose was...is...my possession. Unlike him I never wanted to control her life. I love her."

Molly shook her head wanting so much to believe him.

"I see and that's why you were flirting with this girl in the shop yes?" Molly asked him not really caring for an answer. "You thought I hadn't noticed, didn't you?"

"Alright, fine…I'm sorry…I didn't want to act like…it's just that…sometimes I don't know what…"

"You don't know what you really want? Is it that? Jack, I'm no fool, I've also been young once too and believe me I thought myself in love more than once, but at least I had my family to stop me from making a wrong decision and to support me…"

"Real love needs to be build up in a long way, Jack and…I'm sorry to say it like this, but I don't think that two weeks is a very long time…I know you care deeply about Rose…I do too and I just as much don't want her see married to Caledon Hockley as you do…but living together means much more than just running around on a ship."

"I know this Molly…I know everything of it and want a life with her and…"

_Why did you even support me on the Titanic, when you're now seemingly against our relationship?_

Jack was really annoyed at the moment.

"Jack, just one time don't think about what's best for you. Think about her. I know you, Jack, I realize how you hate living of charity and all…how did to actually plan to make a living for both of you?"

"I would've thought of something."

"Jack, we're not talking about some town girl here. Rose grew up in luxury and although she may say differently, I'm pretty sure she isn't very keen on sleeping in a cold wooden house or even…"

"I would never let her sleep under a bridge!" Jack protested. "Rose doesn't deserve this."

"Jack, Jack…calm down…I realize this. I simply wanted to get you to go back over some parts here…on the Titanic you made her believe your life so all fun and everything, but we both know that it isn't…," she reached out for his hand wanting to tell him that she was on his side after all, that he could rely on her.

Jack gazed out of the window, the houses, trees and people beginning to move slowly. They were leaving Philadelphia. This couldn't be. All of a sudden all of Molly's talk before started to make sense and he realized what he needed to do.

At once Jack jumped up quickly grabbing his portfolio, startling Molly.

"What's wrong with you? Jack I didn't want…"

"No don't worry. I'm not mad with you…in fact you opened my eyes…"

"Jack, what are you talking about?"

"I'm leaving."

"What?" Molly's eyes went wide.

"Yes, you were right about me not knowing anything about her, but I won't get to know her any better, if I'm coming to Denver with you now…," Jack told her in a hurry making his way towards the exit.

He had to act fast as the train was already picking up speed.

"Wait…wait…I didn't mean for you to…," she shouted after him and then followed him, when she noted she couldn't stop him. "Where are you going to live? Here at least…," she tried to give him some cash.

"No, I don't want your money…as you said…I hate living of charity," he shoved her hand away without even looking at it. "…the girl from the shop…her name is Sally and I…now I know her…she and I…we're…friends…," Molly couldn't help, but notice now he had stressed out the last word, but for once she didn't comment. "I can live with her."

If he wanted it this way she wouldn't stop him. Jack was old enough to know what it was doing. He could take care of himself.

"I guess I can't convince you of the contrary…"

Jack shook his head.

"Fine then at least promise me to write. Will you? You've got my address."

"Of course…," he nodded "…and Rose and I will come to visit you in Denver once we're…," he grinned at her roguishly receiving a slap on his back from Molly as if to indeed to shove him off the train.

As the train was leaving the station, Jack waited there waving at Molly, who gesticulated back. She hoped that she had made the right decision by letting him go.

Once the train had disappeared from his view, Jack made his way back to the souvenir shop.


	23. Chapter 23

At closing time Daphne, Alejandro and Tracy had decided to go for a drink to entertain themselves a little. During work they usually didn't have the time to actually speak with each other. This one proved to be a tell-all evening and while Alejandro and Tracy had happily poured out their news, Daphne was less eager to do so. She hated this truth or dare thing as it made her in way feel naked – being jealous of Tracy for her open personality.

"So when's the wedding due?" Tracy asked sounding as excited as can be.

"You know my wife will cook a whole dinner for everyone…for free…"

Daphne smiled at both of them. They were trying to cheer her up and she should be grateful for it. She still loved Matthew, but for some weeks now it hadn't been the same as before. However, when questioned about it she wouldn't be able to voice out any problem.

"You two are so sweet," Daphne smiled.

"We're your friends. That's what friends are for. By the way Mr. Stevenson has agreed for you and him to use the café for your wedding party," Tracy informed her seemingly expecting Daphne to jump up in gratitude.

"That's great to hear," she began giving the impression of being anything but enthusiastic "…but we haven't set a date yet."

"What? Why not?"

"Well it's not…you know my job and…his job…he's always away and…it just isn't easy for us to settle on a date," she stammered not sure herself why nothing was prepared so far. "Matthew is taking his occupation very serious," she sounded like she needed to find some excuses.

Of course they had made a list of whom to invite, what they would've to order, Daphne had tried on some wedding dresses. However, then Matthew had gotten a job in New York and another one in Boston and afterwards came his idea with the Amundsen interview and Daphne hadn't seen him for two weeks straight.

"But you love him, don't you?"

"Sure, yes…," this time she was honest.

She did love him. He made her laugh and they shared many familiar interests including their passion for newspapers, though hers was more about reading them.

"Then why is it so…," Tracy stopped, when she noted that Daphne wasn't looking at her anymore, but past her over to the counter. "Isn't this the infamous Mr. Hockley?" she wondered turning around.

"And who's the other one?" Alejandro added.

For once Daphne was glad that Jack had declined coming with them although she hadn't understood anything of it. Two days ago he had come to talk to Mr. Stevenson seemingly telling him something about wanting to quiet the job – for what reason neither of them had understood, least not Jack himself as it appeared. And today he had been there again looking somehow drenched and had begged their employer to give him his work back.

Luckily Mr. Stevenson was a strict, but when it mattered also a very nonchalant boss. He had simply patted Jack on the shoulder and told that he shouldn't try this for a second time.

"I've no idea," Daphne began as finally Cal's eyes and hers met.

Though she tried to hide behind Alejandro she realized it was no use. Cal came towards her the other man following him closely.

"Miss Gilman, what a nice surprise," he smirked.

_Well I too could think of someone else I would rather meet. _

"Mr. Hockley…"

The other one moved forward about to introduce himself his eyes resting more on Daphne's and Tracy's breasts than on their eyes. Alejandro was reluctant to leave them alone with these two, but he promised his wife he wouldn't be too late.

"You've to be careful what you tell her, Tyrell. She's Mr. Weingartner's fiancée."

"Oh dear lord," Tyrell uttered burying his head in his glass of beer.

Cal had agreed to come here only after the exchange with his father had been less than encouraging. At the moment however, he was angry. His supposed friend had started to flirt with the other girl called Tracy, a colleague of Daphne – filling up her glass again and again. They were openly laughing together – Tyrell ostensibly not caring that his wife was at home waiting for him.

Cal found this behaviour – least of all in public – disgusting and noticing Daphne rolling her eyes he could tell that she did too.

"No…more…Mr. Jenkins," Tracy giggled clearly having a little bit too much already.

Tyrell had started with nuzzling on her neck making her shriek out a bit and protesting half-heartedly, but she was quickly on with it as well twisting her hands playfully in his hair.

Cal and Daphne shared a look both seemingly thinking the same – how could their friends stoop so low, getting drunk in front of everyone? He had thought that Tyrell would be there for him, listening to his problems for once, while Daphne nervously rocked back and forth on her chair, hoping Tracy wouldn't come up with Jack's name.

"So you're in steel business too, Mr. Jenkins?"

Tyrell nodded. In fact wanting something else from her – Daphne intended to stop her, when she saw Tracy standing up and Mr. Jenkins walking after her, but Cal grabbed her hand.

"Mr. Hockley…"

"I believe your friend knows what she's doing."

This was probably right. Though drunk a little Tracy was used to alcohol and this wasn't the first time she had been dragged off by somebody and frankly she could've done worse now – Tyrell Jenkins wasn't this badly looking.

"I'm sorry," she muttered gazing at her glass of juice.

She always refused to have alcohol, when going out, wanting to retain a clear mind. After all one could never be sure what kind of people you would meet and she wanted to be prepared. In a way Tracy could count herself lucky that so far nothing bad had happened to her.

"Why, Miss Gilman?"

_It's not your fault your friend is acting like a whore. _

Her moody state had still wrapped up on him.

_An evening in a pub – what a waste that was…_

Now he knew once more, why he never been eager to visit one. And beer – whatever was the whole world finding in this awful, bitter taste?

"I think I should go too," Daphne stated getting her things together and was about to move over the bar to pay for the rest of her drinks plus the ones Tracy had consumed. "It's pretty late."

She just hoped she would get the money back later on, though she doubted it. Tracy was never one to budget and was normally at low ebb.

"How much…?"

"I'm paying," Cal announced tossing the barkeeper the first note he could find which happened to be much more than the bill represented.

Cal didn't care. He was too tired and worn out. He took Daphne's hand and led her over to the door.

"But Sir…Sir…your change…," the barkeeper razed after him.

"Forget it," Cal mumbled.

"Thank you Sir…," he apparently couldn't believe his luck.

Once outside Daphne was about to leave, when Cal stopped her again. His protective instinct was aroused. He wouldn't let a helpless woman go home alone at this time of the day. There was so much that could happen.

"I'm coming with you," he declared and at seeing Daphne's shocked face he continued. "…I mean…I can't let you walk back on your own."

…

Jack waited outside of the souvenir shop for Sally to finish her deposit. Yesterday he had slept at Alejandro's playing with his son, but both had agreed that their home would be too small for three adults and a child. Sally had assured him that she would help out and Jack was sure she would keep that promise.

"Hello, Jack…nice to have you back…," she greeted him with a kiss on his cheek and a hug.

They were walking silently side by side, passing several streets and domiciles – the surroundings getting poorer and shoddier on their way with Jack being immediately reminded about his place in society. Sally hadn't changed much, she still had that slim figure, her blonde hair tied in a braid behind her head and she had preserved herself that certain excitement – always able to cheer Jack up.

"I'm living with my grandfather now," she told him, while they entered a corner and got out her keys. "If I can manage I will make a duplicate for you…but you know the money…"

Jack simply nodded. He didn't recall her having a grandfather, but then again maybe she had just never mentioned him.

"Quiet, he's by now most probably sleeping…," Sally shushed him. "Home sweet, Home!"

"So this is my…I mean our cosy little household…come see…," she took his hand "…here's the kitchen…this one's Horatio's room…," Jack guessed this must be the grandfather "…oh and it even has a small bathroom…you're aware how rare they are, don't you? I know you guys don't mind so much about sharing one with others, but as a girl I tell you it's much more comfortable, when…"

Jack laughed a bit that her enthusiasm. This was what he had missed for the pass weeks, someone who knew him well enough so that he wouldn't have any problems with sharing some secret with. She would understand.

"Sally…I…," Jack felt he needed to stop her for her moment.

"Ah…yes of course…this one here is yours…"

Sure the room wasn't big, but it contained a middle-sized bed, a table and a chair and a small cabinet. In fact Jack was very impressed. It had been long since he had had such a nice chamber with the right amount of female touch in it.

"We can switch rooms, if you want…mine is more suffused with light…I mean, because of your drawings…"

"No…no…it's perfect…," Jack objected "…I prefer to go out anyway…," he said exploring it further.

This one was so much better then so many other places he had been to. It was pleasant and clean, even quiet considering in what neighbourhood it was located and so far Jack hadn't even made out any drunkards on the steps.

As it happened, when they were about to exit the room at once and bumped into each other, both started chuckling.

"After you…," Jack motioned with his arm into the direction of the kitchen figuring this would the place to have their talk.

He realized he had to get it over with anyway and would better do it now.

"Should I make us something to eat…or some tea?" she started preparing everything without awaiting an answer.

"Let me help…," Jack got up not wanting to be one of those men, who only got home for sleeping and eating. After all Sally was returning from a hard day of work too.

It couldn't be very nice working for that awful woman.

"So, well now…tell me what you've been up to the last months and tell me everything about Europe…"

"Can I ask you something first?" Jack interrupted her realizing that his one would take more time and when he felt her nod he continued "…I don't remember that you were having a grandfather…"

Sally giggled a bit.

"I knew you would realize it."

"Realize what?"

"My little white lie….indeed…he isn't my grandfather…we both met some months ago right after you had left for Europe and it simply proved to be less complicated to get a flat together instead of…so well we told everyone he was my grandfather…not wanting people to gossip…," she explained.

"So he's having a job too?"

"Only sporadically…"

"But then I don't understand why…I mean a smaller one would've been much easier to be paid for and…"

Sally stood up as if to wash the dishes in the sink, but Jack instantly understood that for whatever reason she was in a great distress and rose up as well coming to standing behind her putting his arms around her waist from behind.

He noticed some tears dwelling up in her eyes and started wiping them away, Sally was leaning against his chest, closing her eyes for a while, enjoying the warm feeling that was overcoming her, while he was planting kiss after kiss on her head. This was one was Jack indeed.

"No one would give a single girl a room…they all thought I would just use it for…well you know…," she wriggled out of his embrace looking up at him. "Oh Jack…I…."

"Sally, I'm sorry…I didn't mean to…," he muttered not really knowing what to tell her. "…hurt you…"

Seeing her in distress was something he wasn't used to, something he hadn't expected at all.

"I know…I know…," she smiled a bit giving him another quick kiss, this time on his lips to assure him she was well again, before sitting back down at the table. "Now tell me about your adventures…you mentioned some friends in your last letter…Fabrizio, right? Why didn't he come with you?"

Jack frowned at hearing the name. So now was the moment of truth.

…

"I can't imagine, Rose and I walking so calmly…," Cal began not knowing what else to say at the moment.

Talking about Tyrell and this Tracy was not the conversation he wanted to have with a decent woman, which Daphne obviously was.

"Mr. Hockley, I…," Daphne cut herself short; when she noted that he had stopped walking.

Something was off beam here. She could tell it without even asking him. His usual self-confidence was gone completely. For a moment she felt sorry for him. It couldn't be good to live in the shallow environment he was part of. No wonder Rose too had looked for comfort elsewhere. She wondered how his life might have turned out, how he might have turned out, if he had had some doting parents and lovely friends instead of business partners and servants.

"Rose has been wonderful the past days…"

Now Daphne was completely flabbergasted. Why would this be a problem? She had assumed he would be happy about it. Hadn't he just lately complained about how she was having so little time for him? Whatever did he really want?

"Mr. Hockley I don't want to be…," she didn't want to be rude, but she was tired from working all day, moreover it was getting cold and surely her parents were already waiting impatiently for her to return. "…my father is always very adamant about me getting back before it's entirely dark."

"Your father is right about you. Young girls need to be protected."

"I'm no young girl," she snapped at him her hand flowing up to slap him, but Cal blocked her arm.

He took a deep breath. One way or another he never seemed to find the right words with women, always saying something that obviously infuriated them. He had simply told her that he supported her father. What was wrong with this now?

"You need to be more careful with what you say. No woman wants to be treated like a possession…," she told him having calmed down again.

She knew that what he wanted to tell her was important and couldn't be clarified in two sentences in the middle of the street.

"Rose is sometimes so hard to understand…"

"I guess all women are…," Daphne started sniggering and was surprised, when a little smile appeared on his face. "…Rose can be difficult…I realize this…but at least I know how to handle her…"

"Well then maybe you could tell me too…I mean how to handle her?" Cal got out in a rush his worldly demeanour having totally vanished.

They had reached Daphne's home by now and as soon as she could be seen from the house, a window opened and her father shouted outside "…get in here this instant, young lady! You're overdue once more…"

Cal was standing close by the gate and couldn't be perceived from inside.

"Your father is very strict…," he lowered his voice in a way finding the situation interesting.

"Yes, he always has Tracy in mind…"

_I can imagine. I would be strict as well, if I had such a daughter._

But this time he didn't reply anything not wanting to anger her any more. He would rather part with her having a good mood and memory about him.

"I'm sorry, but…my father…"

"Of course…of course…I understand…"

"Mr. Hockley…"

"Miss Gilman…" they both got out in unison smiling a bit at each other afterwards. "You first," he began.

"I simply wanted to thank you for…well for…"

"It was my pleasure. I hope I don't get into trouble now…with your fiancé I mean…"

Daphne laughed again. For once she had completely forgotten about Matthew.

"Don't worry, I won't mention a word," she reassured him. "And now you…," she urged him.

"Well I have to…there's something I would like to talk with you about… it's some very important matter. Maybe you could come visit me tomorrow after your work…that is…if you've time…"

This was probably the first time Daphne had actually heard him asking nicely for something he wanted instead of simply demanding it. Though she would better not interfere in his life, she couldn't help but be curious about what he intended to speak with her about.

…..

Telling everyone else would've been hard and would've taken a long time, he would've had to search for the right words and expressions, but with Sally it was surprisingly – or not surprisingly very easy.

"The Titanic? Woah, Jack, now you do come around," she commented not appearing much shaken.

"Is this all you've to say in this?" Jack was stunned.

Here he was having just told her about being part of the most tragic maritime catastrophe in history and all she had to say was – _you do come around_?

"Jack, I'm sorry for your loss…I'm sure you miss your friend and I would've loved to meet him, but honestly my main concern is not about a drowned vessel at the moment…," she stood up obtaining herself another glass of water to drink.

"But?"

"About the rent for instance…it's due in a week…"

Jack looked up at her. Though having wanted to hear another reaction, he shouldn't have expected anything else from her. She was like him, like Fabrizio had been, she was joyful at heart, but also practical and rational thinking, when needed. Indeed she was a survivor as well.

"Jack, the ship is gone…there is no use to dwell about it now…I'm sure you've been in other difficult situations too…you should simply be glad that you got out alive and…now well go on with your life…"

Knowing how Sally had had a hard youth as well he couldn't do much more, but to nod in approval. Still he had to tell her about Rose as well or else his story wouldn't be finished.

"Sally I…"

"Yes? Something else?"

Jack sighed deeply before continuing. He told her everything about Rose, Cal, her memory loss – not even sparing the details of them making love in the Renault.

"The lady in the shop was this famous Molly Brown?" even Sally had heard of her though she was hardly ever reading any society papers.

"She's been a friend of mine…she wanted to give me some money, but I refused…I couldn't…"

"I know…I would've too….and this Rose, did you…are you…?" she couldn't bring herself to say it out aloud.

Frankly this girl must be a handful. From first class he had said, and she obviously didn't know what she was giving away – choosing some rich jerk over Jack – now really, what a fool. For this reason alone Sally didn't have much sympathy for Rose.

"Jack, you're crazy chasing a girl of first class, who's engaged and much more to one of those rich idiots…," she took his hand in her with her other one forcing his chin up. "Look at me Jack…whatever will happen…will happen…right now we've to worry about the money and the payment for the flat…"

"Yeah…I know…"

"Well how much are you being paid?"

"Ten dollars a week…and you?"

"Only six…the lady is very nasty and materialistic…I know she must've plenty of cash, but she refuses to give her employees anything of the cake…"

"I can imagine."

"Now the rent is twenty dollars a month…so this should be no problem now. I might even quit my other job."

"You've another?"

"Sometimes I'm helping out in a bar," she told him. "I needed the money."

"The one we passed by?" he wanted to know feeling her nod. It had looked shabby even from the outside. "Oh Sally…I'm not very happy to hear this…you shouldn't be out in such a place alone…these people…"

"I've met people much worse!" she hissed. "…sorry…I…well you could take a second one too…would make it even easier…"

"You're right yes. I will start looking through the ads tomorrow," he got up from his chair yawning gazing at Sally once more. So much had happened since the time they had parted.

When Sally had rejected to come to Europe with him he had at first been angry, but now he was glad about it – otherwise she might be dead as well.

"I'm going to go to bed…," he spoke up as if his yawn hadn't been confirmation enough that he was tired. "Sally…I…I just wanted to…"

"Yes, I know…it's been a long time for me too…I haven't been faithful to you as well...Brad and I…"

So Brad it was. Jack had never had much empathy for this guy, disliking him from the start, finding him dumb and lazy.

"Let's just see how things are developing, alright?" he grinned at her.

"Alright," she smiled back amazed, when he leaned in and gave her a kiss on her cheek.

She watched him leaving the room, wondering once more how this Rose could've let him go.


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Thanks for reviewing especially to Giftpilz and spikessweetgirl75.**

**I would love to see some reviews from the people, who favorited/are following this story (and of course from everyone else reading it). Come on people. Tell me what you think. I won't bite.**

* * *

Lucille, Rose, Amy and Ruth were exploring the city together. Lucille had to go back to New York in a week and they wanted to show her around. Lucille would've been comfortable with Rose alone, but for whatever reason Ruth had insisted on coming with them, something that Lucille hadn't really understood. Later on they had accidentally met Amy Jenkins, who had joined their small gathering.

Rose was once again awfully quiet, while Amy and Ruth were doing most of the talking, obviously having very much fun together. Amy always seemed to know what to tell Ruth and how to please her. They had taken a tour through the town hall before and afterwards been to the historical museum of the city. Lucille had slowed down a bit with Rose coming to walk by her side.

"Rose, dear, don't you want to tell me what's disturbing you?"

Lucille noted how instead of looking at her her eyes were focused on Ruth and Amy, who were laughing together the whole time. Amy clearly had hit a mark with Ruth and in a way Lucille felt sorry for Rose, for it appeared to her that Amy combined all those character traits that Ruth actually hoped to see in her daughter. She had made the perfect marriage to one of the wealthiest man in Philadelphia, was well spoken of in high society and moreover she exuded an aura of dignity and conscious.

"It's complicated," Rose mumbled twisting around her fingers obviously nervous.

Throughout the whole exhibition of the historic museum Rose had explained a lot of interesting things to her about Philadelphia and some famous inhabitants of the city, she had told her that Philadelphia was Greek meaning _brotherly love_ – that it had been founded by William Penn an English Quaker, how Benjamin Franklin grew up and lived there and how slavery was abolished in the state of Pennsylvania in the late 18th century.

Rose was an intelligent young woman. The problem with this was that her mother not only gave not much commendation to it, but even worse she had looked like to be ashamed for her daughter – her personality having shown once more, when Rose had corrected their guide several times. Ruth had smirked several times and coughed in a way to expose her embarrassment.

"Is it about your marriage?" Lucille guessed.

She remembered the talk with Ruth on the Titanic about the invitations and Rose's lack of curiosity in anything concerning the wedding. Though she had smiled a lot, while hanging on Mr. Hockley's arm, Lucille had realized quickly this was mostly for trying to make it up to her mother.

"In a way…yes…"

Rose didn't want to reveal the truth to her. She didn't want anyone to know about her confusion, her worries, her sadness, least of all to this stranger even though she was apparently the friend of her mother.

"Oh, dear, I knew it would eventually turn out like this," Lucille slightly touched her arm in an attempt to comfort her. "…your mother can be very insistent, when it comes to her needs and wants…I told her several times that she had to take it easy and give to some time to adjust to growing up, but well…," she laughed a bit trying to ease the situation. "Ruth loves you. She's a good mother. Sometimes she just isn't good a displaying it."

If only it would be this.

_She had met up with Mr. Dawson some days ago as she needed to make him understand a few things._

'_Mr. Dawson, I do believe it would be better, if we don't see each other for a while.' _

_He had looked sad and told her how she had to know the truth before making a wrong decision, but she hadn't even let him finish his sentence – telling him that whatever he would say to her now she would still marry Mr. Hockley._

_Somehow he had freaked out after this almost screaming at her that she didn't know anything about her fiancé. Then he wanted to tell her something about Cal, but she had stopped him just in time. She knew he wasn't very fond of her betrothed, but whatever resentments he had it didn't give him the right to talk ill about Cal._

'_I won't let you discredit Cal,' she had shouted back afterwards apologizing for her outburst and then they had started laughing together._

_Still Mr. Dawson seemed to have changed since then. _

_Her request was only meant half-heartedly and yet he hadn't tried to contact her anymore and had stopped with answering her secret letters. While she was on one side happy that he wasn't bothering her anymore, on the other hand she wondered, if he was indeed mad at her – or even worse, if he hated her now._

_She didn't want him to hate her. She had almost asked him to come to her wedding to see for himself that Cal was no bad person, but then had remembered his misgivings about him and had shut her mouth._

"I just…sometimes I'm afraid that I can't be a good wife to Cal and…"

It wasn't an entire lie. She was indeed frightened she would fall short of his expectations. Cal was always so sweet and nice to her, never once complaining about her confused state of mind, buying her all those wonderful things, taking her out to the most exquisite restaurants, smiling at her and being so patient, while she was all the time whiney and lamenting.

She realized she could never be the perfect wife that he wanted.

"Mr. Hockley may seem a bit strict from the outside, but in fact…inwardly he is very uncertain about you as well…"

"He is?" Rose was shocked her eyes showing her bewilderment.

_Cal was unsure about her?_

"Yes indeed…he told me about it on the Titanic once…"

Oh, yes, the Titanic. Rose had tried to forget about that one as it was simply too painful for her to even think of all those dead innocent people, but it seemed like not only the newspapers were constantly reminding her about it.

"He said how he wanted to do everything right with you…and how he feared he could lose you."

"Woah…that's…I never imagined that…," Rose was stunned.

Cal being nervous wasn't something one got to hear every day.

Lucille gazed at the young woman in front of her. She wasn't so eager anymore to hear out her story, but she wanted to try and assist her. Her first marriage had been a total failure and she for sure didn't want for this nice girl to repeat her missteps. The truth was Mr. Hockley's confession in front of her, John Jacob Astor, Molly Brown and some others was more about how hard it was for him to please Rose – but Lucille figured that a little fibbing wouldn't hurt anyone. After all Rose and Mr. Hockley really did make a cute pair.

It had been right after Rose had made the joke about Freud and Ruth had told her off. Later on they had accidentally met on deck, where seemingly Mr. Hockley had felt the need to declare himself.

"…Cal…he's always so…I don't know how to say it…sure of himself and…"

This was it, was what instantly drawing her to him. She felt save in his presence, because he always knew what to say and how to act. She would've never known for instance how to deal with these reporters in New York.

"…but he loves you and only intends your best, dear," Lucille grinned at her. "Mr. Hockley will be a good husband to you."

…

This time Cal didn't waste any minutes with formalities, only sending Miss Vernon to have some cake and coffee ready. Afterwards it was only the two of them in his office. Cal was tense about he wanted to tell her, but glad that his father had left earlier to catch the train to Pittsburgh.

He knew instantly that he wouldn't have agreed with his plans.

Daphne had made herself comfortable on the couch and was dreamily nipping at her coffee. It had been a stressful day of work the whole time. Jack had been back at the job, but had better stayed at home as his mind was everywhere, but at washing dishes. He had smashed up three and it had taken Daphne and Alejandro all the convincing not to make Mr. Stevenson docking off his pay.

To make things even worse Tracy had constantly babbled on about her wonderful night with this Mr. Jenkins. Daphne had fault back the urge to throw up. She didn't mind Tracy's way of living at all, it was her live and she was free to do what she wanted. Daphne wasn't the person to judge anyone – but still, she had no intention to hear anything about it.

"Miss Gilman…?"

"Yes…?" Cal's voice brought her back to reality. "I'm sorry…I had a very nerve-wracking day."

Cal wondered for a moment, if he should just forget about his request and simply sent her home again. She really looked worn out and had bags under her eyes.

"If you want we can skip this for today and…"

"No, I said I would be here and I'm…and to tell you the truth I'm kind of curious about what you want to talk with me about. I guess it has something to do with Rose?"

Cal nodded slowly passing her some papers.

"What's this?" Daphne asked astonished as she took them in her hands.

"Just read it…," Cal started taking a seat in front of her. "I will explain later. But I want to hear your unbiased opinion that's why I can't…"

"Of course, I understand…," Daphne smiled up at him wondering why he was so edgy.

Was he sweating?

She began reading silently at first. The papers contained all kinds of juristic expressions, many of them she wasn't familiar with, but she figured that Mr. Hockley hadn't invited her to describe them to him. After something about the properties his family owned and their company, it started to get more interesting.

"…doesn't provide a male heir in the first two years…this marriage will be null and void…does anything to disgrace the family…will be null and void…in case of money applies the separation of property as stated above…Mr. Caledon Hockley holds full custody of his children and will continue in case of a divorce...otherwise Miss Rose Dewitt Bukater…as in case of widowhood will receive a live long pension in the height of 3000 dollars per year…while married as allowance 200 dollars per month for private disposal..concerning clothes and other non-personal things are to be provided separately…Miss Dewitt Bukater may in case of widowhood choose for herself an estate to live excluding the house in Pittsburgh…she will be getting money in addition to be able to afford the stuff etc. etc…Miss Dewitt Bukater may not travelling for a longer time without asking permission from her husband, Mr. Caledon Hockley or her father-in-law...Miss Dewitt Bukater may not interfere in anything concerning business within the Hockley Steel Company Ltd. nor may she try to buy up stocks of this or any other company or engage herself in anything other than charity and…she holds no rights whatsoever to the Hockley Steel Company Ltd. nor will she ever in the future…," Daphne read out aloud.

Suddenly she knew what this was – a marriage contract. She looked up at Mr. Hockley, who was biting his lip, seemingly expecting that she would begin with the talking and say something to lighten up the awkward situation.

"Is this…?"

"Yes…," he confirmed. "That's a marriage contract…mine and Rose's…"

Daphne was stunned for a while not able to comprehend fully what had just happened. She had known of course that prominent families tended to make up such things, but normally she had thought that this included a compromise for both sides – this one was pure blackmail to Rose. No one in their right mind would put his signature underneath these lines.

"Mr. Hockley if you want to know what I'm thinking then I've to tell you that…"

It was disgusting, it sounded like Rose was some slave.

"No, I knew what you would be thinking, before inviting you here…it's nothing more than putting Rose up as the guilty one in everything…," he laughed agitatedly "…in fact I want something more from you…you've to do me a favour…"

Daphne had a pretty good idea what he wanted to ask her, but she certainly wouldn't give her consent. It was his marriage and he had to do something about it.

"…you've to tell Rose…I mean together with me…of course…," he stammered his face an unmentionable colour his palms clearly sweating.

He was nervous.

"Mr. Hockley, I may be Rose's friend, but don't you think that this is something you've to do on your own…?" she noticed him looking down on the floor quite obviously to avoid her piercing gaze.

"Miss Gilman…believe it or not, but I'm also not very satisfied with this and I…I certainly wouldn't sign it myself, if I were in her place…I could even understand her, if she…"

Daphne was now even more perplexed.

"Mr. Hockley, if you don't really want it and can understand Rose too…then why on earth are we even talking about this one? Just tear it up and everything will be fine…I assure you I won't mention a word to…"

"No…it's not that easy. You see my father is very adamant about it. He even threatened me about it to disinherit me, if I should refuse to sign it. The same goes for Rose of course."

Cal had started to walk around in the room trying to get his mind off of his worries. He had never known anything else, but the company and shielding everything scandalous from his family. Nathan Hockley had installed an upright behaviour in his son that made him feel superior to others.

Daphne had realized this as well. She knew he wouldn't just speak out against his father nor do anything to dishonour the family-name. He was an obedient son and would do what was expected of him even it meant that he had to go against his own conviction or that in the end he would be miserable with the result.

"Mr. Hockley?" Daphne spoke up marvelling what it was thinking about. "You know, I don't want to talk to Rose about…but I could speak with her afterwards and…"

Cal shook his head. It had been a stupid idea all together to tell her and ask her for help. Miss Gilman was right. She had nothing to do with it and shouldn't be dragged into it. He looked her she had started yawning.

"You're tired?"

"A little bit…yes…," she told him reforming her hand from her mouth. "Not only the customers can be exhausting…," she grinned. "I mean Tracy felt the need to explain everything about her night with your friend and…I'm not hypercritical at all, but there're just some things that I simply don't want to know…but of course Tracy has a different view on things…"

"I can imagine…"

Cal slightly joined in the two of them smiling at each other for a while clearly comfortable in each other's presence. Without even realizing it Cal reached out for her hand clasping it a little. Daphne gave him a weak grin – remembering Jack, Rose, Alejandro and all their problems and how everyone seemed to select out her for a talk about his intimate worries. Mr. Hockley was no omission in this.

Sometimes she wondered why she wasn't charging them any money for her services like any other psychologist would do.

"Why are you doing this to yourself, Miss Gilman? I mean your family is rich and from what I hear your fiancé is also up to a promising carrier…you don't have to work," he told her adding "I mean your family and your fiancé will take good care of you…," her slap took him completely by surprise.

Daphne jumped up angrily storming towards the window, taking a deep breath to calm herself down. He really hadn't learned a thing.

"I work, because I want to…because I don't want to be taken care of as you put it…I want to be able to support myself and not be depending on anyone…"

"But…but you're a woman…women shouldn't work. It's not very becoming…"

It was Cal's luck that he wasn't standing beside her now; otherwise he would've received another blow.

"For them or for their family? I know you won't allow Rose to take up a job, but I'm my own person and luckily Matthew agrees with me…"

She was glad he did and that her family did too. Her parents not only let her have her way, even more so they supported her and both her mother and father agreed that a woman should be able to provide for herself. After all no one could tell what would happen in the future and if her husband became ill they still needed someone to work – moreover it would give her more independence and they thought that a marriage would turn out better, if both partners had interests on their own, rather than one just hanging on the lips of the other.

Her mother too had work as a teacher once and was engaged in charity work, where she was not only organizing things, but helped out in the hospital as well making bandages and assisting at operations. Her father had nothing against it and stood behind her in every way. He had more than once told her that for him she was so much more a real society woman than Ruth Dewitt Bukater, who was just spending the money she was given by others.

'_I don't want you to turn into one of those chicks…,' he had once told his daughter. 'I'm happy that you understand the significance of work and are not being idle the whole day like so many other girls your age and social standing…as the daughter of your mother it wouldn't serve you right…'_

_Daphne had understood that the last sentence was a special compliment to her mother and her._

Cal stared at her for a moment. Somehow whenever they met, it started out quite promising, but later on he would make a comment that seemingly insulted her with him feeling the need to apologize and feeling really guilty. No one else had ever had that impact on him. Normally he didn't care at all what people personally thought of him.

With her it was different. He wanted her to like him.

"Miss Gilman, I…now I may have overreacted...," he started trying his best to make his voice sound steady and convincing.

"May have?"

"Alright…," he wanted to add something, but didn't get further as the door was opened brusquely.

Daphne and Cal stopped talking and immediately increased the space between each other, once they noticed who was standing there.


	25. Chapter 25

Rose threw her arms around Cal's neck giving him a kiss on his cheek. She obviously didn't seem to mind Daphne's presence or more likely hadn't noticed her. She was as happy and content at the moment as could be and couldn't imagine that anyone else was feeling anything less.

"Oh, darling, I'm so glad to see you here. I've missed you so much," she proclaimed cheerfully.

Daphne began nervously playing with strands of her hair and Cal shot her a glance, once Rose had finally let go of him. He forced a smile towards his fiancée, finding her behaviour a little bit over the top. Even if Rose didn't seem to mind about Daphne, someone else clearly did – Ruth. She was furious at what she saw especially, when imagining what might've happened beforehand.

"Rose, dear, these are no proper manners…now stand up straight," Ruth scolded her daughter, before turning her attention to Daphne, who found this incident very amusing.

"You're a very authoritarian person, Mrs. Dewitt Bukater. Rose, if you're not careful, she may even choose your nursing home," she giggled noting how Rose's and Cal's faces turned into smiles as well, but she stopped at once, when she perceived Ruth's ice cold stare.

"Is something wrong, Miss Gilman?"

"No…I…it's just…no…," she muttered embracing herself with her arms as if to warm herself up. "Brrr…it's really chilly here…don't you…?"

But Ruth simply continued to shoot her a dirty look causing Daphne to take a step back.

_If looks could kill…_

Ruth Dewitt Bukater was a master at riding roughshod over someone. She knew exactly how to manipulate people to get what she wanted.

"Mr. Hockley, don't you want to enlighten us and tell what she's doing here?"

Cal didn't like at all how she was speaking of Miss Gilman as if she wasn't even in the room or was just some minor girl from the streets. She was a decent young woman for god's sake and supposedly Rose's friend, Cal would've thought that this alone would make Ruth treat her appropriately.

Apparently he had been wrong.

"I don't think this is any of your concern. Miss Gilman and I have simply discussed something in private. It's nothing to be troubled about," he told herr in harsh tone.

Ruth Dewitt Bukater had to realize that she couldn't get away with everything.

"Mrs. Dewitt Bukater, we didn't…," Daphne wanted to explain herself, but didn't get a chance to being instantly interrupted.

"Nobody was speaking with you, Miss Gilman," Ruth hissed.

"Ruth, please…she was just helping me…," he stopped looking at Daphne for a quick second as if to tell that she didn't need to fear Ruth. "In fact we met only because of Rose. Just a minute ago we were talking about some surprise for…," he didn't get any further as Rose was once again tossing her arms around him.

"Oh, Cal, is this true?" she smiled and walked over to Daphne hugging her friend too. "Oh, I love surprises…I can't wait to see what it is."

_Great now, I've to think of something._

But it had been the first thing that had come to his mind and he couldn't take it back now. He could tell that while Rose was happy and content, Ruth seemingly didn't really buy his scam. Daphne had stepped backwards now feeling Amy Jenkins' eyes on her.

These two put together were truly like Satan in incarnation. No wonder they liked to spend time with each other.

Rose was clutching Cal's hand trying to get something out of him tickling him slightly, but he wriggled out of her grip.

"Pleeasse…Cal…," she begged looking at him with puppy dog eyes.

"Rose, it's a surprise. If I would tell you, it wouldn't be…"

Rose made a sound as if she was angry, but nonetheless gave up turning her attention to Amy, who was still staring penetratingly at Daphne not caring a bit that she was Rose's friend as well.

"Amy and I had so much fun today. Right?" Rose didn't wait for an answer and simply continued not minding at all that Amy wasn't listening. However, all others did. "By the way I've a decided that Amy should be my maid-of-honour…I hope you're not angry, Daphne, but…"

"No, no…I'm not mad…it's your wedding…"

Daphne wasn't angry that Rose hadn't chosen her, but more that Rose had picked Amy Jenkins of all persons. This vile shallow woman was no one she wanted to see near Rose or any other one of her friends.

"Yes, Rose asked me today and of course I couldn't reject. We had a magnificent day, doing some shopping…we would've invited you too, but well Rose said you had to work…always so busy…," Amy sneered.

Daphne faked a smile. She was glad she hadn't been asked to come with them, because otherwise she would've had to pretend some liking for Amy Jenkins and she couldn't stand this woman even for five minutes.

"You've a new pearl necklace, Mrs. Jenkins? It's beautiful," Daphne got out coming to the conclusion that she had to say something nice as not to wipe the smirk off of her face.

"Yes, indeed, isn't it, Miss Gilman? My husband gave it to me today. I had no clue of course and oh god…imagine my surprise when…," she laughed phonily "Tyrell is such a sweet spouse. I can never thank heavens enough for having met him."

Daphne and Cal shared a knowing look. Daphne wondered, if Amy was simply stupid and really had no idea of what was going on in front of her eyes or if she was just play-acting as to be able to go on living a comfortable life in high society. She figured the latter to be true. From what she had heard of various people Amy Jenkins wasn't descended from a well-to-do family, but rather had a very dubious personal history. Now she was acting more papal than the pope.

"Really…nice…," Daphne looked at Rose. "Sorry again that I couldn't come with you…"

"Oh, it was no…"

"Indeed…," Ruth sneered having a pretty good notion of what was going on here.

"Well anyway I promised mother to help her with some donations. Rose, Mrs. Dewitt Bukater, Mrs. Jenkins, Mr. Hockley," she nodded towards everyone. "I wish you a nice day."

"I'm going to escort you out," Cal began about to lead her to the door, but Ruth interrupted him.

"No, I will," Ruth gave Daphne an evil glare. "I mean…I'm sure you would more like to stay here with your fiancée."

"Of course…thanks Ruth," Cal mumbled though not really happy with the outlook.

Ruth didn't seem to like Daphne very much.

"We'll be in contact, Mr. Hockley…for…well you know…"

"Sure…," Cal smiled back winking at her.

At this Daphne felt Ruth's grip tightening around her arms and she pinched her slightly. Once they were outside and Ruth had made sure that the secretary too wasn't listening she angrily turned to Daphne lowering her voice.

"Mrs. Dewitt Bukater…"

"Look, I don't know what game you're playing here, but it's going to stop now. Mr. Hockley is the fiancé of my daughter…who you claim to be your best friend and you will stay away from him or…"

"Or what? You may pester around your servants, Mrs. Dewitt Bukater, but I'm not…"

She felt Ruth grabbing her arm a second time. It hurt badly. She had never known that the fragile looking Ruth Dewitt Bukater was able to display such muscles.

"I don't like to be fooled around, Miss Gilman. Once more you have no business with Mr. Hockley and if I should see you together with him again…alone…I will make you very very sorry…," she smiled at her deceivingly making Daphne to be scared stiff for a second. "Is this in any way unclear?"

"No…," Daphne said having found her voice again. "No, everything will go as you want. Your wish is my command," she even made a little curtsey to emphasize her point.

So this was Rose's mother, the true nature behind her sweet smile and ladylike appearance having come out at once. Daphne was glad that hers was different and that she didn't belong to this family.

"Good girl," Ruth patted her on the shoulder.

Daphne understood immediately that it wasn't meant as a soothing gesture, but more exactly to remind her to better take her seriously.

"I'm certain that you don't want to make Rose unhappy…you know how much she loves this man…"

…

When Jack returned from work he observed an unknown man sitting in the kitchen. This had to be Horatio. Sally had stated that he was mostly staying at home as he was old and wasn't light on his feet anymore. On the way here Jack had bought a newspaper to look through the job announcements. He didn't want to stand out with Sally working twenty for seven.

"Hello, you are, Horatio, right? I'm Jack Dawson, Sally's friend," he offered his hand for the other one to shake, but Horatio simply continued eating just glancing blankly at Jack.

"Yes, I know who you're, Mr. Dawson. Sally told me. She's a good friend of me as well. A very good friend…"

Jack found him not very welcoming, but rather very distant and cold towards him. Hadn't Sally mentioned how nice and pleasant he was to everybody? Jack decided to ignore his behaviour for now and began to read the newspaper. They still had huge articles about the Titanic – the trials having just started. They were questioning various passengers and crewmembers. Jack doubted that anything could really be proven and moreover, even if it was, the victims were already lost and no one could bring them back to live.

There was an interview with Molly as well. Skipping through it Jack found out about her work for the Titanic survivors and that she didn't want to be called a heroine, stating in one sentence – _I've only done what everyone would. I don't deserve any more praise than the anyone else. _

Jack knew this wasn't true, remembering Molly's words to him about Rose he realized now how right she had been. It was true he didn't know anything about Rose and had obviously deemed her to be someone that she wasn't. He turned over to the next page. There was a photograph of the ship leaving Southampton and underneath a drawing of the sinking Titanic. It was actually a pretty faithful sketch making Jack speculate, if the artist had been on the ship as well or had simply a very good imagination.

"You're interested in ships, Mr. Dawson?"

Jack looked up. He had completely forgotten about the other one's presence.

"Not really…just…you know the Titanic…," he stammered feeling uneasy for once. "…it's all over the news and…I wanted to avoid it, but…I guess in the end I'm just as curious as all the others," he forced a smile hoping that this man would warm up to him a bit and that he wouldn't ask him too many questions.

"Are _you_ interested in ships?"

"Yes, very much…in fact I've been a seaman my whole life. I grew up in a small town in England and being the fourth son of a family with seven children I didn't have much to look forward to. I signed up on a schooner, when I was seventeen…sailing in the Levant…working as…now you know general servant…but I got to see many interesting cities like Marseilles, Naples, Alexandria, Algier, Port Said…"

"Yes I know Naples too…have been there some time with a friend…," at remembering this Jack grew sad for a minute.

"I was so proud of being a sailor that I even changed my name to…Horatio is not my real one, but I had such a liking in Mr. Nelson that everyone used to call be this and I decided to keep it...," he smiled at the memory.

"And then?"

"Nothing more...the ships became bigger and more luxurious and I even made it to the rank of a sailor. I've met these kind of people…," he gazed towards the article "…they may be rich, but believe me Mr. Dawson they are having just the same problems as we do…in addition to those concerning their money," he laughing sipping some whiskey. "A habit inherited from working at the sea…"

"Do you have any family?" Jack asked feeling that he needed to get some more information out of this man, who was pretending to be Sally's grandfather.

"No, I've never been married…although I had girls in practically every town we navigated to…but no one of them wanted to live with a man, who would be away from the family for two-thirds of a year…that was too much of a compromise for them…and for me it would've been too much of a commitment…in addition I fear I'm not the faithful type…," he was laughing once more this time a distressed one. "…however, I consider Sally to be my granddaughter. That's why I was so reserved towards you at first. I didn't mean to sound severe, but I don't want to see her hurt. Don't make her unhappy. She's a good girl, who works hard for her dreams and doesn't deserve to be wounded."

"I won't…I promise…she means a lot to me as well," Jack mumbled. "How did you meet Sally?"

"It was about two months ago…at the souvenir shop…well actually in front of it…I had begged her boss for some money and Sally helped me out of it, when she wanted to call the police….she's a dreadful creature…"

Both laughed.

Horatio asked himself, if there was something else going on between them. Sally had spoken in the highest colours of Mr. Dawson and he himself also seemed to have feelings for her. He couldn't hide it from Horatio, who had met a lot of young people to detect the signs of upcoming love.

Hopefully this would turn out right.

"Why don't we open some fresh new bottle of whisky, Mr. Dawson and celebrate our new bound friendship. I would also like to hear something more about you as well."

"Sure, yes…why not…"

…

Daphne threw herself into helping her mother to prepare everything for her monthly charity bazar – trying to get her mind off of Mr. Hockley. Her mother was very happy about her daughter's engagement, but wondered what had caused her sudden change of heart. Daphne normally wasn't so eager to spend time with her.

"How is Tracy? I haven't seen her for so long. I hope she's okay," her mother tried to make up some conversation not liking the silence.

"She's fine…you know, how she's always out and about," Daphne grinned.

Marion Gilman looked at her daughter. She could that she was hiding something. Daphne may be a responsible young woman, who was making something out her life, but she wasn't able to keep a secret. Her other friend, Rose, hadn't been here too for a long time.

So maybe it was about her? Had they been quarrelling? Daphne was sometimes ruthlessly candid, when it came to voicing her opinion and Rose Dewitt Bukater she remembered as a fairly delicate girl, who was constantly under her mother's wing. Rose had always been very shy, but also very polite, while Daphne had more than once gotten herself into trouble at school. At one time she recalled how her daughter had even fought with some a boy, who had insulted a friend of hers in some way. The boy had had a bleeding nose afterwards. There had been no consequences from the family later on, but simply because the boy's father had found it shameful that his son was beaten up by a girl and hadn't wanted it to come out.

Of course it couldn't be secreted for long. From this time on Daphne hadn't been considered marriageable material anymore by those families, who mattered. And some other boys had started t to play boyish games with her, admiring her for what she had done. Marion would've never thought that her daughter would marry someday and both her husband and her were very surprised, when she introduced them to Matthew Weingartner.

"You're so quiet today."

Daphne instantly knew what she really meant. Her mother was sometimes so prying – like every mother, but she realized that she only wanted her best. As she didn't want to talk about herself, she decided to tell her mother the story for Tracy and Mr. Jenkins, of course without mentioning any names. Hopefully this would satisfy her for a while.

"It's just the work. My colleague…"

"Tracy?"

As Daphne had never mentioned anyone else from her job, it was no surprise her mother came up with Tracy first.

Daphne nodded knowing it wouldn't help to lie to her mother.

"Do you think that it is right what she does? You see, we met this man in a pub and…he was…I mean is married and she…you know, I like Tracy…she's a nice girl…but…"

"I like her too, honey. I think you should invite her more often and I think you shouldn't bother yourself so much with the lives of others," her mother smiled at her. "Tracy is a good friend of yours and a good friendship is worth more than some affair…," she picked up a crate placing it near the exit. "Well, I believe we're ready now. I do hope your father gets home in time to drive us to the market. I don't want to hire a taxi again."

Her mother came up to her putting an arm around her to comfort her.

"I know how hard and complicated life can be sometimes for a girl your age. Believe me, before I married your father I was very uncertain concerning him. I mean I knew that I loved him, but I was so young and naïve and didn't know, if it work out for a whole life…but well it did and I couldn't be more contented…," she offered her daughter a smile and gave her a kiss on her forehead. "You've made the right decision, dear. Matthew is a good man and he loves you. You two are going to be very happy together."

Daphne grinned back, though knowing this was only partly true. She remembered Ruth Dewitt Bukater and her threat. She couldn't speak with anyone about it. Her mother would go and tell it everyone of her friends and her father would want to have satisfaction, whatever that meant – but surely nothing good for the Dewitt Bukater. Unlike Rose's family her father had never cared very much about his so-called reputation, but more about justice as he put it. However, Daphne didn't want any scandal and moreover she didn't want any dispute with Rose.

"You could call Rose too, you know."

"Rose?"

Why on earth was her mother coming up with her now? Had she said anything to make her suspicious?

"I'm sure she'll love to help out. Sadly so many of our commitee are ill at the moment and we could really need someone…come on call her and get over with whatever argument you're having with her."

"How do you…?" Daphne's mouth stood open for a moment as she was clearly stunned.

"I'm your mother, honey. Mothers know everything," they laughed together. "Now, come on tell your friend. I'm sure she'd love to assist us…with a mother like Ruth Dewitt Bukater I'm certain she doesn't get to spend much time alone…"

_So true, mother, so true._

…

Sally found Jack sitting on a bench outside their flat, drawing. She was late from work as they had done inventory, of course without any extra pay. The best she could hope for was some hours off some time in the future. But she doubted it.

"Hey," she smiled at him sitting down.

"Hey," Jack grinned back though not really in the talkative mood.

He had had a very long conversation with Horatio, who had told him to be careful with Sally. Then they had spoken about their lives and their travels around the world, but when it came to talking about ships and some catastrophes Horatio had been into Jack had become awfully silent hoping that Horatio hadn't noticed.

'_The Titanic must've been a wonderful ship to sail on to…I would've loved to see their machinery and….and of course the exquisite rooms…now for sure I'm glad that I wasn't travelling on this one…luxury surely doesn't compensate for death…'_

_Jack had forced a smile at this and luckily Horatio had continued with most of the talking._

'_Just imagine that ice cold water…I went swimming once in September…in France and it was already pretty cold…but the shore was near so no danger ahead…while these poor people…I remember the water being freezing,' he sighed._

_Yes it was…like a thousand stitches…as Jack remembered telling Rose to prevent her from jumping of the ship._

Without asking Sally took the portfolio out of his hand. He had drawn the picture of a young woman. Sally instantly knew who it was.

"Jack, I realize how hard this is, but…"

"She told me that she didn't want to see me anymore…that I shouldn't bother her…and how she loved her fiancé and that I'm only jealous, when speaking ill of him…"

"Well, Jack, you're jealous….she's right about this…but I'm not so sure anymore, if you're really in love with her or simply want her, because you can't have her…I mean you wouldn't the first man with this problem."

"What do you suggest I should do now?" he looked up at her.

"I guess this is up to you."

"You're really a great help," Jack growled. "Molly has told me the same already…how I wouldn't know what I want…

"Another truth…Jack," she spoke up "…alright, I tell what you…we…will do. We invite her over here and you tell her everything that about the Titanic and what happened between you two…and I mean…everything…if you want I'm going to stay with you, but that's up to you…"

"Jack, you don't know what her family said to her…maybe they told her something evil about you…expressing the whole truth to her is the only way to win her back…"

"Maybe you're right…," he mumbled his head hanging down.

Jack thought about what she had said a minute before, about him not really loving her and then he remembered Molly and wondered if he really knew anything about real love. He turned his head towards Sally. This girl was his knight in shining armour, always there, when he needed someone. He was probably not thanking her enough for it.

'_She's a nice and decent girl…only there to make others and especially you happy; Mr. Dawson and I really hope you're treasuring her…don't waste that friendship…'_

Jack asked himself what Sally had told Horatio about their relation and if he knew anything intimate about their past. He certainly had acted like it, but on the other hand hadn't seemed very happy about the fact that Jack was now living here with them.

"Of course I'm…what do you always say…oh yes…make it count…well then let's do it…live up to your motto, Jack…I'm going to visit her tomorrow after work and invite her for the weekend. I think we're both free on Saturday?"

Jack nodded taking his sketches back looking once more at one of Rose. She was smiling back at him in picture, something that he rarely saw nowadays of the real Rose. Somehow he doubted that Cal or Ruth had told her anything about him. They were surely too concerned to trigger her memory about him.

"She's a beautiful girl, Jack…and if she is what you want…I'm going to help you to get her…," she put her hand on his. "I'm not entirely sure that she's the right one for you…but I'll be convinced of the opposite…"

He smiled weakly at her. On the Titanic everything had seemed so simple between them and when Rose had told him that she wanted to leave the ship with him, he had been on top of the world. At the moment he wasn't so certain any longer. He wasn't even sure any more about the fact, if her memory loss was the only thing that kept them apart.


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews, favorites, followers.**

* * *

Tyrell Jenkins opened his eyes sitting up next to Tracy, who stirred under the covers. He got up and put on his wardrobe, afterwards resting near Tracy again and waited for her to wake up. This girl was just what he had needed. She had apparently no ambitions other than possible receiving some nice jewellery now and then. And she had no connections to anyone with influence meaning she couldn't be a threat to him.

Tracy was depended on him, just the way he wanted it and he could use her until he had enough of her and then send her away for good. He had always done it this way, sometimes with money involved sometimes not. Some of his former affairs had blackmailed him to expose him to his wife, to the press, one even had bribed with some papers from this work that he didn't want the government to see, but in the end he had grown the upper hand – there was nothing money couldn't buy. Except maybe for love, but luckily he didn't care about this one.

Tracy started yawning moving around, stretching out her arms her eyes slowly opening as she rubbing the sleep out of them.

"Oh god my head…I think I've got migraine…," she spoke up as she was massaging her temples.

"You're too young for migraine…," Tyrell laughed up.

Tracy looked at him at once. They had met at the bar again this time without Mr. Hockley and Daphne. They had drinks, beer and wine and some more beer and wine. Tyrell had even invited the whole bar for a drink at one time. Long after midnight they had ended up here in the most expensive hotel of the city. Tracy was still in awe, when she thought of the luxury surrounding her.

"I guess I had a little bit too much…," Tracy rearranged the cushion laying comfortable against them.

This was something else than her usual home.

"Me too…do you want to call the room service? I certainly could need something to eat. I'm starving."

Tyrell walked over to the window taking a quick glance outside. He had promised Cal's father to meet with him later on, telling him that it was very important, but also that he shouldn't mention a word to Cal. This could only mean one thing.

He reached out for Tracy's hand kissing up her arm, making her snigger slightly.

This girl was so dumb.

"As long as you pay…," Tracy giggled putting her arms around his neck.

"Of course, dear…as long as you are going to spend some time with me and indemnify me for my loveless marriage…"

"Oh, poor you….so your wife is a cruel as she seems…"

One thing that Tyrell always made sure, when choosing a new lover – other than them being young and beautiful – was that they weren't too intelligent to come up with their own plans to stand in his way. Tracy fulfilled these standards to perfection.

He couldn't have found anyone better and through her friend Daphne, whose fiancée was one of his nemeses this new relationship was surely going to be worth a mint.

"Amy is…I can't even describe it, but she's no love left for me….of course I admit that I'm not faultless myself, but who could be devoted to a woman like her? She's manipulating people myself included."

"I'm not in love with you either…," Tracy chuckled once more, kissing him as they hugged each other and fell on the bed together. "I hope you know I'm only here, because of your wealth. Personally you don't mean anything to me."

While stating it Tyrell instantly knew that she was lying mostly to herself. Her eyes deceived her, showing her true feelings. He knew women and how to use them for his own benefit. In the end they were all the same.

"I wouldn't have it any other way," Tyrell said kissing her on her neck and down her body.

"Tyrell…god you're so…," she laughed up as he began touching her lower down her body removing her nightgown his hands caressing every curve of her body.

She was his treasure though not in way that she that thought. He knew that Daphne didn't like him her looks in the bar had said as much, but now her friend was in his hands and he knew exactly how to take advantage from this affair.

"Ha…ha…Tyrell…I'm very ticklish…"

"You're so wonderful, honey…I've never known a woman as soft and caring as you…," he got out in a whisper kissing up her legs, sucking on her nipples, his hands moving between her inner thighs.

If there was one thing in which he was an expert of aside from conning people with whom he was making business, it was pleasuring a woman in bed. He had studied them for years, practising and knew exactly what they desired.

Tracy moaned in pleasure as she finally felt him entering her. She cherished making love and Tyrell was a brilliant lover, probably the best one she had ever had. They were tossing and turning around touching and caressing each other as if there was no tomorrow, to outsiders for sure looking like they were really in love.

"You were great…," she laughed up as the rolled of her turning to the other side. "I must say on a scale from one to ten you score nine."

"Only nine…? I believe I've to prove you wrong…," he started embracing her all over again about to start a second round and was stunned, when Tracy was moving up and began to put her clothes back on.

"Hey, honey, what's the matter with you? I thought we would spend some time more together."

"I'd love to, but work is starting and…alas I've to go…sorry…we can meet later on…," she explained while dressing up. "My boss doesn't like, when I'm being late and Daphne won't be pleased as well, because she'll have to clean my tables too…"

"You're a good friend of hers, right?"

"Yes, she's the best…I'm sorry, but I do have to leave…it was nice…," she told him giving him another kiss on his mouth. "Tell your wife that I wish her a nice day," she joked as she made her way out the room.

"I will," he shouted after her before calling the room service.

"Stupid girl…," he laughed once she had left.

Then he put on some clothes and began to read through some papers waiting for the breakfast to arrive. He loved his hotel and was a regular here. They were always nice and discreet and he could be sure that done of his doings wouldn't be leaked out the press. Not that he cared for Amy and her feelings, but for his career it was certainly better everyone believed he did. His stocks were up high in the air and his newest capital expenditures and investments in Europe were in rolling in money day in day out. Indeed his life couldn't be any better.

…..

"Jack, you've to concentrate on work. Mr. Stevenson is watching you," Daphne warned him, when coming into the kitchen.

"Sorry…it's just…I'm seeing Rose on Saturday to…to tell her the truth about us and I…I still don't know what I'll do, if she doesn't…"

Sally must've already told Rose and hopefully she had said yes. Luckily he knew Sally wouldn't take no for an answer.

"Believe you? Jack, whatever happens between you, I'm sure you find the right words and do the right things. You're a good man, Jack…I can say this already despite knowing you only a month and Rose…Rose must be totally stupid, if she's rejecting you."

Jack forced a smile. For once he was happy that the café was busy keeping him occupied. Alejandro was ill with a fever he had developed from his son and hadn't been to work for a week, which he has more to do than usual as Mr. Stevenson refused to hire someone else.

"Miss Gilman, what are you still doing in here? I'm not paying you for small talking."

"Sorry, Mr. Stevenson…we just had some…alright I'm coming…"

"The tables are not mopping themselves you know," he called after her. "Now to you, Mr. Dawson, I must say you're looking pale lately. I hope you're not _ill_ too, because I don't want to see another loss in the company…," Mr. Stevenson stated to him. "Keep on working guys…"

Another loss? Did this mean that…that he had fired Alejandro? And if so did Alejandro know about it? Why had he never mentioned a word? Why had nobody ever told him, how Mr. Stevenson was organizing things here? The way he had pronounced the word _ill_ had Jack told as much. He obviously believed that they were all simulating.

And here he was having thought him to be a nice guy, when apparently Mr. Stevenson was just like the rest of them without any scruples and only thinking of the profit. Jack was scolding himself slightly for having thought that maybe he could be different. He had reminded him at first of the kind Mr. Andrews from the Titanic.

"No, everything is alright, Sir…I assure you…nothing to worry about…," Jack quickly spoke up grabbing another plate to wash.

His boss should see how hard he worked and that there was no need for him to dismiss him. Mr. Stevenson continued to make his daily inspection, looking closely, if everything was to his satisfaction. Until now Jack had always thought that he was doing this to encourage his workers, but at this instant he knew better – he was simply doing it to see, if they made a mistake.

Tracy didn't help much, bursting through the back door, obviously to avoid being seen.

"Miss Miller?" Mr. Stevenson came to stand behind her as Tracy put on her apron.

"Yes, Sir?"

"Do you need a watch?"

Tracy realized of course that this wasn't meant as a question. Quickly she turned around an apologetic look on her face.

"I'm sorry, Sir…I…I didn't mean to…"

"It's the second time in a week that you're late. If this happens again you can stay at home. Is this understood?"

Tracy nodded slightly.

"Yes, Sir…," she bowed her head trying hard not to laugh.

"Fine. Ladies and Gentlemen I've an announcement to make, it may seem silly to you, but if we're not doing well here our customers won't come a second time and you lose your jobs. I hope you understand this," he spoke up in a tone between belittling, warning and concern. "I may be the owner here, but you're the ones making the restaurants what it is. Think about it."

"Very well then…"

Once he was gone, Tracy turned to Jack whispering something about how unfair Mr. Stevenson always was, though Jack found that he had gotten a point here.

Jack was even more engaging himself, after his fear of being dismissed. He had just made up some plans with Sally about taking up courses at an institute to learn more about professional drawing and she wanted to do open her own florist's. He couldn't let her down now.

At six, when he was barely out of the café, Sally was already running towards him clearly out of breath.

"Jack…I've just returned from the Dewitt Bukaters…phew what a name…at least she was there and…"

Jack grinned at the memory as if it had only happened yesterday.

"Anyway…Rose is coming on Saturday at five…," she murmured in his ear like it was essential that nobody else would hear. "I tell you it wasn't easy to convince her."

"I knew I could rely on you."

He hugged her and gave her kissed on the cheek. Daphne, who was standing behind Jack noticed the familiarity between the two and began to wonder. She had never seen this girl before, but Jack clearly knew her well.

"Thank…," he began, when he made out a voice behind him.

"Jack?"

Jack turned around his arms still placed behind Sally's back. They were looking like they had known each other forever and obviously didn't mind anyone noting their affection for one another. Sally playfully started tickling Jack in his side.

"Hey…stop this…," he protested laughingly. "Daphne…I'm sorry…this is Sally…my friend…," he got out laughingly.

"A very good friend…," Sally added.

"Yes…," Jack confirmed looking at her not Daphne.

A ringlet had fallen into her eyes and Jack moved it away receiving a thank you and another kiss from Sally. Daphne was totally flabbergasted. They were openly flirting with each other and worse still didn't even notice it themselves. She asked herself, if Rose knew anything about it and if not, if she should be the one to tell her or better not get involved.

"Thank you," Sally smiled up at him.

Friends they had said, but they didn't act like friends would.

"Nice to meet you, Sally," Daphne got out once she found her voice again. "How long are you staying here?"

"Oh, Jack and I are living together…we share an apartment…as friends…," she felt committed to say.

Daphne wondered if Jack and this girl even understood themselves what they were doing and how they came across to others. In school Rose and she had often pretended to celebrate their own wedding or how it would like to be having a boyfriend and Jack's and Sally's doings didn't even come close – they were way ahead.

"…with her grandfather…," she heard Jack speaking up as if to back her up that there was nothing between them, but his own actions betrayed him instantly as he started to move closer towards Sally, her head resting on his shoulder at the moment. "You know it's easier with the rent this way…we can save up money…"

Daphne felt herself nod, while in reality she didn't understand a word. These two surely shared a history and certainly knew each other longer than Jack did know Rose. Otherwise they wouldn't act so familiar.

"We're going for a drink. Do you want to come with us?" Sally asked wanting to make a good impression on Jack's colleague.

Daphne looked around; everyone else seemed to have disappeared. She didn't want to be the odd one out here. Jack she especially didn't understand. He was behaving so strange. Hadn't he told her about his love for Rose not that long ago? But then again, he was a man too and in the end all men were equal, when it came to women.

_Oh, I'm probably just exaggerating. Maybe they're simply good friends like they said. Where is Tracy, when needed?_

How long did he know this girl? Jack and Sally were seemingly awaiting an answer as they both started tripling around as if being nervous.

"And?" Jack was requiring a reply.

"Where did you plan on going?"

"I don't know…wherever you want…Sally and I are very open-minded people and we love to taste new things…"

Indeed, she had seen as much. She pondered what Sally knew of Rose and if she knew of her and if she realized that she wasn't Jack's only interest. Hopefully he wasn't just using both of them. She had known many men, who did. Deciding that she needed to find out she finally gave in and followed them.

…..

Rose sat on her bed reconsidering the latest events. Amy had been here before wanting to discuss her bachelor party. Rose hadn't really been in the mood to talk about some festivity, but had nonetheless listened to her. She got up opening a trinkets box she had discovered in her drawer, with the presents arriving daily now, it surely might be useful.

"Rose, dear, are you sleeping?"

"No, come in, mother…it's open."

Ruth appeared fully dressed despite the late time. Rose had never seen her mother in anything less, but stylish clothes, not that she remembered anyway.

"Rose, I wanted to…," she stopped noticing the box in her hands.

It was from her father, but obviously Rose had forgotten that too.

"I didn't know you still had it. Your father gave it to you on your fifteenth birthday. He told me that you would need something to store the jewellery you would certainly receive soon enough from your admirers."

Now that explained the box, but not why it was empty. Rose twisted around her engagement ring as if to decide if she should put it in the box. Ruth wondered what her daughter was thinking about.

"Why did you come here?"

"Ah, yes…I wanted to tell you that we've another appointment with the dressmaker tomorrow and I seriously hope that it's not in vain again this time. There can't be any delay here once more."

Rose weakly smiled at her mother, wanting so much to share her excitement, but in fact she would rather elope with Cal and marry somewhere completely alone only taking two witness with them. And then they could live in a faraway town, where nobody knew them and Cal wouldn't have to work anymore, but would be with her the whole day long.

They would be sipping cocktails, sleeping and simply enjoying themselves with no troubles along.

"Sure, yes, mother," Rose found herself answering.

"Great. Now, I wanted to tell you something else too," Ruth cleared her throat. She had been thinking about this one for days, not wanting her daughter to get a false impression. Before continuing she sat down near her daughter taking her hand in hers. "I've to tell you how immensely proud I'm of you."

Rose gazed at her totally surprised.

Was this really her mother speaking?

"I know that I'm sometimes…well now a little bit overprotective…but I assure you whatever I did or do, it's only for your best. You're a young woman and sometimes you need some guidance, but finally I think you've understood this yourself," she then kissed her on her forehead.

"I wanted to tell you this, before…before the stress with the wedding can get between…," Ruth caressed her hand and stood up making her way over to the door.

Rose realized how hard, it must've been for her mother to tell her this. Clearly not being a woman to display many emotions, stiff and even a bit frigid, it surely was like lightening up a firework in her terms. Rose shot her a smile of thankfulness and gratitude. For the first time since loosening her memory she felt that her mother truly cared for her.


End file.
